Old Nanny

I wonder how many parents have pulled up OldNanny.com, looking for a nice, sexless older woman to come look after the offspring during the day. The elderly bitches on the front page look almost grandmotherly, what with the gray hair, wrinkles, and whatnot. The thing is, I don’t remember seeing grandma with her big tits out when she used to serve me cookies. These women look more like the creampie sort, if you want to talk sweets.

OldNanny has been putting out mature and granny porn for a decade now, building a steady following of grandmotherfuckers eager to see these ancient bags get a stiff poking. Your grandma is disappointed that you never call her, but these geriatric whores get about half a million visits a month. Maybe it’s because they have a whole lot more to offer than stale crackers and lectures about Jesus.

Who’s Up for Some Granny Porn?

There’s an old bitty at the top of the front page staring at the camera while some dude gropes her giant boob. If you’re looking for MILFs and soccer moms, you came to the wrong place. While most perverts can get off to a movie about a cougar getting all her holes stuffed, the ladies here are old enough to make this true niche pornography. This is for grandma enthusiasts who like their pornstars really fucking old!

If that’s what you’re into, they certainly make an excellent case for signing up for a membership. They shoot gorgeous mature women, wives, and grandmas in exclusive HD movies, released every Tuesday and Friday. Unlike a lot of other premium porno sites these days, OldNanny includes downloads with the standard membership plan.

“But what about the videos?” It’s a fair question. Nobody wants to sign up for a granny porn site just to find some gray hairs knitting socks with their tops off. You want to see old bitches get really down and nasty, don’t you? Well, have you seen the video on the preview page?

The site seduces potential masturbators with a montage from the OldNanny Network. I was so distracted by all the wrinkled meat in this market that I hadn’t even realized access includes a bunch of different older women paysites.

And what a montage! I see BBW beauties massaging their old twats with power vibrators and getting drilled by young 18+ studs. There are saggy titties galore, bouncing as broads get banged from every angle. I see a younger 18+ lesbian working over a cunt old enough to have given birth to her mom, and even a BDSM scene with grandma all tied up in a scene that would certainly bring shame to the family. Don’t mention it at Christmas dinner.

Thumbnails from recent and upcoming network flicks are displayed below, and it’s more of the same kind of old lady perversion. Do you want mature lesbians, old sluts, old amateur bimbos, and wrinkled whores? You want to see grandma getting pounded from behind or sucking a young 18+ dude’s dick? Well, step right up, you fucking pervert!

Pinch a Penny, See Granny’s Pussy

Membership to the OldNanny network includes eight exclusive premium porn sites devoted to the old-timers who gave birth to your dad’s generation. I’m talking about havens of perversion like Aged Love, USA Wives, and EuropeMature. There’s LatinChili for fans of spicy old Latinas, and you bondage freaks are going to love what’s going on over at Frenzy BDSM.

The regular price for a month of access to the network is around 36 USD. That’s a few bucks more than your typical premium adult membership, but you’ve got to figure, this is deep-niche porno. You can usually expect to pay a little extra when you’re looking for something so specific and so hard to find. Besides, after all grandma did for you, don’t you think she is worth that extra handful of spare change?

When I checked out the site, they had a countdown deal offering a month for 25 bucks. You can also score a lower rate if you’re willing to shell out for three, six, or 12-month subscriptions. If you’re a big baller with an insatiable lust for old ladies, OldNanny also offers a lifetime membership for just 500 bones.

(Incidentally, the human body starts with about 270 bones. As you watch these nursing home escapees getting pounded from every angle, try to guess how many original bones each grandma still has, and how many young bones she’ll swallow on camera.)

Watching Grandma Really Get Down and Dirty

I checked out the site just as they added a new clip. A lot of porn sites hit you with fancy movie titles, elaborate plots, and fantastical setups. Not so with OldNanny. The newest flick is simply called Pussy Licking and Blowjob Prelude of Hardcore Mature Sex and opens with an old lady already topless and getting felt up. By the 30-second mark, dude already has his tongue in her ass crack and is going to town.

Just look at that shit-eating grin as the dude pulls his face away from her pooper. This guy is absolutely thrilled to be there! Grandma is loving it too, immediately offering to show him some of her other parts. They kiss passionately, the vibe already hot and heavy.

There’s a total amateur vibe to the affair, and I wonder if these old perverts are genuine swingers who get down like this on the regular. There’s no hesitation, each participant eager to get off and please the other one. Grandma’s a stone-cold deviate, with fetish boots laced up to her thighs and a pierced pussy.

The stud thoroughly eats her twat before giving her a taste cock. It looks like Granny really loves the flavor. He sticks her from behind briefly before going back to his taco dinner. Everything looks crisp enough, but the resolution is nonadjustable in the bare-bones video player.

While I couldn’t figure out how to adjust the streaming video, the downloads are offered in 720p, 1080p, and a smaller mobile format. There’s also a Gallery button, leading to a ton of still shots for you old-school masturbators who like photographs.

Old Pornstars on an Old Website

The metadata beneath each video is decent, making it relatively easy to browse the extensive catalog of grandma porn at OldNanny. The models and individual websites are all indexed very cleanly and efficiently, with a bunch of tags denoting the particular sex acts.

It’s pretty standard stuff, but maybe I was surprised about how well they did it because the website does feel old. I don’t mean just because the sluts taking all be cock are in their sixties and seventies, but because the age of the website really does show. The layout is outdated, almost ugly when compared to modern premium sites.

The outdated layout is mostly just a visual thing and probably shouldn’t get in the way of your masturbation session. That said, I did have a couple of issues with the video player and wondered if it was related to the overall outdated design of the site. The video preview out front was very jerky, stopping and stuttering as it displayed grandmas eating cock for every meal. I also had a random error while trying to skip to the middle of a different movie and had to refresh the page.

The issues seem pretty trivial. After all, I didn’t have too much trouble watching old ladies acting like horny, hormone-raging teenagers. Still, the problems with OldNanny would probably spell death for a typical vanilla porn site. These guys have been hanging around because they offer something that’s relatively rare, even in the supersaturated world of online pornography.

OldNanny.com has some presentation issues, but I doubt that’s going to stop any of you grandma lovers from dipping your shriveled dingdongs into the stash. The network has been around for a decade because they know exactly what appeals to fans of granny sex and crank that material out on a very regular basis. They’ve got a cheap trial for a couple of bucks, so check it out if you find yourself fantasizing about having sex parties at the nursing home.