Fap Bar

When I saw the link for Fap Bar, I immediately had one thought: holy shit, finally, a place where I can have a couple of drinks and not get kicked out for whipping my dick out. Well, it turns out it’s actually a place on the Internet and not downtown. You can’t buy a beer there, but the good news is that the whole thing was set up for the sole purpose of helping you jack off. Alcohol, cigarettes, fistfights, and surly bouncers are all optional, but there are a ton of gorgeous chicks.

Fap.Bar is a recent addition to the Internet’s sprawling collection of pornography, as you’ll no doubt notice the first time you pull up the site. Its modern-as-fuck design doesn’t fall into any of the usual free porn site categories like video tubes, photo galleries or forums. No, this is an app-style free porn site, designed for easy one-handed fapping to a wide variety of smut. I’ll be honest, I wrote all these sentences and then got a little hypnotized by a perky-titted babe stripping out front, so I’d better hurry up and grind my way through this review before my boner grinds its way through my drawers.

WTF Am I Fapping at?

The very first thing visitors are going to notice about Fap.Bar is their unusual setup, which looks more like an app than a traditional NSFW site. At least, that’s what they’ll notice if they check out the site now, while this review is fresh. I’ve seen a few recent sex sites designed to look like apps--like Fap Bar, Banned Stories and NSFWBomb--and I’m sure we’re going to see a lot more in the future. In a few years, maybe the format will be as popular as tubes or cam sites, and it won’t seem nearly as unusual.

As you may have guessed already, the site is clearly optimized for mobile. I’d estimate about three-quarters of the photos and videos are vertical, typically shot on the very same device people are going to be browsing the site on. There are a few buttons along the edge, though they’re less immediately useful than you might imagine; they actually lead to other websites instead of letting you hit up one of these Instathots or pornstars.

The most useful button, besides the link to your ol’ buddy ThePornDude, is the download button. Yes, ladies, gentlemen and perverts, despite Fap Bar’s ultra-modern appearance, they still keep it old-school by letting you save whatever you want. Many paysites won’t even let you do that these days, making it a real perk.

Users can swipe up or swipe down to move to the next shower blowjob scene, amateur POV shot or cosplay cutie in a purple wig and elf ears flashing her twat at the camera. If you’re browsing the site on your laptop or work computer, hit the up or down buttons to flip through the material. This is a good feature that future imitators would be wise to copy; Fap.Bar looks and feels like a mobile app, but works well on any machine.

Social Media Sluts, Pornstars and Amateurs

When I first landed at Fap.Bar, I saw a nice-looking petite chick wearing nothing but a skimpy t-shirt and a pair of panties. She hopped a little, made her boobies bounce, and then took her top off to expose those perfect little jugs. After 10 seconds or so, the loop repeated. (That’s the girl I mentioned in the opening, who added a good 20 minutes to my review time but left me feeling satisfied.)

I swiped the screen and saw a naked babe on a shower floor, soaking wet and aggressively pounding her own cunt with a dildo. Another swipe and I got a POV blowjob shot of an amateur bleach blonde with her roots showing. The next swipes brought me a PAWG twerking in leggings before exposing her whale tail, Abella Danger getting her brains fucked out, and a cute goth girl making her clothes come off at the snap of a finger.

While I wrote the last couple paragraphs, a big-titty (18+)teen in a bra and panties played with her hair in a bathroom mirror. After a few seconds, she pulls her bra up, letting her fucking enormous, beautiful titties drop out before the loop repeats. There’s a really wide variety of sexy content on Fap.Bar, mostly amateur.

I spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering where Fap Bar got its material. The funny thing is, it’s actually written right at the bottom of each post, or at least the subreddit and poster’s username are. The site draws its collection from the vast well of perversion at Reddit.

I get a lot of mileage around here making fun of Reddit’s assorted weeaboos, neckbeards, incels and virgins, but the truth is they have a fucking thriving amateur porn community. Any amateur site lives or dies on its userbase, and Reddit has 60 million visitors a day. That massive throng of humans means two things on a site devoted to basically everything: there’s going to be a ton of porn, and there’s going to be all kinds of it.

There’s plenty of professional, big-budget porn loops in the Fap.Bar library, though it skews heavily toward the homemade stuff. If you’re looking for something in particular to get your boner going, check out the dropdown menu at the top. There are filters to let you sort through categories like Anal, Asian, Taboo and Feet. Crank it to BBW or POV movies, Hentai or Hardcore. There are even Gay and LGBT sections if you’re into that queer stuff.

And Uncensored Hentai Too?

I switched up the filter to check out the Fap.Bar hentai collection, which I already knew was going to be huge since they’re pulling smut from Reddit. Honestly, I’m a little surprised I didn’t see any big-eyed cartoons getting their breasts milked or their pussies fucked by tentacles while I was flipping through the naked amateurs.

The first few shots I saw under hentai were relatively tame: still drawing of groping lesbians, dripping-wet girls in bathing suits, a teen with pink hair and pink eyes flashing her boobs from a pink bikini, followed by a pink-skinned anime girl who didn’t even bother to show us anything.

And then there it was, the weird shit I was looking for. A CG babe who looked like Milla Jovovich dressed as Tomb Raider was on her stomach in an alley, a big-ass dog aggressively banging her from behind. She’s got a huge Rambo knife in her hand, but instead of stabbing the horny beast, she just lets those dog balls smack against her until Scooby busts a big load of dog jizz.

That was followed by a Jesus-themed dick-sucking anime nun caption, Daphne tasting Velma’s pussy, and a futanari showing her big rack and monster cock. Oh, and when I finally found that tentacle sex I was looking for, it was Sailor Moon and a couple of Sailor Scouts getting their legs spread and their buttholes prodded by a bunch of slimy, snaky things.

Next-Gen Porn for Modern Bus Stop Masturbators

Fap.Bar is a next-generation free porn site, so I’m not really surprised they have a next-gen approach to monetization. Even with my spam blocker running, I did see some ads while I was swiping through amateur chubby girls, exhibitionist teens and cartoons of girls getting fucked by animals. They weren’t the typical popups or banner ads you get with most free tubes, though.

Every so often, while swiping through porn, an affiliate offer for a paysite like Brazzers appeared. You can’t swipe them away quite as easily as swiping to the next porn loop, you have to click Close, but I didn’t feel they were overly intrusive. They’re definitely a step up from pop-unders, and not a bad trade for all the free porn and convenient delivery.

Tons of free porn and convenient delivery are the name of the game at the Fap Bar. I’m genuinely impressed by their app-style design, which makes it easy as hell to jerk off to your phone with one hand. The ads are a small price to pay for the sheer volume of mouthwatering amateur content, and it’s a lot more immediately accessible than digging directly into Reddit’s archives when you’re so horny you can barely see straight. Check this out on your next bathroom break.