Cutie Kim

Cutie Kim "leaked" OnlyFans porn & nudes? Nope. When a girl calls herself a girlboss, she’s definitely not one. Every guy who tells you he’s one of the “nice guys” is most likely a piece of garbage. So it goes with everyone that gives themselves a title. It loses all meaning. It just sounds grandiose and narcissistic. There’s literally a name for it. Grandiose narcissism. This is not the case for Cutie Kim. Oh, my fucking stars. You have no fucking clue how attractive this woman is. I’m trying to review her right now. But every time I look at the screen, I can’t look for too long.

She’s that fucking good-looking. Makes me all emotional and shit. She’s a new type of attractive. You’ve got chicks that are hot, some that are cute, and some that are gorgeous. I can’t put her in any of these categories yet I can put her in all of them. It’s because she deserves a new category. A new word must be invented right this instant to describe Cutie Kim. How the fuck does one even get birthed with these features? Who the fuck were her ancestors?

This woman is so damn attractive. She’s probably the result of special breeding. Like dogs who were bred over thousands of decades to have specific-looking faces. Poor fucking pugs. They made their snoots too short they have health problems, but it’s all about the looks am I right? Something or someone has tampered with the genes in the Cutie Kim family tree. There’s no fucking way someone can be this…wow. Just wow… Have you ever heard of cuteness aggression? It’s when you want to be aggressive towards something cute because it’s so damn irresistible. This is a thing that happens with fluffy animals. Let it be known, that for the first time in recorded history, it has happened with a human. Before I put my cock in this chick's face I will smush it.

Please Never Get Old

Cutie pie Kimmy is only 21. She started doing porn she was 20. Do you know what that means? The numbers Wattson, they don’t lie. She’s got so many years ahead of her to make great content. Some porn stars would have been better off doing anything else. Everyone knows that doing porn gets you the fat cash money. Millions of 18 years olds rush to the scenes hoping to get famous because they have tits and know how to put cock in their mouth. Ain’t it swell not to have to go to UNI or something? Why use your mouth to recite lectures on quantum physics when you can use it for dick-sucking? I mean, sure, it’s fan-fricking tastic that I have so many things to watch and get my dick wet to. But those options mean nothing when the porn is a snore. Now, Cutie Kim, oh boy did she choose the right career. Nothing about her is uninteresting and unfuckable.

The big bang is a thing. It was full of atoms or some shit. The atoms that now make up Cutie Kim were making porn for the other atoms to watch. Yes, that’s right. They had cameras back then. Don’t google that. She didn’t choose the porn life; the porn life chose her. She is a gift woven by sex angels. Everything that’s ever happened has led to this moment. You reading this review and discovering Cutie Kim. You can fucking thank me later. I don’t even need a thank you actually. What I want from you is to jack it, stroke it, tug it and wank it to Cutie Kim until she is thoroughly worshipped. If you don’t fill a one-liter bottle full of jizz for her don’t talk to me or my son ever again.

Yin and Yang

So, the saying goes. Some bald guy wearing a tunic invented it once. In good there is bad and in bad there is good. In Cutie Kim there are jaw-dropping looks and in Cutie Kim, there are small tits. It hurts my soul. It hurts to the very core of my being. It’s not like I dislike small tits. Small tits can be fucking awesome. Tits are great. Everyone loves tits. They come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Some have piercings, others have tattoos, and yet others have my mouth on them. So, the problem with her tits isn’t necessarily the size. It’s the whole ensemble of the tit that bothers me. The shape is off, the nipples are off… they just look depressed. Her tits need to get on antidepressants. When I was young, the chicks I knew used to eat chips because there was a rumor around that chips make tits grow. I’m not a science man, who knows, maybe this works.

So, Kimmy, eats some chips. Throw in a burger or something. I’m not saying you’re too thin, you’re hot as fuck. But them tiddies need some loving. Look, I have a great idea. If you let me suck on them, they’ll get slightly bigger. You know how Kyle Jenner sold that thingamajig that you can suck on to make your lips bigger? Exactly what I’m thinking. I’ll suck them every day and they can grow big and strong. Everyone wins. I’d get to suck tits and you’d get your tits sucked. Them being bigger is just a bonus. Win fucking win. On a side note, ain’t nobody gonna complain about that ass. For a chick that probably weighs two grains of sand, that ass is a thickie.

Cocksucker, Cocklover

Hello erection. Nice to see you. Haven’t seen you since I came to Cutie Kim the first time. Oh wait, that was 2.344 minutes ago. What is this chick doing to me? So, there she is, on her knees, enjoying cock. Did I say enjoying? No, no. She’s devouring. I have no idea which crime she committed. Must be the crime to end all crimes. Nothing else could explain it. She did a crime so bad she’s on death row. The nice police girls and police boys offered her a last meal. And she chose cock. You can’t convince me that this isn’t the last thing she’s putting in her mouth. This is the kind of cock sucking which tells me she’s dying in about thirty minutes. She’s savoring every last moment of her life. That’s just how happy she is with sucking cock. Right now, the video I’m watching is paused. It’s a still image of Kimmy with cock in her mouth, eyes closed. This shit is now gonna be my permanent PC background.

The icing on the cake is her glasses. She keeps them on at all times. Whoever said glasses make you look uglier is a liar who can suck a big, fat, greasy, unwashed chode. Stop lying to these girls. It’s a rare of the rarest occasions where glasses make a chick look worse. I don’t know what it is about them. I’d say they give off the classy, dommy mommy look. But that’s not the case for every chick, some have innocent vibes. Yet, they look so damn fuckable with glasses on. Everyone had a hot teacher with glasses at some point. I bet that’s where the fetishes started. A young, hot chick who’s also smart and an authority figure? Yup, that’s gonna do it to ‘em.

Ying and Yang Part Two

For the average Joe and Joette, pepe in vegana is enough to blow some loads and get done with it. But you’re on a site about porn reviews, reading this. I can smell it on you that just plain ol’ fucking isn’t enough for you. Plain ol’ fucking is great for a quicky. Sometimes, you just want to release some dopamine and be done with it. Maybe some chick on the bus smelled like hopes and dreams and had huge breasts so now you have blue balls. Fap, fap, fibbidy fap, jizzy jizz, the end. If that’s what you’re looking for, you can watch Cutie Kim all you want. If you want something spicier, you’re better off...well... looking for anything else.

Her porn is great don’t get me wrong. A hottie with a body, that’s a win in my book. I want to see her kink it up though. She’s the type of girl that would greatly fit in a gangbang. Why? Because I want to see that. There’s nothing in particular that makes her especially suited to take ten cocks at once. But oh boy, would I pay to see that. You know those places in malls that have 8D cinema? Yeah, that’s what I want. I’d buy the whole cinema for myself, get naked, and lock myself in for a week. And when I’m done, I’ll lock myself in for one more. That’s how awesome I think a Kimmy gangbang would be. Please, oh, please, porn Gods. Be merciful. I am a good citizen. I do charity all the time. Like sticking it to uggos. Grant me this one wish. Thanks. Stay cool.