Fuq

Fuq.com occupies some prime real estate on the Internet. It’s funny and clever because it’s a creative misspelling of “fuck”, but it’s also a three-letter domain ending with dot-com. Do you have any idea how much something like that is worth? You probably don’t even care. It’s only value to you is how well you can fap to it.

Well, the truth is that the owners of Fuq tube, which looks a lot like iXXX, did us perverts a service by setting up a porno search engine. They could have just parked a couple ads on the domain and called it a day. Even a half-assed sex site at that address would have made bank. Instead, we get a massive, searchable index of more than fifty million dirty movies, all watchable for free. They call it The Place To Be For The Best Porn Videos.

Fifty Fucking Million Fuck Flicks

There are links at the top of the page to view the Most Popular Videos or the New Videos. A look at the New clips gives you an idea how fast Fuq is growing. In the last hour alone, more than 2,000 New clips have been listed on the site. I don’t know how sustainable that kind of growth is, but at that rate they’d add 17 million new clips in a year.

The fact that their catalog is so expansive is easily one of Fuq’s major selling points. They’re pulling videos from a ton of sources. I counted around 150 different websites under the Source filter. Do you want to spend days searching for “blonde blowjob milf facial fist butt threesome” on 150 different websites, or would you rather spend three seconds doing it on one?

In case my example had you wondering, yes, Fuq’s search engine brings up clips for “blonde blowjob milf facial fist butt threesome”. There are eleven of them, from sites like PornHub, Porn.com, and KeezMovies. When you’re looking through a pile this big, it’s easy to find exactly what you’re looking for.

I know all the fine fetish folks are thinking, but what about me? Are my needs met, too? I can’t watch that vanilla stuff, you know, the bukkake gang-bangs and extreme anal fist-fucks. Can I watch some serious deviate shit, like some deviate shitting on another deviate?

Well, the answer to the specific question is no, Fuq.com doesn’t have any scat. The brown stuff is really all they won’t touch, though. You’ll find a pretty wide selection of other kinky fetish videos. They even include sites like FetishPapa and FetishShrine in the search engine. As long as you ain’t looking for literal shit, they’ve got the shit you’re trying to watch while you shellac the shillelagh.

Fuq’s default view includes Gay, Straight, and Shemale porn all mixed together. You’ll almost definitely want to uncheck a couple boxes before searching. I’m sure the demographic who is interested in all three categories is tiny, but I get why they do it. Lumping all three together means they can give you one huge number when they tell you how many clips you can find through their search engine.

Fucking with Fuq

The main page of Fuq has a header with a cartoon of a big-titted blonde smiling and giving you double middle fingers. Well, fuck you, too! Below that is the meat of the site: row after row after row of porn categories, each represented by a still from a movie.

There are 120 categories listed by pic like this, followed by a text list of Popular Porn Categories A-Z. If you can’t find one that gets blood pumping to your penis, scroll down for the link to the full list. That one contains about 1,500 categories, including such deep porno niches as British Skank and Ball Kicking.

Of course, with a list this exhaustive, there’s bound to be some overlap. In the first row of categories, I see Mom and Hot Mom. The women in both pics are smoking hot. The Hot Mom is getting her tits jizzed on, so maybe that’s what they mean. I also see the same grab from the same video representing Busty Teen and Big Tits in the second row.

The screengrab for the Gloryhole category had a chick climbing on a chair, screaming at the sight of a dick emerging from a taped-up hole in the wall. I totally understand her apprehension, given the cock’s the size of her goddamn leg. I needed to see how she handled it, so I clicked it.

When you click on a category, it opens it in a new tab. If you’re like me, this means you end with a dozen tabs in a couple minutes. I prefer to right-click for a new tab. It should be up to me when to clutter up my browser!

I found the clip I was looking for near the top. It’s a ten-minute scene of Kagney Linn Karter eating some BBC from a gloryhole. Clicking the link takes me to Pornicom to watch the video, in yet another tab.

I’m sad to report the dick Kagney performs with isn’t actually as long and thick as her leg. It’s actually just a normal-sized Big Black Cock, so only about the size of her forearm. The girl has a big, hungry mouth.

Since you leave the site to watch videos, you have to go back if you want to search all the sites again. I can’t just click Kagney’s name from the vid to find more of her work since that would only search Pornicom. I have to actually type her name into Fuq’s search bar. No big deal, really, but it’s not as convenient as sites with a central video player.

Fuq’s search engine, just like TubeGalore, includes the typical sort and filter options. You can sort by Popularity, Date, or Duration. The filters are Date Added, Duration, Quality, and Source. Source isn’t as useful as it could be, since you can only choose one website at a time. You may as well just go visit the site instead of searching it from here.

Be Safe, Always Use Protection

In early 2018, you may have gotten a call from your mom about Fuq. Your dad claimed he didn’t have anything to do with it, that he wasn’t looking at naked ladies on the Internet or anything, but suddenly the computer was showing ads for porn and trying to send Internet Explorer to Fuq.com.

While the virus wasn’t the nastiest malware to make its way around the ‘net, it was still a pain in the ass. It still is for some people. I’m sure seeing Fuq’s name on it turned off as many potential users as it turned off.

The thing is, just because the virus told people to go to Fuq.com doesn’t mean Fuq had anything to do with it. It could have been some shady site trying to ruin Fuq’s rep. I couldn’t tell you either way, but that kind of shit happens. This may surprise you, but there are a few people in the fucking-on-video-for-money industry whose morals are a bit loose.

Norton Safe Web says Fuq is safe. You’re not going to catch a virus from the site. Let’s be honest here, if you end up with malicious software on your computer, you were probably doing something that wasn’t quite kosher. That’s just another reason why you should come see me, The Porn Dude, before taking a drive on the porno superhighway.

Sex movies and viruses are a bad match. STD testing is standard practice in the industry for a good reason. Test your goddamn computer, too! Wrap it up with some basic anti-virus and anti-malware software, for chrissake. You should have learned this years ago.

Besides a virus scare that may not even be their fault, and isn’t something you get from the site, I don’t have any real complaints about Fuq (often misspelled as "fuqtube"). It’s annoying that I had twenty tabs open by the time I finished my wrist aerobics, but I didn’t even notice at the time. I was too busy enjoying the massive catalog of hardcore fuck flicks. It’s huge, varied, and free.