r/FartFetishExperiences! Admit it; some of you stroking sons of bitches love when a chick talks dirty out of her south mouth. These fetishes just keep getting fucking worse, and I don’t say that in a judgmental way. But let’s be honest, we went from anal to being so obsessed with assholes that now scat and fart porn is a thing. I’m sure we can all understand why anal is so loved, but you fuckers should see some of the shit I’m seeing these days.
Last night, I saw a chick fart four cumloads out of her stretched-out hole straight into another bitch’s mouth. It gets worse — the cum catching cumslut licked the rest right off her asshole that was falling out. I could’ve sworn I saw a little brown spot, too. This is how far I’ve gone. Like Markus Dupree said in Mark Spiegler’s documentary, Patron of the Tarts, “I’m completely fucked up. You know, I’m completely sick. But I’m not a bad person.” As for you fart-loving fuckers, I don’t think you’re bad people, either.
Somewhere along the line of your life, farts stopped smelling like sulfur and turned into fucking roses. And I think a big part of it comes from the idea that even the grossest things from the hottest chicks ain’t that bad. You can’t tell me that you don’t wonder what Abella Danger’s backdoor pucker percussion sounds or smells like. I don’t sit there and think about it, but when it crosses my mind — yeah, I’ll admit that I’d like to know for research purposes.
But for some of you horny bastards, farts are a full-on fetish. You sit there and look up hot chicks letting it rip, scat, or worse, you go on Reddit and find like-minded individuals who share your passion for flatulence. If that’s you, you’re in luck, motherfuckers. Today, I’d like to introduce you all to r/FartFetishExperiences. This is a subreddit where wankers just like you join together and discuss real fart stories that’ve actually happened — not fucked up fantasies. Here’s what you wankers can expect when you join!
Real girls and guys sharing real fart stories
This mod is really fucking serious about farts. In fact, the second you join, you’re met with the rules, with the biggest one being that these posts have to be about real people and real farts. They put in all caps that fantasies are unacceptable, along with shaming or any taboos. That means anything you see here has actually fucking happened. It does make you wonder, though — are church girls really letting out a church house creeper in the middle of a service?
One of the first posts I saw was some dude going on and on about some chick at his church who crop-dusted him. He basically wrote a fucking book on how glorious it was to bless his nostrils that Sunday, and how she thought it was hilarious. I guess those church people really are trying to bring heaven to earth, but I never thought it’d come in the form of a big brown cloud. But that wasn’t the only one that caught my eye. Another one was a girlfriend talking about her obsession with her ‘boyfriend’s stink.’
In this particular post, there was a thot who couldn’t stop ranting about her boyfriend’s butt blowing kisses at her. Well, let me back up for a minute; she started off talking about her own farts. Specifically, her boyfriend had a thing for her period farts, because apparently, she gets really gassy during her time of the month. She talks about her body turning into a ‘haunted trumpet’ during her period, and how her boyfriend gets extra clingy — almost too clingy, but she loves it.
Long story short, one night her stomach was gurgling, and he offered to help her relieve her by squeezing her in a tight hug and pushing on her stomach. She called it a ‘full-on colon massage.’ She warned him that she was going to fart if he kept doing it, and he responded, “It’s okay.” Eventually, she let a few farts rip, and she claimed that she felt him get hard several times. She then asked the subreddit if she was a fart goddess, and of course, the community happily agreed that she was. One dude said, “I love my wife’s farts,” while another said that he sounds like an “insatiable sniffer.”
There are dozens of stories just like that, maybe even hundreds. Some of them include hot yoga farts, tasting girlfriend farts, beer farts, discoveries of girlfriends selling farts, lactose intolerant farts, farts during blowjobs — you fucking name it. By now, you fart lovers should feel right at home here. But I’m not finished yet. Now that you know a little bit more about the types of fart scenarios these members share from their personal lives, here’s a little bit more about the origins of this group and the rules you should be aware of before joining!
