Bite the shinies! Under we go… to the deep goblin goon crawl-hole. The folks at Hentaied have done it yet again, and they managed to bring one of the nastiest fantasies to life! So pour a glass of piss-ale, shine that lube on ya stink rod, and say hello to goonblins.com! A website that lives by the big stab, little stab philosophy. Want to see cute bitches get absolutely wrecked by the nastiest, most brutal goblins out there? And yes, I’m talking actual goblins! These guys have gone above and beyond, hired the best production gear out there, crafted the perfect outfits and make-up, and made compelling yet highly explicit pornographic movies, and then decided that you dung-sniffers are going to jack off to this, viciously!
There’s literally nothing quite like goonblins.com on the internet, LITERALLY. You already know I hold deep respect and love for hentaied, so I’m expecting perfection out of them, and they delivered that in spades! But I don’t want to spoil the shinies for you! Let’s first take a deep, hard look at this website, and accept it like it’s the first coming of horny goblin Jesus. Don’t question it, just stare in awe! Are ya done? Good, now we can feast!
Brought To You By The Best In The Industry
Before we do anything, you’ll need to appease the goblins, and what do goblins love more than beautiful, naked women to pillage? Shiny gold coins! In other words, you’ll need to pay for this shit! Now, usually, a subscription to the predecessors of Goonblins.com (such as Hentaied, Freeze, Parasited, etc) meant access to all the platforms/series across the Hentaied network, and that includes Goonblins.com. But… I don’t see them flaunting that selling point here! They have the subscription menu separated into two bits: you have the single series only, which applies to Goonblins access only, and then you have the all series membership, which gives access to hentaied.pro aka all the series across the network (I mentioned them earlier).
Obviously, the single series of goonblins will be much cheaper than full access to the entire network. If you want to sample the shinies, you can purchase a two-day trial for $5, which gives you full reign across this entire website. But if you want to be a serious goon, then the most popular offer billed at $13 a month for 30-day access might sound more appealing to you. Of course, you have options to purchase 180 days and 365 access, billed at $65 or $100 each, but that’s on you to decide. If my word means anything to you, then get that 30-day subscription! Yes… It’s that freaking good!
Now back to the main course! In total, as of now, there are only five videos on this website. All of them are produced by Ricky Greenwood, who, for those of you who don’t know, is the mastermind behind countless porn classics that you’ve jacked off to in the past. On top of that, he has worked with the biggest stars in the porn industry, and to no one’s surprise… There are big names in the goonblins.com series! Let’s start at the beginning, the first must watch part of this series, The Goonblins, part 1! This first episode features the cutie, Lana Smalls, and kicks things off with Lana running in a grey forest, at night, with nothing but a lantern in hand. She immediately gets captured by two goonblins, with green dicks and everything, and by the end… every single pleasure hole of her body is leaking with cum, and her entire torso is covered in goonblin semen.
I was intentionally brief here! I don’t want to spoil the entire thing for you! But seriously, the attention to detail here is insane! The masks, the lightning, the little shed she gets dragged into, the struggle to escape, the inevitable surrender to the goonblins, and the climax, all of it was timed perfectly! I can write a whole separate review on this part 1 of the series alone, but there’s a lot of material to go over, so… make do with what you got for now. Better yet, subscribe and watch this masterpiece for yourself!
Trouble In The Woods And The Goonblins
The goonblins series has three parts, and the second one is where they bring in the star power. They kick things off with a little recap of Lana Smalls getting absolutely destroyed by the goonblins, then she wakes up, smiles at the goblins, as if she was enjoying it this whole time, and through that creaky barn door, two perfectly shaved yet supple feet appear. As the camera pans up slowly, it reveals Addison Vodka and Ameena Green, and bam! The goonblins waste no time! They rush towards them, a struggle occurs for the next seven minutes or so, and Lana just sits there, laughing, watching them struggle, eventually… the girls surrender, and another goonblin fuck fest happens with cum leaking everywhere, and everyone is happy and satisfied in the end.
Then of course, you have the goonblins part three, the climax of this whole fiasco! This one switches the cast completely! Now you’re looking at Chanel Camryn, Elias Cash, and Octavia Red. The story also takes a turn, and it stars Octavia Red, lost in an ancient labyrinth. She runs and runs, tries to escape, but gets tired, exhausted, near her breaking point. WHAM! The goonblins jump out of the shadows, they start ravaging her, toying with their prey before tearing her clothes, and fucking her mercilessly. The more they cum and cover her in goonblin semen, the less resistant she becomes. Eventually, she falls to their semen magic and becomes a goonblin human sex slave.
But the goonblin madness doesn’t end there! There’s a whole other show here called Trouble in the Woods, and it only has two parts. The first part of this maddening sex frenzy follows Maddie Wren as the innocent, flower-gathering maiden. She prances around the forest with a basket, collecting flowers, some red, some white, some yellow… step by step, she ventures deeper in the forest, and… someone’s watching her. Eventually, the goonblins reveal themselves! They waste no time snatching Maddie and shoving their raging green boners inside her mouth. Minute after minute, they cover her in cum, until she’s nothing but a naked maiden, brutally destroyed by the goonblins, who leave after they get their fill. The scene ends with Maddie walking back, dazed and defeated, permanently marked as the goonblin’s plaything. The second episode features a very similar trope, but this time starring Anna Claire and Emma Rosie, and you know what happens by the end.
Pay Per Shiny
Now that you know what each episode is about, I’ll reveal one last card that Goonblins.com hid in plain sight! If you’re the type of lad who prefers to pay per video, and not a subscription, then you’ll be pleased to know that goonblins.com offers that option! Each episode costs at least $24, sometimes a bit more, but never an outrageous price. On top of that, this is only the beginning for this website! You can expect a whole lot more episodes and series to come out of this goon hole.
Once again, Goonblins.com met all of my expectations! I told you, the whole monsterporn.com network never ceases to amaze me! And I know some of you idiots out there want some kind of plot, a story, but don’t think too much about it! This is porn, the focal point is the penetrative action and the fantasy! They deliver in spades when it comes to that, and they do it with a creative passion that will ruin other porn sites for you, forever. You don’t have to take my word for it! Go out there, spend some money on the two-day trial, go through the goonblins episodes, and see the magic unfold in front of your eyes! But beware, this website is not for the faint of heart. They take the fantasy to an extreme length, so if at any point you feel uncomfortable, then you are free to leave and never look back.
