This is NOT Margret. Frankly, I have no clue who this is. I only know her Instagram has pictures of her ass all over it, and that ass is looking fat. Let's admit it, she is a plus-sized model. What makes her appleaing though, is that she loves to cook while bouncing her ass. You know me, if somebody on the internet is showing off their ass, I must go in there and start jacking off. Now, Telescope has done the hard part (pun intended) of hooking us up with not Margret's Telegram. Should we even call her not Margaret? I think her name is Dani something Fuckfaceity, I don't care, I'm only here to jack it o- Wait, who the hell are you? Why are you tugging my balls? Why do you look like Triple-H if he had plastic surgery and drag queen makeup? You want a fight, big boy? Breaking news: ThePornDude has been in a wrestling match with a bearded monstrosity claiming to be Triple-H! Who will win?
I kicked that dude's ass. Anyway, I'm back here now, and from what I can tell, not Margret's Telescope profile looks pretty damn good. I mean, her ass is there, and it's real; she loves showing off those summer dresses. That's enough to make a grown man cry and jack off on the spot. There is no way around it; you either surrender to the coom, or the coom surrenders to you. So, I drooled over her telescope a bit, and heck, remember that drag queen Triple-H guy that I just beat up? Yeah, he's right here too. He's drooling next to me. As a matter of fact, I slapped that motherfucker again, only to remind him that I have a job to do; I am not just dozing off, so he danced his way out listening to Taylor Swift.
That was not the point, though. The point is that I went straight for the kill; I sent this bitch a DM saying, "How much to see that ass bounce in the kitchen?" And at this point, I hope that she's going to take the bait and reply, but you already know how Telescope is; if there is a message option, there is a waiting game that takes place. The waiting game has begun. Who knows how long it's going to take? It can be 30 minutes, it can be an hour, it can be a day; for all I know is that I'll be here waiting for a reply like a good little boy.
Waiting Like A Good Slut
I am conditioned to spend my time wisely now. I'm not going to lie; it literally took her an hour to respond; she was taking her sweet time. I did not sit there counting it. I was off doing my own thing, and I even wrote a whole other review for a different chick. I also visited my good friend Dave from high school, cracked a couple of cold ones, and drew a dick on his chest. He seemed genuinely happy about that. Then I got home, and the reply was still not there. Ten minutes after that whole ordeal, I got a reply from Margret or whatever her name is.
Anyway, she sent me something completely different. I did not ask for this. She literally told me, "I can definitely send you something, but it won't be a custom video of me in my kitchen. I've got another hot video in my slip," blah blah blah, it took you 50 minutes to send me this message? In those 50 minutes, you could have recorded the video I asked you to record. You could have cooked dinner for 10 people and still have time to shoot the porn video that I asked for.
Now come on, darling, you know this is bullshit, and you know that this is not true. I'm betting my kidney and left testicle that she's just too lazy to shoot a video for me, or she just doesn't want to make my fantasies come true. Sadly, she is not in the business of making fantasies come true. Do I have an issue with that? Yes, I do. I don't want people sending me their leftovers and then begging me to buy them. If I ask for something, I want that certain something delivered. You don't go to the store asking for a Diet Coke, only for the cashier to hand you dishwasher soap instead. This is in no way better than what I asked for. Fuck off.
Where Is The Effort?
What I'm trying to say is that I want some effort here; I don't want to spend money on shit that you sent to 10 other simps, all right? My journey continued, and I kept persuading her to send me that custom video. I'm not going to lie; I lost hope after the third message. It felt like telling a depressed emo chick that she is not special because she listens to My Chemical Romance. Margret kept telling me that she is not at home and unable to record the video, which kind of pissed me off. Why even send me your old video? Just tell me when my video will be done so I can fuck off on my merry way. As a matter of fact, the tools in my kitchen are currently gaining extensive knowledge on how to build a warship, and they're trying to hunt me down.
Wait, I need to hide under the table for this one, take a quick break, and listen to my good friend Dave rant about how "gay is okay", which is a stance I fully support him on, but his claims that Tupac is alive and hiding in Thailand? That, I cannot get behind. Anyway, I'm back. I realized that this conversation with NOT margret got me basically nowhere. I did not get the custom video that I wanted, and for the sake of having a good time, I unlocked the scraps that she sent me. They were nice, they were decent, and under any other circumstance, I would say they're great. But the fact that she refused to do what I asked for and sent me something else is unacceptable. That is what I'm mostly pissed about. I'm not fine with the waiting time for her reply; it took her 50 minutes for this shit. I'm done; I'm moving on with my life and doing something different, something valuable, like finally throwing out those dishes that are trying to kill me.
Settle For Scraps
There has to be a conclusion, right? What has my miserable experience with Margret taught us here?
That we should be settling for pre-made content instead of getting custom shit that we are willing to fully pay for. I am not going to play that game. You either respond on time and tell me clearly, "I can't do that kitchen shit, can I do anything else for you?" Or don't do anything at all. I don't want some sugarcoated bullshit, I don't want your pre-made packs.I went into this with high expectations, heck, I even beat up a drag Triple-H for this shit, me and that guy bonded, we drooled over your pictures Margret, and this is what we get? I should have done what that guy did a long time ago – leave dancing to Taylor Swift songs. My life would have been easier now; I would not have to live with disappointment. Instead? I am here complaining like a toddler whose favorite toy has been taken away. You think I want to do this shit Margret? All I want is to stroke my cock to the rhythm of that ass bouncing while you clean your kitchen table. Am I asking for too much here? I have paid big money for more depraved shit in my life. This? This right here is nothing; it doesn't even rank in the top hundred of custom video requests I have wished for.
