WhornyFilms

What’s in a name? Whorny Films offers a lesson in simple but effective pornography branding with some creative misspelling, combining Whore and Horny, two things that already go together as well as peas and carrots, peanut butter and jelly, or penises and pussies. The name tells you exactly what to expect inside while also giving you a better way to remember it than some of the low-effort keyword titles out there. Their traffic is strong, which suggests their strategy is working, but I bet a million bucks the dirty movies are an even bigger part of their winning formula.

WhornyFilms.com hawks premium hardcore smut in a beautifully kinky variety of flavors. The site’s been around for a few years now and has been growing steadily, both in terms of their fanbase and their expanding library of perversion on video. I hate to give a huge spoiler right in the beginning of the review, but I know a lot of you are going to click the link before I can tell you this: they’ve got a whole network of paysites included for one low-ass price. The entry fee ain’t the only thing I’m excited already about, so let’s get into all the reasons I’m so hard right now.

Are You Feeling Whorny?

WhornyFilms doesn’t quite have the same level of recognition as older brands like Brazzers or Naughty America, but the tour page feels every bit like one of the established big-name joints out there. The presentation is polished to a fine sheen, and visitors are greeted with a page-top auto-playing montage of absolute depravity from one of their latest films.

This sure as hell doesn’t look like the work of a new studio just figuring out how to shoot sex. The current preview offers a peek at a classic medical-themed porno, with a handful of gorgeous pornstars getting their pussies and their faces stuffed at the doctor’s office. Every element looks beautiful, from the well-lit, well-framed shots to the clean-ass hospital set, to the utterly gorgeous models, titties jiggling as they receive their health infusions.

There’s a longer trailer if tap the Play button, and that ain’t the only freebie. WhornyFilms.com has plenty of free video trailers for both the curious and the cheap. I took in some samples, including cosplay pornos with characters like Wonder Woman and Catwoman, BDSM lesbian encounters, some ass-fucking with a squirting crescendo, and a whole-ass orgy envisioned with an old-time cathouse vibe.

Whorny Films carries a nice, wide, and hard variety of XXX-rated content. Between the bondage elements and all the butt stuff, it feels at least a little bit more depraved than your average reality porn collection. The production values, though, are far higher than you’d get with your average fetish porn outfit out there. I’m not sure where the hell these guys came from, but they’re not skimping on anything and clearly know what they’re doing.

They shoot with a lot of Euro pornstars, so American fans may not recognize quite as many faces as they would from another casting site coming out of Los Angeles, but I spotted a few. WhornyFilms.com features a nice variety of famous pornstars and rising starlets, and I didn’t spot a single uggo among them. Aletta Ocean, Julia Ann, Kagney Linn, and Alexis Texas are just a few of my favorites off that picture menu of video whores.

Get Your XXX Kicks on the Cheap

There was more than enough excitement out in the Whorny Films tour area to lure me along to the signup page. That’s where I got even more excited. For one thing, membership to WhornyFilms includes access to five different premium porn sites. Feet Delight, Ass Delight, Your Little Slut and Whorny POV are on the menu, as is the original WhornyFilms you thought you were signing up for. Successful porn networks almost always keep expanding, and I expect the same from these guys. I just reviewed another site they launched called Evil Erotic which I’m hoping gets rolled into the network at some point, but in the meantime, give it a peek.

I appreciate a good five-for-one deal whether we’re talking about appetizers, pre-rolls or porn sites, but this one is an even better deal than I thought. It’s a package bundle costing less than your typical singular paysite. The current rate is just twenty bones a month, while the industry standard is about ten bucks more; I charge $30 for PornDudeCasting, as do most paysites. They’ve got sweet deals on longer rates, too, including a yearly plan for a penny under a hundo.

The perks are higher than your average one-off premium joint, too. They’re promising two updates per week, while most of the other guys are just dropping one. Networks like this are usually conservative in their estimates, too. With five sites in the lineup, I think there’s a damn good chance you’ll get more than two updates per week, giving you more reasons to stop by on your daily wank routine.

WhornyFilms.com ain’t the oldest premium porn spot on the block, but they’ve been around long enough and been busy enough to have built a hell of a collection already. As of this writing, there are over 500 Whorny Films in the stash. That’s the number listed out front, but just looking at the video index, I think there’s a lot more.

I Was Whorny, So This is What I Did

The full list of videos at WhornyFilms offers a nice sidebar menu of categories to help zero in on that perfect bit of masturbatory material for your mood. They list the numbers of each video beside each subgenre, which helps give you a sense for just how fucking big this place is. They’ve got nearly 200 threesome movies, almost 400 with big tits, a few hundred tagged with Kink and a whopping 373 that include Teasing. Ass licking, cowgirl, doggy and heels are also wildly popular around here.

I saw a lot of movies I’ll be whacking off to in my free time, but I had some professional masturbation to do first. Since I’d already seen a preview of the very latest film, that ER orgy I mentioned, I figured I’d start with their second-latest drop. Anal Party 2 is a 20-minute group butt-sex movie starring the stunning Sabrina Sweet, whose pretty face and sweet cheeks I couldn’t resist.

It's got another classic porno setup, with Sabrina playing the delivery girl coming by with some takeaway. The shirtless guy tips her a tenner for looking so good in her little skirt, fishnets and bare midriff, plus some a few more bucks on top. The guys want to party, and Sabrina is 100% down. She dances around, shaking her ass and grinding it on the gentlemen, who forget all about their hunger almost immediately. Now, they’re just thirsty as hell.

After a bit of teasing, the cocks come out around five minutes in, and then they go straight into Sabrina’s mouth. The girl puts the Whore and the Horny in Whorny Films, and I was getting just as excited as the dudes on the screen. Everybody involved actually does get a good meal in before they start stuffing her twat and her face at the same time. She diddles herself while they finger cuff her, and then it’s time to slam that butthole.

It's a mouthwatering scene, with top-shelf camerawork to ensure we don’t miss any of the best bits. The eager level of perversion is probably one of my favorite elements: the chick is gorgeous, sexually talented, and man, she ain’t holding back one bit. Downloads are included, so this one is now a part of my permanent collection.

I’d recommend a look at WhornyFilms.com to anybody who loves their porn hard and well made, especially if you’re looking for a deal on high-end filth. The whole network is cheaper than your average paysite, and frankly, the whole place feels a little dirtier in all the right ways. They don’t have quite as many recognizable faces as some of the big American pornography brands, but they more than make up for the lack of star power with incredible fucking, sucking and everything else, captured on video by masters of the craft. They’ve got plenty of free previews, so I’d start there.