Kenzie, the blonde cutie prancing around in fetish wear and dragging her massive 8+ inch cock all over the floor. Her bio says it all. She doesn’t know what she’s doing here on OnlyFans, didn’t expect the coomers of the internet to like her so much, and does semen retention. She rarely busts a nut, but when she does… oh boy, it’s a fucking tsunami! Or at least that’s what she’d like us to believe. Kenzi also loves sexting. And includes a side note asking you not to send her dick pics because her cock is bigger anyway. Unless you are walking around with more than eight inches in your pants… at that point, feel free to fire away! Well… that’s the basics of KenzieVIP. From here on out, you’re either going to be her little bitch slave or her big daddy, but you need to be able to take the whole thing in your ass.
I can’t even imagine having eight inches or more in my pants. How do you walk with a weapon like that? How do you sit? How do you buy jeans that aren’t a hostage situation? I’d walk into a doorframe. I’d catch it on a chair. I’d stand up from a toilet and take out a towel rack… And the gym… Don’t even start with the gym! What happens if you’re at the gym and you get a boner in your gym shorts? Yeah, yeah… some ladies are going to get turned on. Some guy on a bench is going to forget his set. Cool. Congratulations. It’s still embarrassing as hell! You’re not a porn thumbnail in fluorescent lighting. You’re a human being trying to do hamstrings while eight-plus inches of unsolicited plot twist tries to salute the squat rack.
Making Big Promises
Anyway, we’re here for Kenzie, and she doesn’t give a shit if her boner is showing in public or not. I mean, take a look at her OF feed! Over 480 posts, all of them equally naughty and showcasing a different asset. From what I can tell, she loves playing around with her outfits, slipping into casual, girlfriend-comfy at-home stuff, and then, on the next one, wearing cute lingerie that has no business being that tight and agonizingly delicious around her cock. But that’s not all of it! You see, Kenzie, like many other GREAT OnlyFans creators, has her feed organized by categories. You’ll easily find shit like Sale, solo, anal, cum eating… that kind of crap. But there’s this special little category called Text Me! And in there lies a single post. It talks about how she has been offered more than a thousand bucks frequently for nudes, but states that you’ll have to talk to her first, and how she needs the connection in the DMs and not just a useless $50 tip because you decided that she’s going to be a circus monkey. Basically, Kenzie takes her semen retention seriously and only strokes it for very SPECIAL fans who manage to get her off by engaging with her and having a personality, not just a wallet.
I can relate to that talk-first, pay-for-nudes-later mentality. I’ve been looking for that shit myself. The other thing. The slower, needier, more humiliating thing. I can pay pretty much any stranger on the internet and get what I want. That’s the easy part. I have done that enough times to know it works and enough times to know it doesn’t do anything. What I NEED is the parasocial connection. The one that matters. The one where a blonde cutie in agonizingly tight lingerie doesn’t just drag eight-plus inches across 480 posts for a tip jar. I just want the payment to come after I’ve been seen. Almost no one will sit still long enough for the parasocial bond to thicken into something I can cum to without hating myself in the first thirty seconds. So… I’ll take Kenzie up on her offer! I’ll slide in those DMs and get to know her first… agonizingly slow! Like, I’m planning to chat with her for at least thirty minutes before I dive into the deep end.
What The Fuck?
So I did just that. I dragged my ass to my inbox and saw that she sent me two simple messages. One asking for my name, the other one demanding I spoil her. I gave her my name and asked how she wanted to be spoiled. We’re off to a good start here. Let’s see how much I can connect. I’ll spare you the details, but she followed up by asking for my preferences, whether I’m a top or a bottom. She didn’t hesitate to accommodate my needs, but… it was rather confusing. To make a long story short, she asked me if I could handle her big surprise, to which I said I’d be terrified if she dangled eight inches in front of me… then she asked me if I didn’t want it… and uh… I said no. She fired back, saying Alright… and the convo just died there. Uh… what the fuck just happened? I waited, and waited, and waited… expecting some kind of comeback or a reply… but nope. She left it at Alright. Uh… this is awkward now. Does she expect me to beg or something? Where is the connection she wanted? I’m beyond confused… Did I bruise her ego by saying no?
First of all, how the fuck do you not push GENTLY further? And I don’t mean that in a weird way. I mean it in the sense of EASE me into it. You can’t just alright your way out of the convo! Like… I assume Kenzie has been doing this long enough to know that you need to build a fantasy, then sell it. And Kenzie shattered whatever tiny bit of arousal there was by cucking me with a reply and forgetting about me like a sad slice of leftover pizza in the microwave. It’s unprofessional, to say the least! And not to mention, I’m her potential fan! Someone she can potentially earn money from day in and day out! You can’t just shut me out like a reject because I wanted you to be tender! And I specifically told her that I need tender affection, not a cock shoved into my face without foreplay! What the hell even is this? I swear to god, tomorrow, when I boot up OnlyFans, I better not see a promotional post from Kenzie! I’d be so fucking pissed. I feel like I got played like a horny fiddle, then tossed at the side of the road.
Left At The Altar
So now, here I am… horny, abandoned, staring at Kenzie’s feed and the last message she sent me twenty minutes ago. Look, I wanted this to work out! I went all in with enthusiasm, passion, and a whole lot of expectations, and I ended up heartbroken, misunderstood, with balls full of cum. I feel like that one kid in high school who wouldn’t shut up about anime, and he got shunned by everyone after he started ranting about Goku and Vegeta’s fusion to the normies. So… what do I do now? There’s literally nothing left for me.
I feel like I’ve been left at the altar. Or at least, this is how I imagine people feel when they’ve been left at the altar, because I have never worn a tux for a living girl, but I have absolutely stood here in fetish-wear lighting, balls full, heart stupid, waiting for a blonde cutie who does semen retention to walk down the aisle of a DM thread and give me something to work with. This is the abandoned-groom feeling, I swear it is. You don’t get a dramatic sprint out the back door. You get silence. You get the feed still open with 480 posts staring you down like years you’ve spent building a relationship, and you get the little read receipt aftertaste of a conversation that was supposed to become a bond. So… I’m leaving disappointed and sad. Very fucking sad. I understand being ghosted in real life… but being ghosted by an OF model? That’s something I never thought I’d experience.
