Damn, crazymonstercock.com already smells like trouble! If there’s one asshole on this planet who really gets what a goddamn crazy monster cock is, it’s me. I’m walking around with a full-blown anaconda stuffed down my knickers, fighting gravity and common sense every damn day. The chicks are intimidated by the dong double the size of their head. A blessing and a curse. Totally fucked if you’re not ready.
In any case, I can't wait to see what crazymonstercock.com is yapping about. Who has a monster cock and what it does with it?! Let's find out.
The cock seems to be black
It's my first time here. I load the motherfucker and the first thing I see is the picture collage. It's supposed to tell us what the site is all about. Cool idea, shitty execution.
The picture looks like it was left in the sun for too long and then stretched across the screen like someone yanked it by the balls. You really gotta see this shit to understand it. Too fucking bad, because if it wasn’t so warped and fucked up, it might’ve actually worked.
I find the About Us right below the picture shitshow. The site seems to be run by a dude. Fucking bravo! He is a Brazilian pornstar named Kid Bengala and his mission in life is to find white sluts ready to fuck his monster black dick. He describes his dong as this extremely huge tool that stretches cunts and turns assholes into gaping holes. Ok, so it's about a huge cock and interracial fucking. Not bad. Now, let me try to stream something here. Stay around.
New movies daily
I know you like the anonymity and shit, and you want my reviews to sound eternal, but it’s Christmas today. Yeah, 25th fucking December! I’m writing a review while Kid Bengala is uploading new motherfucking movies. The only two assholes working today. That’s probably why Jesus blessed us both with huge fucking dicks. Fucking insane!
It's hard to admit, but Kid beat me in this game. I plan on writing three reviews today, but he has already uploaded over 10 new fuck movies to crazymonstercock.com. He fucking wins.
These multiple daily uploads mean that crazymonstercock.com never sleeps. It means the site keeps getting bigger and more diverse, and it simply means you won't have to wank off to the stale videos, unless you really want to. That adds insane value to the motherfucker. Bravo! Hats down.
I actually see two dicks
Up until this moment, I thought that crazymonstercock.com featured only one cock. That BBC I was yapping about earlier. Now I spot some white dude throwing his dick around too, and that means I really gotta start streaming this motherfucking shit.
The latest motherfucking video features some MILF in black lingerie, Phoenix Marie, and some white dude whose cock I still don’t even know. I sure fucking know Phoenix Marie! We all fucking do!
I click and crazymonstercock.com takes me straight to the paywall. What?! Not a single goddamn preview! The good news is that it's only now that I realize crazymonstercock.com belongs to a porn network. Damn, should’ve handled that shit way earlier. Let me deal with the prices, one step at a time, and finally get down to the bottom of this motherfucking shit.
About the prices
Three options for you to choose from. You have monthly access with the price of $29.95. The price of the 90-day plan is $49.99, and you have the 180-day membership currently priced at $89.95. You can pay with epoch, credit card, or crypto. All neat shit.
As a member of crazymonstercock.com, you gain access to 105+ sites. Goddamn, I really gotta find out what the hell those websites are! The network promises over 500K high-quality pictures and screencaps, 100% exclusive content, discreet billing, and 10K+ movies. The members get unlimited streaming and downloading as well as 24/7 customer support. All good shit.
First off all, when you have a porn network with over 10K movies, all ready for streaming and downloading, the prices start to look ridiculous. Saying the prices are a bargain is a serious understatement. It's a symbolic price you have to pay to unlock this absolutely massive beast of a website. Now let me go back to crazymonstercock.com and try to find more info.
You can tell it's a paysite
The motherfucker looks superb. The background is this mix of black and red, with slutty pictures in the back. The thumbnails pop against the background, but they don't show any previews. Nada. That's kinda disappointing, especially when you combine that with the fact that the videos don't come with official trailers. You either choose to trust crazymonstercock.com or find something more transparent. What can I say?!
Overall, crazymonstercock.com is a niche porn site, if that kind of shit can even be said. It has the focus on big cocks, and I fucking approve. Finally, a porn site focusing on the male performers instead of on those cunts who keep stealing our spotlight! The males do all the hard work anyway. If a hoe is wet and she looks horny, we are happy. I mean, how many times have you seen the name of the male pornstar anywhere below a video? Barely fucking ever. That’s exactly why I dig crazymonstercock.com so damn much.
Lengthy videos in HD
I head to the BigCock Movies section. That’s where you can sort the list by most popular, most popular, by name, or by title. Not fucking bad. The most recent upload is that Phoenix Marie flick. It's spiced up with her lingerie and that relentless white cock that keeps ramming her holes. It's all HD, exclusive, and it goes on for about 40 minutes. It was already viewed by over 16K people, even though it's new. Just thought you should know.
Now, about the most popular vids. Right now, the most popular video is the one uploaded to crazymonstercock.com two years ago, with around 17K views. The scene is a blowjob, about 27 minutes long, and it features this blonde who sucks a massive white dong while playing with the balls.
Spot number two goes to this SkinnyTrinity bitch dealing with a black cock double the size of her head. She can barely fit that dong inside her mouth. Her eyes water and she slobbers all over it. Once it's nicely sucked and wet, she takes it for a ride. The third place award goes to another interracial scene featuring Heidi Maybe, a petite blonde, and another massive BBC.
Really now, the cocks are fucking monstrous, and when a man who sees an anaconda each time he goes to piss says something like that, you know it's true. The dicks are so big they look like they were fucking welded to the bodies of the male pornstars, and when that’s the case, you know the videos are hardcore as motherfucking hell. These sluts give their best to place those meats inside them holes, moan while they get stretched to the moon and back, so yeah, crazymonstercock.com really is worth the money.
The porn network really deserves it
Damn, crazymonstercock.com! Where the hell do I even start? First off, this motherfucker looks badass, but I can't get over the no-previews deal. I just can't. When you are paying for porn, it's frustrating not to be able to see a tiny glimpse of the action beforehand. If you can swallow that and you make the payment, you unlock a seriously big adult network.
You get access to 105+ sites, over 10K movies, 500K pictures and screencaps, all HD, exclusive, and hardcore. As a member, you get unlimited streaming and downloading, as well as the 24/7 customer support and discreet billing. The daily updates mean the site never fucking sleeps. You’ll never have to jerk off to stale videos unless you’re some sad motherfucker who likes the same shit over and over.
Finally, a porn site that actually focuses on the male performers! The guys are the stars here, and honestly, that’s good news for any alpha dude. These males are the goddamn stars here! Meanwhile, the women are just wet holes getting stretched, just as it should be. When you take all of that into consideration, you'll realize that crazymonstercock.com is laughably cheap.
This site knows what’s important, and that would be big dicks, relentless fucking, and men finally getting their spotlight. For an alpha like me, that’s good shit. Pay the money, get the access, and enjoy watching the nastiest cocks on the planet wreck sluts in every way possible. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
