X-Art

XArt! I’m not what someone would consider an X Art fag. Hell, the only time I ever tried going to the museum, I ended up being dragged out by the police after rubbing one out to some classical nudes. What can I say? Paintings of fruit bowls and photographs of architecture bore the hell out of me, but naked ladies always seem to catch my attention. That’s why I was pretty happy to find out X-Art wasn’t your typical fine arts website.

X-Art.com has been around for a while now; the domain was registered way back in 2004 and the site launched several years later. The website is operated by some babe named Colette, a.k.a. colettexart, a.k.a. The Unicorn Princess. According to her profile on the site, she has nearly 140,000 followers. That jives pretty well with the site’s traffic numbers. Last month, they got 1.7 million visits.

Beautiful Erotica for Distinguished Perverts

When I first saw the URL for X-Art, I really had no idea what to expect. I was half expecting some hentai thing or another forum chock-full of My Little Pony erotica. X-Art calls their material “beautiful erotica”, and that’s a description I can get behind. The chicks all over the landing page are indeed beautiful, and the nasty shit they’re getting into is indeed erotic. I better grab a tissue before I get ahead of myself here.

A video montage from a recent movie plays at the top of the screen. It features a couple young, ripe 18+ bitches frolicking in a pool, which naturally leads to raunchy and unrestrained group sex. The color scheme initially led me to believe this was going to be some softcore stuff for ladies, and the lame country music sort of backs that up, but the action is pretty filthy.

Another preview montage loads immediately after that, advertising a four-way in 4K. Clever. The girls go down on each other before helping themselves to mouthfuls of hard cock. By the end of the montage, everyone is completely naked and holes are getting stuffed hard.

So, X-Art ain’t softcore for ladies, but maybe it is hardcore aimed at the ladies. Female-oriented porno tends to have higher levels of passion and sensuality, which these sample clips hint at. The soft, cheesy music adds to that feel. Make no mistake, though. The fucking on display is rough, raw and real. From the looks of the previews, any pervert who likes nasty sex can get off to this.

Regular Updates and a Huge Porn Stash

X-Art’s got a big banner on the front page saying you can sign up with PayPal, but they also accept credit cards like every other premium porn site. By default, they try to get you to sign up for a whole year for a hundred bucks. If you just want a month, that will run you $30, or $40 if you don’t want them to auto-bill you next month. This is all in line with what you’d expect to pay for most any paysite these days.

One of the things I noticed out front was the seemingly endless number of movie thumbnails that load as you scroll down the screen. I was hoping to find a total number of videos available once I got logged in, but it’s still something of a mystery. You can keep digging further and further back into the archive with no end in sight.

X-Art has been updating every few days for some time now. That’s an awesome release schedule for a premium site, and it means they have one hell of a pornographic library on hand. By my calculations, they’ve got at least 1000 movies in the archive right now. That ain’t a bad bang for your buck.

Tons of XXX Videos, Tons of XXX Galleries

The main members' page of X-Art features the newest updates to the site. As mentioned before, they add new content every few days. The schedule doesn’t seem set in stone, with updates sometimes hitting the site several days in a row. However you look at it, you get a shit ton of new material with each month of membership.

Some of you frugal motherfuckers may get your panties in a bunch when you realize that about half of the updates are simply image galleries. The fact that still images are given as much front-page visibility as the videos is more evidence that X-Art may be subtly aimed at masturbators of the fairer sex. As dudes are strapping high-tech sex helmets to their faces in search of the next masturbatory craze, women still love that old-school shit like Literotica and photo galleries.

The most recent update is a gallery of this redheaded chick name Charlie. She shows off her slim, hairless body and shaved muff in a photoset that starts with a light workout and a stretch routine. She’s only wearing a tank top and the tiniest excuse for shorts to begin with, but they quickly disappear as she does some yoga poses and spreads her pussy lips. A vibrator comes out towards the bottom of the set and we get to see what she looks like with an O-face.

Dirty Sex and Cheesy Mom Music

The newest movie on the site, added just a few days ago, is a kinky half-hour romp called Threesome BDSM Love Story. I clicked the Play button and found two hot chicks on a bed with leashes around their necks. They’re making out to some god-awful music. Is that what this site’s gimmick is? Terrible music while people fuck in really dirty ways?

I skipped ahead a couple minutes and the girls were licking each other’s nipples with the bad song still playing. I skipped again, and this time they were giving a dude a double blowjob. The music has fortunately stopped, replaced by the moaning and slurping sounds of two very hungry, very naughty girls. There is minimal buffering while skipping around, so I don’t have to wait to find out what happens next.

The video plays smoothly at 1080p, though I maxed it out at 2160p just to see how good it looks and how well it plays. Most sites aren’t offering this resolution yet, but goddamn, it looks gorgeous. There’s a little bit of stuttering on my connection, but if you’re beating off at work on a commercial connection, you owe it to yourself to try the really high-quality shit. Your boss will understand.

The girls double up on the dude, one riding his face and the other riding his dick. The camerawork is great, switching effortlessly and invisibly between wide shots that show all three players in acrobatic sexual positions and close-ups letting you see every fold of those pussy lips as these gorgeous ladies get pounded.

So, What’s This Site’s Gimmick Exactly?

I really wanted to figure out if there was an underlying theme to the hardcore movies at X-Art. Next, I pulled up a full-length flick called Pool Party for Lovers. It opens with a couple frolicking in a pool. There are a bunch of inflatable pool toys and the babe is naked. Once again, there is completely fucking awful music playing. You will feel like a fat girl in her early thirties is sitting beside you playing with the stereo as you jerk off to these films.

I watched X-Art Pure Nancy Ace next, and sure enough, the stunning blonde stripping and diddling herself as the flick opens does so to the smooth, crappy sounds of some acoustic mom music. The Exciting Games We Play, Sexy Breakfast in Bed, and Little Cindy and Luke Hot Sauna Sex begin with slow, sensual setups accompanied by some adult contemporary music that would go well with a bottle of wine and a good cry with your friends.

The sensual buildups and noticeably passionate sex are the real gimmicks of X-Art, though it’s hard not to notice the music that seems to open every single movie they’ve released lately. The pornography here will appeal to the typical female porn fan more than most paysites will, which is not to say male viewers will get nothing out of it. Anybody looking for a slightly more romantic look at dirty, filthy sex will appreciate what these guys are doing.