Thinking about Valery Altamar, huh? Well, no shit! Who the fuck wouldn’t? This Colombian smoke show is packing real tits and nearly 4 million thirsty motherfuckers on Instagram. That many people ain’t hitting the follow button for no reason, so let’s cut the crap and see what this hot piece of ass is all about. The Porn Dude is clocking in, and this filthy investigation starts right fucking now!
She's about to turn 25
I did my little research and found out that Valery Altamar was born on 15 March 2000. Her birthday is just a month away, so this review is her early birthday gift. If you know basic math, you'll realize she'll turn 25 very damn soon, and it's the perfect porn age, if you ask me.
Valery Altamar was born in Cali, Colombia, she has black hair and brown eyes, and she describes herself as internet personality. Yeah, yeah, every chick with a fat ass and an iPhone thinks that. Let’s see if she’s really about it.
She’s standing at 154 cm, got an athletic build, and, praise the fucking porn gods, her tits are 100% natural. So far, so damn good. You can tell she's one of those short firecrackers with ultra-feminine bodies. On top of that, she's a damn Latina, and you know these bombs cum with a fiery combination of sexiness and sass. I really hope she does porn.
What's the thing with her Instagram
Damn, man, finding her Instagram was a breeze, but tracking down her OnlyFans was a goddamn chore. I knew this little cocktease had to be hiding it somewhere, and after some serious digging, I finally cracked the fucking code. You can find this naughty Latina bombshell at onlyfans.com/valeryaltamarprivate. I'm gonna circle back to that shit in a minute.
First, let’s talk about her Instagram. Rule number one when you’re eyeing up a chick online is check her free shit first. You gotta sample the goods before you go all in. No one wants to drop cash just to find out she’s all tease and no tit, so let’s take a deep fucking dive and see what she’s serving up for free before we talk about the real X-rated action.
Already told you that Valery Altamar is fucking huge on Instagram. Right now, she has around 3.8 million followers, and it gets even odder when you realize that she has under 100 posts on her Insta page. What kind of witchcraft is this?! How the fuck does a chick barely post and still have an army of cocks drooling over her?
First thing I see on her Insta is a shot of her posing in the cold. Not naked, but close enough. You can see those big-ass nipples punching through her top like they’re trying to escape. Bitch knows exactly what she’s doing. No full nudity, but goddamn, her shit still blows the fuck up. Alright, let’s keep digging.
Shaking her big ass with gusto
I think I know what's happening here. The clip right below that outdoor photo shows Valery Altamar shaking her ass. She's filming while shaking her booty in front of a mirror. Once again, she's not naked, but you can see the butt cheeks shaking and bouncing up and down, and it's all paired with naked feet and a sexy face. This post alone has racked up around 100K likes, and I kinda begin to understand the reason behind so many followers. She is not nude, but she fucking knows how to tease.
She does a lot of selfies. She loves nature, that's obvious, and she wears her micro tops despite the weather. I kinda think she prefers the cold weather because it teases her nipples. You can see those damn nips on almost every pic on Valery Altamar's Instagram, so if that's your vibe, knock yourself out.
Not a lot of videos, I must say. One of two tops, and I have a slight problem with that. I prefer the clips, and it's because a pile of similar selfies tend to get boring pretty damn quick. Also, I would have like more posts. I mean, under 100 similar selfies is not exactly mind-blowing, but you fucks don't seem to mind. Yeah, I know, I’m being picky, but come on, how about a little more than just a bunch of nipple shots? Maybe I’m just expecting too much.
Let me school your ass
Whenever you are into a chick, you start the stalking process by following her on social media platforms. There are plenty of reasons for that shit. First of all, platforms like Instagram and X are free. All you need is an account. It works on all devices, and you are not limited to following just one slut. You can do whatever the fuck you want with your Instagram or X account, but I also want you to know that Instagram is not into nudity. If Valery Altamar posted proper nudity, she would probably get banned.
This is why I'm disappointed by the fact that Valery Altamar completely ignores her X page. Only three posts there, or something like that, so it's not worth my time. Too fucking bad 'cause X is way more liberating, allowing nudity without batting an eye. A shame! Anyhow, you can use Valery Altamar's Instagram to check out her work, check out her body, and see if she looks like someone you would pay to see nude on OnlyFans. Moving on.
I need to find nudity
Damn, I'm getting impatient here! I'm sick and fucking tired of all the vanilla bullshit Valery's serving on her Instagram, so I head over to her OnlyFans. It's where she has around 380 images and 65 videos to offer. Now, that's way better than that 100 posts thing on her Instagram, and definitely way better than 3 sad posts on her X page. She wants to earn money on OnlyFans, and here I am, trying to help her on that noble mission.
Valery Altamar doesn't say a lot about her content on OF. She just says "enjoy the pics" or something like that. I'm used to seeing lists of content types, but I guess Valery Altamar just does things her own way. Right now, the subscription to her OF is 30% off, and brings us back to her Instagram. You know, you need to check her feed all the damn time. When discounts happen, chicks like Valery Altamar tend to inform their followers. If are quick on the draw, you could snag one of these discounts.
I saw Valery Altamar's naked tits. I fucking saw her shake her ass in front of a webcam, and trust me when I say she does solo shows. She's one of those webcam teases, playing with fuck toys and shit like that, and that means she loves communicating with her paying subscribers. Once you become a part of her OnlyFans, you will get nude live shows, solos, sexting, and custom content. She might not mention it in her bio, but all of these OF models do these things.
Time for me to go
It's conclusion time, and let’s start with the bad, because every damn thing's got its flaws. Valery’s Instagram is full of some basic-ass selfies and not enough fucking variety. It’s like she’s stuck on repeat with the same micro-top look, showing off some cold-weather nipple action over and over. Yeah, it’s hot for like a second, but then the shit gets boring. Oh, and don’t even get me started on her X page. What a fucking joke! Three posts? Really? You’d think she’d be all over that shit, especially since X lets her get as dirty as she wants. Nope, she’s just ignoring it like it’s a damn chore.
But, and this is a big but, when you hop onto her OnlyFans, that’s where the magic happens. The lady’s got 380 pics and 65 videos, not that half-assed 100-post Instagram shit. That’s the good stuff. She’s actually putting in the work to get you off, and that’s what matters. She doesn’t give you some long list of what to expect, but trust me, it’s all there.
Valery stands out ‘cause she’s not pretending to be some big-ass influencer with a million followers just for the hell of it. She’s here to make money, get dirty, and keep you coming back for more. Her shit might be a little lacking on Instagram, but if you follow the right damn signs, you’ll see the perks of dropping some cash on her OnlyFans. All in all, she’s a tease with the kind of content that'll leave you hard and ready to swipe that credit card.
