MonaLita

MonaLita "leaked" OnlyFans porn & nudes? Nope. Alright so, at first, I see a hot blonde with nice tits. I think, here we go again. Nothing especially new or something I’d be writing the homies about. But then, I saw her bio on one of the plethora of socials she’s active on. And my guy, my brother, this hot blonde with an ass that won't quit was a scientist. Imagine being so smart that you become a pornstar. It’s like going full circle. Most chicks in the porn biz are, with all my love before I say this, goddamn morons. Hey, it’s not their fault. Their patents made them that way so now they’re in a profession that resonates with their IQ level. The smaller the IQ the more bank you can make in porn you know? If there’s no shame or guilt or whatever else going around up there in their pretty little noggins, they can stretch their holes for as many dudes and as wide as they want.

But to be a fucking former science woman and choose to do porn, that takes balls. Why slave away in a lab being a rat when you can dress up as a rat and be a slave to your master? And then like, make a shit ton of money in the process. This chick, MonaLita, is a special kind of breed. It almost makes me want to respect her and take her out for coffee before I plow. So, in a way, MonaLita is making me a better person by proxy. Wasn’t expecting my morals and values to be questioned today, thank you very much. But now I’m at a crossroads. If a chick this hot exists and is also smart, what have I been doing with the overgrown yet insatiably hot monkey brains? Maybe it’s time for a new leaf where some form of dating or courting is in order to get the privilege of pussy. I’m getting bored with the easy chicks anyway. It’s the same day in, day out. Without a good challenge, my penis is growing but my spirit isn’t.

That Ass Thought

And that’s as much as I’m going to care about a woman’s brain cell count and IQ test scores. Because in the end, pussy is pussy my guy. And I can’t even get to see that sweet succulent pussy for free, at least not easily. She has all types of paywalled content here and there, which just makes me want her more. It’s her intellect working for her again. Some chicks give it out for free like hot pockets and I lose interest. It’s like, you show me the goods right away and I have nothing to fight for. Yes, we will bang, yes, you will have the best orgasms of your life. But then the mystery is over and I stop giving a shit. MonaLita plays with my dingdong in a completely different way. On a side note, that stage name is either really stupid or genius. My brain converts it to Mona Lisa, instantly. So, will I remember her more because of this association or less? Who knows, it’s some form of marketing tactic she’s got so I’ll get back to you tomorrow on the exact loads I’ve blown to her, if any. One thing we can say for certain though, that ass will be sketched into my memory for a long time.

Not only is our queen of the hour a former scientist, she’s also a health nut. In the best way possible. That ass is something I want sprinkled with chocolate bits and covered in chocolate sauce. So, ya know, I can go in, expecting a full ass, ass meal. It’s the kind of ass I want to have a slow, romantic time with. If I could eat that ass with a spoon I would. Of course, with a side of the finest wine and maybe a cheese and crackers board. That ass deserves my time and attention. That ass could be laid out on a table during movie night and I’ll be snacking far after the movie is over. And yeah, I’ll get to the pussy, but where is it? Huh, MonaLita? You want to leave this poor old, thirsty man without one pussy pic to drool over? Here’s a tip from the pro, blast that pussy on your socials. Think about the male, lizard, monkey mind and how blasting your pussy will affect it. Lizard monkey male brain wants to see more of that shit after you give it a sample, not less. Share your pussy MonaLita. Or at least send me a DM. For science reasons. You know, cause uhm, you’re a scientist and all so you understand me.

Abs Are Weird

Ah, dear, sweet MonaLita. You had such a succulent lil tum. Something I wanna bite and rub myself up on. And now you’ve gone into the unfortunate fad of abs. I know what my audience is thinking right now and you’re divided. Some like abs on a woman, some don’t. Well, I’m here to set the record straight because my opinion rains superior as your trusty porn guide. That shit looks weird. When I see a stomach full of abs, I calculate how much I can punch it, for fun reasons of course. Like in Fight Club you know? Muscles mean strength and that’s what boys like to do, measure that strength by punching each other. So, when I see this young lady with a good ass and a decent face, the abs just throw me off. How can my cock and your abs co-exist in a sexual manner? Do I like, rub my cock on them? Who knows, maybe new horizons will open up for me and new kinks will be discovered. But I’m only doing this for you, MonaLita. If you weren’t so charming in your ways, I would have thrown you to the wolves by now. You can go and be strong alphas with abs and howl at the moon for all I care. But your natural sex appeal is making me question my kinks. Guess I’m not such a boomer after all. There’s a first time for everything.

The bottom line is, MonaLita, you’re not making me hard. But what you are doing is making me curious. You bang enough easy low IQ babes and it starts to get stale. I need me some adventure. Plus, this chick could probably carry me on her back with no issue. A new power dynamic play perhaps. The ass was giving me a raging boner and the abs are making it go bye-bye into turtle mode once again. But who knows, I’ve rubbed the little dude on females and their glorious parts for decades, maybe little ol’ porn dude should get some adventure once in a while. Except for feet. I’m not rubbing my cock on feet. No shame for the footsie lovers but, huh? Those things smell like Cheetos and have overgrown nails sticking out. Pass.

Sexy and Altruistic

If you didn’t do a lot of digging, you’d never know that she’s like Mr. Beast or whatever. Well, except for the horrendous accusations against him. Well, let’s hope that doesn’t turn out to be the case. In true high IQ brain fashion, she thinks of the people too. I shit you not, I have never seen a porn star ever do such things with her money. Who knows what pornstars do with all the cash they make. There’s no shame in living the good life, like doing whatever you want. But if you’re doing something on a grand scale with your pussy money, that’s commendable. This son of a gun has a YouTube channel and the only video there has nothing to do with flaunting her creepy abs or edible ass. This daughter of a bitch is funding cancer research. That’s right, with the cash she made from selling her weird abs and juicy tits, her great big idea was to…help humanity?

Pinch me, papa, I think I’ve found the one. I mean, we don’t both have to care about that shit. What I care about is stroking my chicken and entertaining my horny audience. So, hey, I’m doing something good for the people too. We can totally be a power couple. I talk about her holes; she talks about plugging holes where cancer cells once lived. Perfect balance. She’s also posted tons of reels but for the sake of my dwindling sanity, I’m not going near that shit. Reels are bad for you, go fuck bitches and like, save humanity or something. Someone’s gotta do it. I’m too busy to do it since my cock is in my hand 24/7 or else, I’d pitch in. But pussy is priority you know, and plowing MonaLita’s just made the top of the list.