Hola, motherfuckers! It's the Dude again, and that means you're in for another masterpiece! I'll be writing about femdomup.net/video/joi/ today, and if you’ve got two brain cells left, you probably know JOI means jerk-off instructions. It's a sort of a dominating game where a hoe bosses you around and tells you how to hold your own cock, so if that sounds like a plan, stick around.
A couple of ups and a couple of downs
I fire the motherfucker up, and the first thing I see are the 1080p signs. That's always a good start. I also see this combo of white and blue, like we are about to jerk off to an online sperm clinic, but it's not that ugly. I can see some pretty lengthy videos, which is also a good fucking start, but I also see an absolute shitload of ads that just won't leave me alone. That's a fuck-up.
I’m trying to slap away those bastard pop-ups, but next thing I know, I’m getting tossed around from page to page like a rag doll. I get redirected so many fucking times I completely lose the original site along the way. That’s some straight-up bullshit, and yeah, that crap’s heading right into the TPD hates pile, no question.
Still, I guess all those shitty ads are the price you pay for free porn. Beggars can’t be goddamn choosers, even if it means your browser’s getting gangbanged by pop-ups.
Nika Venom in a crisp porn flick
Since the motherfucker’s stuffed with so many goddamn ads, I’ve gotta reload the page like three fucking times just to get a clean shot at a video. It’s like I’m in some digital race, trying to outsmart this cunt of a site before it blows another ad load all over my screen. I have to be quicker than the ads surge, and that's a pain in the fucking ass.
Eventually, I nail it. I finally land where I wanna be! There’s this big player flashing Nika Venom’s name. That’s when I know femdomup.net/video/joi/ might finally stop fucking around and give me something worth writing about, and maybe, if the porn gods are kind, give me a hard reason to keep watching.
Before I whip my dick out, I want you to know that each video comes with a description and a list of tags. You know that shit is fucking golden! It helps you realize what shit you're about to stream, and if femdomup.net/video/joi/ ends up being big, you're gonna need all the info and filters you can find. Not that bad.
A hot chick with gorgeous feet
Yup, I'm still talking about Nika Venom. The video was uploaded to femdomup.net/video/joi/ only two days ago, and that means that the joint does regular updates. Well, I guess that it's a good sign. When you think about it, femdomup.net/video/joi/ checks all of the major boxes, and would be the content quality and regular updates, and maybe that's all that matters.
Maybe I should quit bitching about those goddamn ads, but fuck it, they ruin the whole jerk-off flow. It’s a goddamn shame, ‘cause that Venom slut really knows how to work a cock and make you feel like a helpless bastard begging for release. She's lit!
She's this pink-haired babe with nice tits and gorgeous feet. Yeah, she's a domina, just like the rest of the hoes on femdomup.net/video/joi/, but she looks very fucking tame. She's all girly and cute, but that doesn't mean she doesn't tell you how to stroke your dick.
She keeps wiggling her toes. Nika wants you to worship her feet, and if you do it good, she's let you cum. That's the whole point of this video, and I have no complaints so far. Nika Venom just dragged femdomup.net/video/joi/ out of the gutter!
Keep low-res or subscribe
Ok, let me deal with the prices next, and I'll go back to talking about them hoes later. As I've said, you have two options. You can continue to stream low-res videos on femdomup.net/video/joi/ for free or you could go VIP and get rid of the slow downloads and all that shit. Honestly, if that Keep2Share motherfucker can kill off the goddamn ads that keep cockblocking my jerk sessions, then fuck it, I’m paying! Take my money, just let me watch my porn without having to dodge ten pop-ups before I even grab my dick!
A couple of options. If you want the 30-day subscription, you can choose between the Premium plan priced at $23.94/month, or the one called Premium Pro priced at $29.94/month. The cheaper one gives you downloads only, 10GB of traffic, the ad-free experience, resumable downloads, and virus-free files. The Premium Pro motherfuckers offers 50GB of traffic, simultaneous downloads, ads-free, resumable downloads, and the streaming option.
If you want the 90-day shit, you have the same plans as above, but the prices are different. More affordable, of course. The price of the Premium plan is $54.94/, and the Premium Pro one will cost you $71.94. Finally, you have the annual plans. The price of the 365-day Premium plan is $199.95/year, while the Premium Pro one is $249.95/year. It's all pretty damn simple to understand.
The site is absolutely gigantic
Now, you don't have to be a genius to understand that femdomup.net/video/joi/ is just one section of the site. In general, the site holds over 146K videos, and yeah, even though not all of them are about JOI, it's still a huge site, and once you pay for that Keep2Share shit, you unlock the entire site. All fucking good and almost as huge as my dong.
When it cums to the femdomup.net/video/joi/ section only, you're looking at around 44K videos, and damn, that's more porn than you'll ever fucking need. If you don't mind the ads, or you simply choose to go VIP, femdomup.net/video/joi/ might be the only motherfucking site you'll ever need. The power of this site lies in its size and regular updates, as well as in diversity, and anyone saying otherwise is a clueless cunt who clearly doesn’t jerk off enough.
You'll have to find your way around
At the top of the femdomup.net/video/joi/ stash, you'll find the list of websites. Another very obvious thing is that femdomup.net/video/joi/ doesn't make its own porn, but it has enough decency to show you where the content comes from. Also, each thumbnail shows a video preview, and you get the info on the quality and the length of the video before you start streaming or downloading.
If you ask me, and you always fucking do, the best filtering tool here is the tags list. Sure, it applies to the entire site, but shut the fuck up and listen! It goes like this - 1080p 2797, anal licking 1062, 720p 1750, ass worship 13346, blowjob 6390, boots female domination 932, corporal punishment 4962, and so on. I've already told you that femdomup.net was goddamn huge, and those tags prove me right.
Sure, it's not like femdomup.net/video/joi/ is some slick site where you'll just browse around. You'll have to stay for some time, get the hang of the things, learn to dodge ads and shit, but at the end of the day, it's all decent. Not perfect, but decent enough, and it gets even better when you realize that you could use femdomup.net/video/joi/ for free.
I'm pleased
Yeah, it's conclusion time, and I always start that thing by talking about crap. If it ain't broken, don't fix it! The ads are, well, Jesus fucking Christ! They’re everywhere. You’re trying to focus on some pink-haired goddess telling you how to stroke your dick, but instead you’re getting redirected more times than you can count. You’ll spend half your jerk session fighting off ads, and that's why I suggest you go VIP.
Once you push through all that bullshit, and I mean really push through it, femdomup.net/video/joi/ is actually a goddamn good site. It comes packed with over 44K JOI videos and over 146K across the whole damn site. That’s more porn than your dick could handle in three lifetimes unless you’ve got bionic balls. It’s big, it’s nasty, and it’s updated very fucking often. All good.
If you're gonna wank here, you might as well do it like a motherfucking king. Go VIP and fuck all that shit that ruins your vibe, like ads, slow downloads, and random redirects. You’ll be streaming your filth in 1080p and the downloads will become lighting fast too. You’ll get extra traffic, simultaneous downloads, resumable shit, and the ads-free experience. It’s the kind of upgrade that makes you wonder why you ever settled for free porn in the first place.
So yeah, femdomup.net/video/joi/ is messy, but under all that roughness, it’s got everything a dirty motherfucker could ask for. That would be variety, quantity, quality, and constant updates. If you can stomach the chaos or just throw a few bucks at VIP, you’ll end up with a site big enough to keep you hard for years.
