There’s one thing everyone should know about the porn industry. A lot of it if not most of it is fake. I hope none of you idiots learned about sex from porn. You’re not gonna have a good time with the ladies if you put your cock in a dry vagina and wait for her to moan like crazy. Here’s the secret. Women don’t moan nearly as much as they do in porn. But that’s alright. Porn is made to be fapped to not to watch with a slim noodle cock while you take notes and try to learn how to lick a woman correctly. Don’t do that. Never do that. If you want to learn about fucking, come to papa Porn Dude. I will tell you all about the birds and the bees. See, if a woman isn’t moaning at all, you gotta dip. That bitch be broken down there. Now if she’s moaning and eventually has an orgasm, well lucky you. And if by any chance she’s a squirter then you better drink that shit up every damn time. She’s a keeper. Imagine that you’d please a woman so much that she does the whole piss and who knows what other liquid thing that you’ve only heard in tales.
And that’s exactly what SquirtaLicious is about. Chicks who squirt their guts out. I have no idea where they find these women. They’re all hot, below the neck at least, and they all produce the piss juice. That’s why some of their faces are kind of fucked up. You can’t have it all. If they had all around 10/10 babes below and above the neck, and they squirted, that would make the site cost millions and trillions of dollars. But here’s another thing. It’s not all about the chicks. The dudes on SquirtaLicious also play a crucial part. You don’t see dudes who can make a woman so hot and bothered every day. And then you’ve got the lesbians and bisexuals who just enjoy having orgy piss parties. And no, this site has nothing to do with piss. I just don’t know what to call the love liquid. Piss is just so much easier to say and it’s half true.
Stories of real chicks
I’d be much more impressed with the dudes on SquirtaLicious if I wasn’t a Reddit scroller. I know stores. I know secrets. You think Reddit is just for coomer nerds? Ha, think twice. There are thousands of hot babes on Reddit. And they don’t even ask for money, they just like being horny. It’s a breeding ground for chicks with daddy issues and bipolar disorders. My favorite type of place. So, on the blessed Reddit, when they’re not posting themselves naked, they like to talk about their fucking experiences. In detail. It's like a Creepypasta except it’s not creepy and it has nothing to do with pasta. Except if pasta was somehow involved in the sexual experience, I don’t know, sticking spaghetti in the vagina? Moving on. The stories are not something I frequent often because who the fuck reads? But sometimes a title can be so striking that I just have to unzip and prepare myself for a little adventure. And that’s how I found out that women have a lock in their vagina.
Not an actual metal lock, but some type of thing that unlocks deep inside their pussy and stays that way. If you unlock it then you’re one cool guy. It’s basically the squirting mechanic getting released. Once it pops, it never goes back. So, it’s not all in the technique dudes are using. If you fuck, you probably aren’t as bad as you think and the chick just hasn’t unlocked her squirting powers. But the babes on SquirtaLicious are all unlocked and ready to be plowed. It’s not that impressive when you think about it like that. I know, I just ruined squirting for you. Hey, it’s still super hot. I thought it would be perma ruined when I found out it’s not that special but hell no. I just saw a video yesterday of a dude slapping a chick’s pussy with his erect cock and it ended in a booming squirting session. You have no idea how fucking hard I was. The cum runneth over. It was really hard not to call over some of my bitches out of rotation and practice making them squirt with only a few slaps on the clit. Who even knows how squirting works? I’m not a doctor I’m just a horny dog who loves to inspect female genital anatomy with a permit. Don’t blame me they like it.
Briana Banks gets it good
When a dude makes a chick squirt, you’ve seen it a million times. As I said, I don’t know the intrinsic inner workings of the vagina. But I’m guessing that the dude is stimulating some special nook and cranny and make the big piss water go boom boom. But then you have lesbians doing the same thing on each other and it’s way more impressive and arousing. I just saw one of the hottest lesbian squirting videos of all time, presumably of course. Okay, sidebar before we get into the juicy pussy. They don’t allow you to have any fun. I’m talking about SquirtaLicious. No trailers whatsoever. Come on dude. Stop fucking me in the ass with this shit. It’s very infuriating. And I’m still here giving you a decent review only because I know that the content is good, I have penis senses. And also, when you mouse over the thumbnail you can kind of catch a little bit of action. But still, you suck. Do better.
Now, onward with the praise because this video I just barely saw, is fantastic. Imagine like 5 maids. All the cutesy, sexy costumes, the smiles, the kissing and licking. Now imagine them in fishnets. Okay, good, I know that things are changing in your body right now. Stay with it. All of them are doing each other but one of them is the victim of receiving so much pleasure that they called the video destruction of Bianka Banks. She’s in heaven. Sitting on a counter, legs up, and getting absolutely destroyed by so much stimulation. And all of this while the other babes are there being adorable and touching each other. I need to sit down. No, no I need to lie down. I need to go into deep REM sleep and come out of it a new man. The world has changed now. A couple of hot maids destroying one petite, gorgeous maid with so much stimulation. That’s the dream. By that I mean the dream is to be in the middle of all that action and either jack off in a corner or somehow try to plow them all. Ah, hell, I’ll do both.
Something is off
Remember how I said the models are kind of, odd? Like, they’re amazing neck down but boy oh boy is there something creepy going on above the neck. Firstly, you’d think that it’s hard to find chicks that are perfect and squirt. Yes, this is what I thought as well. But don’t be fooled. They can do better. Okay, yeah, I’m partly mad at them for not showing any type of preview. But still, I can’t just sit idly by while they feed us sub-par looking women. You should go and see what I’m talking about. I’m not crazy, right? It's like all of them are almost there, but not there yet. There’s something off about the face and you can’t quite pinpoint it but you know it’s there.
So, they end up looking kind of deformed. Except for Adira Allure. She does indeed allure me. Straight in between her legs, or maybe between the tits. I haven’t decided yet. She looks like a more fun version of that chick from that movie. Uma Thurman. Just a lot more smiley, filled with unicorns and love. And then you’ve got the other models and they can’t compare. I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy or maybe I have really high standards. But I see what I see, and what I see is get away from me unless you have a bad over that head or something else more fashionable maybe. Oh, let’s not forget the prices. They’re fairly cheap, one of the cheapest I’ve seen in a while. For a full year, it’s only 107 bucks. If you want to enter for a month then you’d have to pay 20 bucks. I’m very happy with these prices for a site that looks pretty good and seems to be quality.
