Handjob TV

To start today’s porn review, I’d like to paraphrase Louis Nizer by saying a woman who works with her hands is a laborer; a woman who works with her hands and her brain is a craftswoman, but a woman who works with her hands, brain, and heart is an artist.

Damn, Porn Dude! That’s pretty fuckin’ deep! What kind of shit do you have in store for us? I hear you say. Well, my beloved porn fans, if you haven’t already guessed from that line, today we’re going to be exploring the world of the humble handjob and everything it has to offer.

But before you flail your hands and click off this review to go and find some content that is worlds apart from a handjob, such as a depraved Czech MILF getting DPed in the ass by two cocks while also having her pussy fisted by a shellshocked 19-year-old porn newbie who has bitten off more than she can chew, hear me out!

A lot of people tend to sidestep handjob porn as they look at it as being too tame. However, this couldn't be further from the truth. Whether a woman can take more sausage down her neck than an average Oktoberfest attendee or happily let men rearrange her colon in hardcore anal shoots is all irrelevant if she hasn’t learned the foundations of a porn career, and it all starts with the hands!

I’m not alone in thinking this, either, because there’s no shortage of premium handjob porn sites out there that are dedicated to presenting the humble handjob in a range of non-humble ways and redefining what it means to get tugged off. However, signing up for these paid-for sites to find the one right for you is expensive and time-consuming.

This is why I felt a glimmer of joy spark in my pants when I came across the topic of today’s review, a site called Handjob.tv. For a monthly membership fee, this site claims to provide access to a portfolio of premium handjob porn focusing on different niches of HJ porn. But the question remains: is any of it worth watching?

This review is going to find out the answer. Now, join me!

What is Handjob.tv?

Handjob.tv is a premium porn site centered around the content of women using their petite hands to milk the dicks of lucky men dry. It introduces itself as being the place to find all of the best handjob videos in one place. But how much does it cost?

The site has different pricing tiers depending on how many months of membership you buy. The cheapest tier is a 2-day trial that costs just under $5. A month-by-month membership will set you back around $35, and an annual membership to the site will cost you around $148 when paid upfront.

A site membership then gets you access to a selection of hundreds of videos featuring dick-draining handjobs made by studios such as Strokies, Tug Casting, Public Handjobs, and Strictly Hands. Wondering what kind of content such studios are capable of? Allow me to show you in the next section.

What’s the Handjob Porn Like on Handjob.tv?

To get a solid idea of the content on offer through a paid membership to Handjob.tv, I decided to explore some of the leading featured studios on the site and introduce you to a highlight from each to showcase some of their best work. Wrap that hand around your dick, fellas, and pretend it’s the well-manicured hand of one of these hotties doing the work for you!

● Black Goddess Tessa Thomas Makes Her Handjob Porno Debut for strokies.com - What the hell is this guy’s dick made of? He somehow managed to hold his own as the gorgeous ebony slut Tessa Thomas drenched his fat dick in oil and went to town in a glorious HJ topped off with some intensely horny eye contact. Tessa has a glare in her eyes that says, ‘’You’re not leaving this room until your balls are drained,’’ and the final scene of her milking his dick onto her cute face while staring up at him with her hungry brown eyes is immensely hot!

● Soccer Girl Bella Puts On A POV Handjob Show for Strictly Hands - The moment I saw Bella’s tits, I was praying that this blonde slut would get them drenched in cum, and my prayers were answered! Bella might look sweet and innocent, but there’s no denying that this hot blonde girl knows her way around a man’s cock. As she pumps the dick of her co-star, you don’t know whether to look at her HJ skills or the resultant jiggling of her tits that are bouncing around wildly on screen. To finish off, he straddles this blonde harlot and looks down on her in a POV shot as she proceeds to jerk his dick dry of every last drop of cum and spurts it all over her gorgeous titties!

● Naughty Cop Sarah Vandella Strokes Lucky Prisoner in a Scene for Public Handjobs - Saraha Vandella dressed in a police uniform? Sign me the fuck up! While overseeing some dude doing community service while dressed in a uniform that would never pass regulation, Vandella berates her prisoner before getting a naughty idea in her perverse mind and introducing him to her ‘’early release program.’’ Christmas comes early for this convict as he’s taken to a nearby parking lot and allowed to squeeze Vandella’s gorgeous tits before being subjected to her elite-tier HJ skills. Now, you’ve no doubt seen her wild this chick can get when sucking cock, but her jerking-off talents are equally gorgeous. This lucky fucker is drained all over Vandella’s body, and I’m sure she put in a good word for him with the parole board!

