Good Spanking Classics! You have to dig spanking to dig goodspankingclassics.com, especially girls spanking girls. No dicks here. That’s the first thing you gotta get straight before you waste a second of your time.
The second thing, and this shit’s serious, is that goodspankingclassics.com doesn’t hand out its freaky goodies for free. Yup, you'll have to pay, and that means I'm gonna give it a proper, detailed review, so you cheap fucks don't end up whining about paying for shit that doesn't get you hard. Let's do it!
Looks clean and filthy at the same time
Goodspankingclassics.com rocks a white background, which is not that usual for a fetish site. However, the logo fits the theme. I always like to see a good logo. It helps the site stick to your brain, gives it balls and personality, so props for that. It shows two chicks, one spanking the other, and honestly, that’s all you need to know about goodspankingclassics.com. Picture says a thousand words, they say, and it fucking does.
Thumbnails don't show any previews, which is fucking lame, as well as those cryptic video titles like Poetic Justice and Therapy. Like, that shit is supposed to tease you and make the site sound all posh with those tier-four titles, but, let's be real, most motherfuckers coming to wank off to goodspankingclassics.com aren’t exactly fucking Einsteins. Well, I guess that's why you have me. Let's see what that Poetic Justice bullshit is all about. Stay tuned.
Ready when you are
That Poetic Justice deal looks vintage. Yeah, I say vintage instead of fucking obsolete! I happen to be in a good mood, and to be honest, the huge description below the video made me stop and think. When a site busts its balls this hard to show its filthy shit, it damn well earns some slack.
You have this professor Catherine Whitney, and the oversexed nerd chick named Kelly Ashton. You also have this Sara chick and some Eve Ellis babe. I don't want to deal with that shit right now. To be honest, every chick gets spanked here. Kinda hectic, but I manage to realize that Sara spanks Catherine. I mean, I'm fucking sorry, but If you’re looking for a refined, posh story, go fuck yourself! This is naked asses spanking, all chicks, so keep your expectations in check!
Since the description is fucking hectic, I fire up the trailer. It's pretty damn long, showing me everything I want to see. It features these two blondes, both MILFs, both hot as hell, and wearing black lingerie. They spank each other on a couch, but that's not important.
The video is fucking vintage! You can tell by the natural tits, big hair, and the overall quality of the video. Sure, vintage shit is always more valuable because it's rare, but the video quality makes it feel like I'm watching it all through a cum-stained fish tank. Goddamn. I just hope I get used to that shit.
Around 250 videos in total
Yeah, I go back to the homepage and focus on the videos. In total, you are looking at around 250 videos. I mean, I've seen better, not gonna lie. Sure, goodspankingclassics.com is a fetish site, focused on rare and vintage spanking footage, but I expected more. Also, the updates don't seem that regular. Looks like you'll be wanking off to dusty clips, but if that was a problem, you wouldn't be fucking here, reading about vintage porn, so maybe I should just shut the fuck up.
I check out the "latest" video, uploaded to goodspankingclassics.com many months ago, and give my best to stop thinking about the dates and shit. It's another f/f spanking session. This time it’s Courtney and Julie. Courtney gets her ass spanked because she talks shit about Julie’s comics, and honestly, Julie sounded more like a subby little cunt. I guess even the best of us get fooled sometimes.
In any case, the trailer is lit. It's kinda lame that Courtney doesn't get naked during the spanking, and that it's all grainy once again, but it's a good movie. Definitely not easy to find anywhere else on the web. Vintage porn is considered valuable for a reason, you know. Most of the shit online now is polished bullshit, so when you stumble across classics, it’s a good day. You gotta appreciate the rarity! If you don't, you have nothing to do on a site that calls itself goodspankingCLASSICS.com, for fuck's sake!
Four membership plans to choose from
If you want to unlock goodspankingclassics.com for a whole month, you'll have to pay $20.99. That's the price of the recurring option. If you want the monthly plan, one-time purchase, you'll have to pay $22.99. The price of the 90-day membership is $49.95. Finally, you have the 180-day plan priced at $79.95.
If you have ever paid for porn or thought about it, you'll realize that goodspankingclassics.com is way cheaper than its competitors. I respect that. It's a sane thing to do.
First of all, the stash is kinda small. I mean, 250 vids is not exactly big-dick energy. Then, the videos are not HD. That's the standard in the xxx industry nowadays, at least among the paysites. Also, vintage porn is a kink on its own, and when you combine it with female spanking, it becomes even more kinky. Not everyone is gonna like goodspankingclassics.com. That's easy to understand.
I love the attention to details
I focus on one of the pictures here. It shows this dark-haired MILF and her blonde sub, but that's not the point. What catches my eye are the pictures hanging on the wall behind them. Even those fucking pics show hands smacking asses and women curled up in fetal positions like they’re getting the shit kicked out of their bare cunts.
You can't find that shit in modern porn. It all looks like it's happening on the same couch, all generic and shit, fake tits and all. Well, you don't get that staged feel here on goodspankingclassics.com, even though the details are insane. You can tell that the chicks love what they do, and that the people who made the movies actually gave a fuck.
I'm not gonna turn into a grandpa now and start explaining how things used to make sense in the 80's and 90's, but you have your damn eyes. You cum to your own fucking conclusions. All I know is that, the more time I spend here, the more I appreciate it. Goddamn.
Nothing but natural hoes
Yeah, yeah, the babes are not naked, at least not fully, and nobody gets ass fucked here. I’m sure, at some point, I would have gotten bored of goodspankingclassics.com and gone back to my hardcore gangbang videos, but that doesn’t mean this site is shit. It’s got its own goddamn charm.
That shit lies in the content type and the models. The videos are classics, all vintage and rare, and the babes are natural. That's because it all takes place in the years where silicone tits weren't really a thing. On the other hand, I didn't see a single hairy bush on goodspankingclassics.com, at least not yet.
The models list is a nice filtering tool, but only if you have a model preference. I fucking don't, and I sure don't recognize a single cunt here on goodspankingclassics.com. Still, goodspankingclassics.com comes equipped with other basic filtering tools that are sure to help to find your way around. At the end of the day, goodspankingclassics.com is not exactly a big site, so navigation shouldn't be a problem.
Final thoughts
If you’re NOT into spanking, naked asses, and grainy vintage kink, then go fuck yourself right now! Goodspankingclassics.com isn’t here to hand you shiny HD bullshit with perfect tits. This shit is all about old-school spanking porn where the chicks actually give a damn and the people filming this weren’t too busy jerking off to care about fake setups.
Yeah, the stash is kinda small, but these aren't modern porn clips. They’re rare, vintage classics. The videos are grainy as hell, sure, like you’re watching them through a cum-stained fish tank, and nobody’s getting fucked in the ass, but that’s exactly the point. That’s part of the freaky charm.
The babes aren’t all naked, but you’ve got MILFs, blond subs, dark-haired disciplinarians, blondes, subs, dommes, redheads, and who knows what else. These chicks love what they do, and it shows in every squirm and gasp. Sure, the site isn’t huge, navigation is simple, and yeah, updates aren’t regular, but if that’s a problem, you wouldn’t be reading this anyway.
The prices are totally reasonable. That's a huge plus. I mean, at the end of the day, goodspankingclassics.com isn't for everyone. It’s grainy, it’s small, nobody’s taking massive dickloads in the ass, but it's fucking unique. Take it or leave it!
