Mia Huffman

Mia Huffman "leaked" OnlyFans porn & nudes? Nope. See, with many of these OF babes, that’s basically exactly where they belong. Just shake your booty and open up those legs girl. It’s meant for you; I see it written all over your face. Some chicks are just really good at that stuff. Others don’t have enough competence to do anything else but genes have blessed them with nice titties. There are many reasons to reasonably become an OF model and be good at it. But what irks me is seeing babes with potential go down the porn path. Why not do both? I guess society is to blame.

You won’t see a politician do porn and not be shamed publicly for her transgressions. She would be burned at the stake like they did with witch bitches in the dark ages. I say, overthrow the government. Let babes be smart and do cool shit for the world, and also shake their booty on Twitch. Mia Huffman, the lady of our hour here has the brains to be in the office and also smush her titties between a cock for views and cash.

The first thing I saw before her nude lewd shit was her talking about abortion rights. While also making a cake. And she actually had some sound arguments and conveyed them in an eloquent manner. Let them eat cake. Let them bake cake. Let them shake cake. And let them have opinions on things. It’s the braindead ones who get most of the cash because that’s what incels want. They don’t want an actual human being for fear of realizing they’re being nasty to the said human being. It’s much better to detach yourself and DM your cock to a chick thinking that her sole purpose is to send you pussy back. Don’t do that idiots. Don’t send your left-leaning, semi-micropenis to unsuspecting victims. Send them a cool video on what communism, and then you’ll get to the nudes, dude.

Overflowing with Good Ass

Everywhere I look, I see ass. I see ass in my dream. I see ass in my memes. I also see ass on Mia Huffman. But you see, this ass differs from the other asses. Or does it? “Vsauce beginning of video theme song starts playing”. She claims to have the best ass on the internet. Well, of course she’s gonna go market the cake, the titties are small and do not entertain me. But we’ll get to them later. Her claims can be chalked up to conspiracy theory because who is she to decide which ass is the best ass? I feel insulted. Has she forgotten, or does she not know that I am the Porn God and ultimate decider of all ass-related issues? Well, me and the council. The council is my penis. We, as a team sit down and bang it out together on these important societal issues. I cannot confirm nor deny if her ass is the best ass as of this moment.

I haven’t seen all of the asses yet. Please email me said asses so me and my penis can have a proper voting session. If you’re sending images in the mail, I also request some lube and toilet paper. The voting process is long and grueling and takes lots of materials to be finalized. But alas, for now, I will say yes, she has a very good badonkadonk. She’s petite and smol but her butt is fat. That’s some impressive shit right there. It’s much better to look at when she’s doing normal things on stream though. Like cooking or something. Oh yeah, she’s a streamer on both Kick and Twitch. And has a YouTube channel. It’s nice to see an OF model putting in the sweat to market her shit-maker. Back to my point. She has these clips from streams where it's obvious the only reason she doing a thing, any said thing, is so her booty is on full display and shaking. Arousing, sure. Also, kind of pathetic to look at. Keep that shit for your OF.

A Natural Grinder

Not Gringer like the app for the gays. I know that’s what you thought I can read minds. This is a female we are talking about. I skipped along a YouTube video of some random VOD from Twitch and she was talking about her many efforts to be a functioning member of society. Mia Huffman didn’t just wake up one day and decide her naked booty is where the money is and then hop on OF. She had three jobs and went to college before caving in and deciding to sell her booty. At least she tried you know? Who knows, maybe she could have been really good at the XYZ job her school was prepping her for. She certainly seems to have the brain power to do more than be paid to exist.

I hope that in some other alternate universe, she’s a lawyer or like a financial analyst. I can’t really seem to “get” it with her sexy content. I’m sure a lot of men do because come on, it’s a hot, pretty babe. It’s all you need to get a stiffy and wank it. But I am a man of culture. I only wank it to babes that pull me in like a magnet. That and all of your moms. Low hanging fruit that I will eat forever fuck you. Oh, old ladies are nice too. It’s not my fault, okay? PornHub blasted me with an ad of an old lady with legs wide open and it said something like: Old women want dick too. Her pussy looked great and the wrinkles really did it for me. But Mia Huffman is just not pulling me in to pull on my cock.

Equivalent of British Food

Like, sure, she’s an attractive young chap. But if she were food, she’d be bread. But not French bread out of a bakery, fresh and steamy. Were the French famous for their bread or am I thinking of something else? Ah, yes, they’ve got the long, girthy dick-shaped bread. Still gets my point across. Mia Huffman is more like supermarket bread. The comfortable, easy to buy, cheap, and always available kind. You don’t need to put in a lot of effort to acquire it, it’s just perfectly alright and acceptable for your Nutella spread and that’s about it.

If you’re used to this kind of bread and you buy it all the time, you haven’t lived. And if sub to average-looking chicks, you’re missing out on more expensive but fresh and steamy Goddesses. You feel me? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this chick. She’s just, bland. And bland isn’t a bad thing. It’s just a type of status quo that neither enrages nor excites. She’s like safe food for people on the spectrum. Tolerable, easy to consume, doesn’t have allergens or lactose… This analogy is getting away from me and it’s my own fault. I can’t get the image of steamy, crunchy on the outside soft on the inside French dick-shaped bread. With some pâte…

Good for Cleaning

If you’re doing boring chores and aren’t feeling up to music or something super entertaining Mia Huffman would be perfect for you. That’s if you’re watching her streams and not pulling out your cock for her. I do not recommend pulling out your cock while doing chores. It’ll distract you too much and nothing will get done. Except if you want to put your cock in a vacuum cleaner. For the love of God, please tell me how that feels if you’ve done it or will do it. I’ve been absolutely dying to try but I’m too afraid of breaking the damn vacuum. My penis is too just too large. Also, there must be a rule 34 on this, right? So many questions, so much time. But I’d rather not be Googling vacuum cleaner porn. You know? Anyways, because Mia Huffman is kind of a snoozefest, she’s perfect as background noise.

It’s kind of relaxing. She has her moments where her mouth utters something entertaining or intelligent but most of the time it’s random nonsense. I must say though, she’s nice to look at when she’s just being herself and not forcing sexual shit. Her face is cute. It was very hard to notice before because she was doing dumb shit that turned me off. But her chilling on the couch with her cat and eating pasta is a sweet sight and I don’t mind it all.