Over 13K members and 100+ contributors
r/FartFetishExperiences was created on May 4, 2020. The force was definitely strong on this day, and years later, thousands of others joined the fart side — 13,000 to be exact. Currently,
over 100 members are weekly contributors, sharing their fart fetish stories for the world to mentally masturbate to, or to actually masturbate to (which wouldn’t surprise me at all). The head fart hunter (the moderator) here goes by u/Naughty_frenchie, and I’m not saying that the French stereotypes are true about bad smell, but I’m also not going to say that I’m fucking surprised.
I didn’t see any other mods, but it seems like this motherfucker runs a tight ship. Like I said earlier, he makes it very clear that all of these fart stories have to be real. You can almost hear the anger through the text that he’s not fucking around when it comes to fake stories — he won’t stand for it, goddammit! So, if you plan to troll his fart paradise, you perverts are going to get banned. Don’t ruin the only good thing going for this poor motherfucker. Surprisingly, the fart lord doesn’t have a whole list of rules besides what’s in the subreddit summary. But keep in mind, if you don’t follow them, he will kick your ass out.
Here are the current rules:
1. As I mentioned, if it’s not a real experience, don’t post that shit here. With a nose this good, the mod can sniff out bullshit. Just make sure it’s a true story, and keep it fart-related.
2. No fiction, fantasies, or dreams. It goes back to rule one; this dude can’t stress enough that this better have fucking happened so that he can live vicariously through you lucky bastards who’ve been blessed with such disgusting experiences.
3. No shaming, no taboos, but family stories are welcome. Yeah, this dude’s a freak — not shaming, but what the fuck? I’d like to know what this dude considers ‘taboo.’
4. No research announcements — you’ll eat a ban. You’re not a statistic in this subreddit; you’re a fart-loving family.
5. No spamming, no meet-ups, and no exclusive content promoting allowed, even if you’re a fart-fetish creator. To this mod, farts are not for sale.
The pros and cons of r/FartFetishExperiences
I think one of the obvious things about r/FartFetishExperiences is that it ain’t for everyone. But if you’re still reading this, you’re probably interested in farts to an extent, and it might be worth joining to see all of these nasty-ass stories. The moderator is a dictator with a love for air coming out of the derrière, and he doesn’t let any bullshit stories fly on his watch. Plus, you’re getting over 13,000 members who also share the same fart fetish, along with 100+ weekly contributors. That’s pretty much all this subreddit has, my dudes.
Now, there are two things I have to bitch about that I think you fuckers won’t like, either. For the record, I’ve never watched fart porn unless it was for research purposes or some hardcore video like I was mentioning earlier. Chicks just letting it rip? That shit ain’t for me, even if I have wondered if it’s true about big booty bitches having loud farts. I’d rather just watch them stretch their assholes, honestly — no farts needed. Of course, I know shit happens, but that’s another story. My two big cons — no photos or videos.
I’m not saying that these people are lying, but wouldn’t it be nice to see these thots actually farting? I’m sure all you wankers would be down to see that shit. Plus, many of these stories are posted about significant others. What’s stopping them from proving how loud those rumbly rumps are? Maybe it’s just me, but stories can only do so much for my dick when I’m used to seeing hardcore porn videos. Of course, I know there are other groups for that shit, but there’s nothing like a damn good story and a visual. Who knows, maybe that shit will change in the future.
Visit r/FartFetishExperiences for more!
I could sit here and bitch about a lack of photos and videos, but at the end of the day, that’s not what this subreddit is about. But you horny bastards know me; I’m always going to want to see some ass, whether there’s air coming out of it or not. All in all, it’s not my thing; I’d rather go back to watching anal acrobatics. But I’ll admit, I was genuinely entertained reading some of these ridiculous scenarios. True or not, it just goes to show that we all have some weird-ass fetishes that we used to keep to ourselves.
But these days, we’re all just trying to connect with like-minded individuals. You can thank Reddit and mods like the one who runs this subreddit for giving you gooners a place to unite for your love of farts. That said, I hope you horny bastards enjoy reading these fart stories. And if you have your own, share them here on r/FartFetishExperiences, and I’m sure you’ll make the mod and members cream their fucking pants. Enjoy, and as always, happy fapping, fuckers!
