Since the dawn of the interwebs (or at least since wifi was a thing), there has been a rule. A rule, or perhaps a constant, which has inspired variation, intrigue, and general weirdness – rule 34 (r34). According to Urban Dictionary, this rule is defined as…
“If it exists, there is porn of it. If there isn't, there will be. Only one known exception: rule 34 itself.”
I call it, the constant which dictates that there are enough weird, horny fuckers who can draw pretty well and will find a site to upload their pervy posts for equally odd and horny people to whack it to.
No one knows where rule 34 came from or what dark corners of the net the first rule 34-esque posts came from, but it's certainly an iron law of pursuing porn on the web. If you can imagine a porn parody of something, it already exists. And if it doesn't, the good folks at rule34.xxx have a made it their mission statement to make sure that it does.
Does This Site Really Have Porn Parodies of Everything?
Surprisingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly, yes it does, actually. At least as far as I can tell. After spending too much time speed scanning through dozens of random pages, I think I can confidently say that they’ve got just about every franchise, pop icon, and fetishized anthropomorphic animal covered.
Besides the bevy of babes with gravity defying tits, you’ve got your animated horses screwing, humanoid dragons cumming on each other, school girls with gigantic gozongas making sexy poses, and unclassifiable creatures doing stuff which is illegal in several US states.
Besides typical sex stuff, there's a lot of fetishes represented here – and way beyond what you might suspect. Between the occasional scat or trampling posts, you'll eventually find some pregnant men posing suggestively or a sexualized dinosaur laying an egg.
There’s even a pic of a cartoon chive standing on a stack of books and talking dirty while penetrating a submissive white rook. Yes, that’s right, you read that correctly. An onion fucking a goddamn chess piece.
To be fair, the effort of the artists put into each post is generally pretty good. Plus, everything is extensively well tagged, so finding other kinky shit related to the stuff you are swinging it to isn't too hard. (Yeah, of course, there's no pun there.)
That’s the amount of content and level of variety that rule 34 has generated and which the Rule34XXX website has dutifully collected. Sadly, everything is still images, no videos at all.
But, unlike other porn sites which feature a lot of hentai and hentai-inspired content, virtually everything on Rule34 is completely uncensored. No obnoxious black bars or stupid pixelation. And unlike other sites in this genre, everything is posted in English. Best of all, all content is free.
So, if you’re into inventive cartoon fetish stuff which can tickle your fancy and never fail to provide variety, this is the site for you.
Oh yeah, in case you were wondering, there are plenty of pretty attractive “normal” looking girls doing sexy poses, if you’re into that stuff, too.
Adjusting to the Sites Aesthetics
One thing I had to adjust to when looking at Rule34 – besides all of the cartoon dragon dicks, that is – was the site's design. I suppose you could say that it is functional but boring. At best it looks like the basic template was based off of a mediocre Tumblr page. It’s not uninspired enough to be broken but just badly executed. Especially with that puke green background the designers used.
At worst, it looks like a digital throwback from ages ago. Seriously, despite being created in 2012, you know when database web builders like Wordpress and Wix had long been mainstream, Rule34 looks like it was coded in 1998.
There are no drop-down menus, each page is crawling with awkwardly placed ads, and the text-heavy pages are terribly formatted. Weirdly, even the search bar is only accessible from the home page and nowhere else.
To get around this, the site's designers added a "cheat sheet" page just to make certain forms of navigation and posting on the site easier.
To be fair, though, the site actually looks a little bit better on mobile, weirdly.
Assuming you can make it past the design crap factor, there are a low of neat sub-sections on Rule34. First, the page called pools collect all of the posts with a common theme or are best viewed in a certain sequence, like a series of comic strips.
The stats page lists the most recent top-ranked users, including commenters, image posters, forum posters, and more. By checking out the aliases and artists page, it's easier to find your favorite site contributors. You can even check the most recent comments on popular posts on the comments page.
Technically you can search for other tags on this page but only tags. Same deal with the artists and aliases pages, too.
Devoted and Intense Community
Maybe the best part of Rule34, besides all of the filthy fan pics, is its community features. Yes, the format of the forum is about as shitty as the best its site and takes time to get used to. Hell, I think that the structure of conversation threads are worse than Reddit's. I assume if you give it enough time you'll get used to it, but it's a pain in the ass to even try to adjust a little.
However, there is a lot, and I mean a lot, of community engagement. With over 15,000 members, hundreds of people online at any time in the day, and hundreds of forum posts, there’s plenty of people to chat with about your favorite smut sketches.
You can access 90% of the site without an account, but by registering an account, you can take part in all of the forum discussions and Discord chatting. Fortunately, account registration is really easy and completely free.
To get more community engagement and to, apparently promote good artists, Rule34 does have something I’ve never seen on any other porn site – an iCame count. Users are asked to report which pic that they most recently squirted over. Top posts are ranked with an interesting iCame counter. So if you're looking for novelty and a unique sort of top favorite page, there ya go.
If you find that you can't get enough of the type of porn posts on Rule34, there are several other partner sites in the Booru community. On the plus side, a lot of the content style is the same. Most posts are cartoons, although there are some sweet pictures, cleverly photoshopped images, and even some clever gifs. Oh yeah, there is a subpar blog website, if you care about that kind of thing as well.
On the downside, the same shitty web design is used throughout the Booru sites. On top of that, the level of quality control varies between each of the other Booru sites. You’ll also have to deal with a bunch of distracting ads, too.
Moving on, if you really want to support the community, Rule34’s got a Patreon page and even a small e-store where you can buy a Rule34 shirt if you want to flash your affinity for animated kink in public.
So What’s My Final Word?
Overall, Rule34 is a massive website with lots of stuff to look at. Assuming you like animated erotic images, there's literally anything and everything that you can imagine. If you find that what you are looking for hasn't been posted to Rule34 yet, it's a good bet that it soon will be. Of course, you're also free to creating upload your own kinky cartoons, if no one posts the stuff you want to see.
So yeah, Rule34.xxx definately lives up to its name.
Still, I can’t get over how bad the web layout is. Like I said, if you can get past how bad it is or even manage to adjust, I guess it won’t totally ruin your experience. That is, of course, if you can get used to it. On the other hand, the active community and sheer amount of content does make up for this a little bit.
Despite its design issues, it’s got lots of good (and super weird) content and a good community which is why I give Rule34 three out of five cramping hands.