● Aspiring Actress Kenzie Taylor Auditions for Superhero Movie - Next up, we have a scene from TugCasting that features the divine Kenzie Taylor and her instantly recognizable boobs. Fucking hell, this chick’s body looks custom-made for milking men dry, and those tits are indeed next level! After a slow and sensual handjob with a tonne of eye contact, Taylor prepares for her salty reward. I did want to see her get those epic tits glazed in cum, but the 4K shot of her draining this guy’s balls on her tongue is just as hot!

The Design of the Site

Seeing as I signed up for the premium membership of Handjob.tv to give you a review that’s as immersive as possible, allow me to introduce you to the kind of site design that awaits new members after signing up and overcoming the paywall.

The members-only section of the site starts with a skin-colored header bar home to the logo, main menu, and search bar. The logo spells out the site’s name and is a black, red, and white design complete with a graphic of a cartoon TV. The main menu that joins it is short and takes you to a portfolio of handjob movies, featured porn models on the site, and a link to more videos that directs you to the four featured handjob porn studios to be found on Handjob.tv.

The homepage of Handjob.tv then introduces you to a preview roll of some handjob porn that provides a backdrop for a call to action and a list of featured HJ porn studios on the site. However, saying this is poorly optimized is an understatement, but I’ll explain why shortly.

After this comes a range of dedicated sections that showcase different videos on the site; each displays five clips with a button to see more of each category. Metadata or preview roll is included; it’s just a thumbnail of each scene. The section categories range from the latest videos to be added to the site to the different content from each of the four leading studios.

What I Like Most About it

In terms of providing a reasonably diverse selection of handjob porn, Handjob.tv does the job it sets out to do. Whether you want to see public handjobs taking place on the street or watch cum-craving porn newbies put their skills to the test on the catching couch, the four featured studios on Handjob.tv can appeal to a reasonable array of handjob porn tastes.

There’s also some underrated footage from women who are now considered to be elite-tier pornstars, such as Sarah Vandella and Kenzie Taylor. As a man who appreciates Throat GOATs, I thought I’d beaten my meat to all of Vandella’s content, but the prison officer scene was new for me. So, thanks!

What I Don’t Like

Look, there have been a few times in my life when I’ve been given a handjob that’s so damn good that the harlot with her hand around my cock has made me speak something similar to Latin as I cum. However, that doesn’t mean I want to see Latin on a premium handjob porn site. When you arrive on the homepage of the Handjob.tv members-only section, your first sight is a block of generic Lorem ipsum dolor text that the admins haven’t changed. Are you fuckin’ kidding me?

While exploring the site, I also found that some of the handjob videos didn’t play smoothly at all. Many struggled to run 4K resolution and stuttered like crazy, and it wasn’t my internet! This isn’t an ideal snag when people are forking out around $35 per month for the service.

Suggestions I Have for Handjob.tv

For the love of handjobs, fix that generic Latin filler text on the homepage of the site. This screams laziness and tells you that a site that is brand-new. I do not doubt that there’ll be a sizeable chunk of people who, after signing up for a paid membership to Handjob.tv, will see this shit and say ‘’Ede faecum!’’ That’s Latin for ‘’eat shit,’’ by the way.

Also, if you want to survive in the world of paid porn sites, then the service offered needs to be impeccable. The price of a membership to Handjob.tv isn’t cheap, so the videos provided need to run smoother than the hand of an Asian chick working overtime in an erotic massage parlor and run 4K like a dream!

Conclusion

In terms of porn, Handjob.tv is home to a diverse mix of content that could make you want to rush down to your local rub and tug joint to get your trumpet polished. However, in terms of being a porn membership site worth paying for, it hits some snags.

The site makes an awful first impression with the Latin filler text left at the top of the homepage, and, like a woman with repetitive strain injury during happy hour at a Gloryhole booth, it struggles to perform in critical areas, such as running 4K content.