Nookies

Did you do it all for the Nookies? That’s kind of a trick question that may or may not reveal your age, depending on whether you immediately envision getting laid or you just hear rap metal in your head. No matter your opinion on late ‘90s rock bands or backwards baseball caps, this next website has plenty to offer anybody who gets a boner looking at beautiful, naked women doing filthy things on camera.

Nookies.com hawks premium porn, which you probably already guessed, but this ain’t your usual one-off paysite. No, this one’s a whole-ass network of porn brands, many of which you’ve already been cranking off to over the years. They get a few thousand visitors a month, which is frankly lighter than I’d expected, but I’m guessing they’ve just been flying under the radar somehow. As we’ll see in a second here, they’re offering a fucking killer bang for your masturbatory buck. Let’s get into it.

Brands You Know, Girls You Love

The copyright date at the bottom of the Nookies front page dates them back to 2008, which is about what I would have guessed. The layout ain’t ugly and you can tell there’s money behind this operation, but it’s a little low-tech compared to some of the flashier modern joints out there. These days, I usually expect an auto-playing montage at the top the tour page, but these guys roll with a pretty nondescript promo image in the header.

While it’s not the high-res video I’d expected, that header graphic does make an important point: membership grants you unlimited access to 19 premium websites. I’ve actually reviewed a bunch of them here at ThePornDude, like Breed Me, MILF AF, Mylked and SheReacts. Speaking from experience, these networks usually keep expanding with time; depending on when you read this, there may be even more big-name porno brands on the menu. (In fact, their promo material ain’t even up to date. They list the number 18 all over the place, but when I figured out it was 19, I had to go back and revise this review!)

You may have already guessed this from the names I’ve mentioned, but there’s an incredible variety of dirty movies included in the package. Even before I’d left the front page, I saw dick-smoking MILFs, 18+ teens with cum on their faces, babes lining up for group sex creampies, and tiny little white girls taking on massive BBC in interracial fuck scenes. Titty fucking, handjobs, anal and masturbation vids are all par for the course.

Those of you who spend much time shaking your dick at your screens will probably start recognizing women immediately. Considering all the established studios they’re working with, it should come as no surprise that the place is crawling with famous pornstars, sexy amateurs and rising starlets. Aaliya Hadid, Cherie Deville, Chloe Temple and Kenzie Reese are just a few of the famous chicks I spotted right away.

And I’m sorry to toot my own horn, but it is kind of my job, after all. Nookies.com has also featured a lot of the same girls who have graced my very own PornDudeCasting couch. Alexa Payne, Madi Collins, Jesse Pony, Mazy Meyers, Jessica Starling and Sophia Locke are just a few of the women we have in common. Between all my friends on screen and all my fans on the other side, I feel like I’m in really good company around here!

Fuck Flicks by the Thousands

How much would you expect to pay for access to 19 different premium porn sites? Well, the going rate for your average paysite has been $30 for years now. That adds up to about $540 a month if you were paying the regular price, but fortunately, they ain’t charging the regular price. Access to Nookies.com will run you the same thirty bones you’d pay anywhere else, with discounts on longer plans. As I type this up, they’re also running a 50% special, and you don’t even have to sign up for a lengthy plan to get it.

The Nookies tour page brags about having $3 million worth of content for a buck a day, though I’m a little curious how they arrived at that three mil figure. Whatever the case, the library is absolutely fucking massive, with over 2,500 exclusive videos in the stash. Sometimes the bigger sites and networks are recycling content from elsewhere, so exclusivity is not a given. That only makes the package here even more enticing.

Nookies doesn’t necessarily update every single day, but they’re releasing so much material that it doesn’t really matter. I’m writing this on a Tuesday and they’ve uploaded a quartet of new scenes today, including fap fodder from TeasePOV and ClubTug. Prior to that, they had a four-day dry streak, but they released 8 movies last week. My standard for paysites is one release per week, so these guys are going way above and beyond.

They want to make absolutely sure you get enough porno, too. When you’re signing in, the member’s gateway area has a shitload of premium deals from different partners they have on the web. As much as I love sites like MYLF, Exxxtra Small and Reality Kings, I really hate getting ads when I’m already paying for porn. There’s plenty of spam on the free tubes if I need any.

Given the massive catalog and the pretty ordinary price tag, I expected some kind of catch. Namely, I was worried they’d block downloads so you couldn’t stock up your hard drive with 2500 full-length fuck flicks. Turns out, I was wrong: downloads are included with the membership, so go ahead and stockpile those MILF handjobs and teenage group scenes.

If I have one complaint, it’s that not all of the sites listed out front are actually included in the package. I noticed JawBreakerz among the brand logos, so I was looking forward to seeing all those pretty girls wolfing down cock as big as their arms. Once I got into the Nookies.com member’s area, I found out that’s actually an add-on. Maybe it’s an honest mistake, but it feels a little sketchy to me.

Who’s Up for Some Nookies?

With over 2500 Nookies movies to choose from, I knew I’d be here all day if I tried to pick the perfect scene for my fap test. To keep it simple, I decided to crank off to one of the most recent scenes added to the collection. That still left me with something of a dilemma: do I continue typing this review with one hand while watching a tugjob, a POV blowjob, a titjob or an 18-year-old gamer girl getting all filled up with dingdong?

Ultimately, I couldn’t resist a recent BreedMe threesome featuring Lily Lane and Nicole Aria. Nicole actually visited me at PornDudeCasting last year and I’ve been fantasizing about her ever since. I couldn’t wait to see her in action again, especially with such a beautiful scene partner.

The 22-minute movie opens in a sperm clinic, with Nurse Lane introducing herself and the doctor to Nicole, who’s been having trouble getting knocked up. (Believe me, I tried!) This clinic has some nontraditional methods, which begin with oral titty inspection by both doctor and nurse. “Are they latchable titties?” asks Nicole.

It's a fun and cheesy scenario, harkening back to the classic days of VHS porno before reality porn took off. Doc motorboats Nicole’s ass during the checkup, and then Lily tests Nicole’s fertility using her tongue. After a lot more taste testing, they proceed with giving Nicole the seed. You can probably guess some of what that entails, but Lily’s also got her pussy in Nicole’s face while Doc’s pumping away.

My dudes, Nookies.com is a verified winner in my book. No shit, this is one of the best deals in premium porn I’ve seen lately. With over 2500 movies from a nice, wide and growing selection of brands, they’re offering a truly incredible bang for your buck. It’s a little spammy for a paysite, but considering the value, I ain’t complaining. In fact, I’m going to wrap up this review so I can dive back into that expansive catalog.