Some of you old fuckers remember when encyclopedias were a huge row of dusty books on your grandpa’s shelf. Back then you found the tits filed under A, for Africa. Wikipedia changed all that when they decided encyclopedias should be online, and anybody should be able to edit them. Naturally, perverts of the world used this technology to create the most exhaustive index of big booby women the world has ever known. Boobpedia is its name, and it’s been cataloging huge jugs since 2006.
The Wikipedia of Mammalian Protuberances
Instead of the loud, Vegas strip club style you see on most porno pages, Boobpedia really looks a lot like Wikipedia. There are some cartoon gazungas in the logo, but the warning screen and front page are just a bunch of fucking words. Where are the flashing arrows and spread pussies pointing me to the pornstars?
Oh. I see. The arrows are little more subtle here. Instead of a big image of a Japanese whore, I could click on that link that says Asian. There’s no photo of Scarlett Johansson, but I bet I could find her if I click where it says Celebrities. It’s a little more work than ordering off the usual picture menu of thumbnails, but there’s actually a little more to see here.
You know, with this text-heavy layout, one thing I do not miss at all is big spammy banner ads. They’ve got some outgoing links to Friends of Boobpedia and more “big boob sites of interest”, but nothing taking up more space than it should on the page. In fact, everything takes up the exact same amount of space on the page. Nice and clean.
It really lends to the pseudo-intellectual appeal of the site. This wealth of breast-related information doesn’t try to aim your attention in one direction or another, but merely presents you with the facts. I’m about to look at some naked photos of beautiful women, but I’m totally doing serious research, too. You can tell from all the words and shit.
A Hive Mind of Juicy Melons
Like Wikipedia, all of the information on Boobpedia is provided by users. Their mission statement at the top of the front page lays it out pretty clearly. The sites about boobs, plain and simple. It doesn’t matter if they are busty models, celebrities, porn stars or even amateurs. As long as they have big titties, they belong on Boobpedia.
Sex websites that run on user contributions are often hit or miss. It really depends on the quality of the users and what they have to offer. I once spent hours trying to beat off to hairy grandma pics because I picked the wrong amateur site. Boobpedia gets 8 million visits a month, so hopefully, that’s enough traffic to bring in the good shit.
This is a sprawling database, so it’s hard to know exactly where to start. Do I want to look at Today’s Birthday and have a little celebration of my own, or should I check out Today in Boob History? I can also jump to the Big Breasted Playboy Playmates, Big Breasted Japanese AV Actresses, or I could keep it indie with the B-Movie Actresses. About a dozen page categories like Website, D Cup, Natural Boobies and BBW are grouped at the top of the page, with a link to the full list.
It’s daunting, so I just took the easy way out. I never said I was a brave man. I just clicked the Random Page button and off I went.
Falling down the Rabbit Hole of Pornographic Sciences
The first random page that came up was an adult actress named Cosmia. Whoever added this chick listed her body type as Curvy, but I’m thinking she falls more under BBW. That’s a big girl, with some big-ass breasts. She stands only 5 foot 2, but carries around 36E mammary glands. I hope she’s got insurance, because that can’t be good for her back.
The information is pretty limited on this chick. There is no bio, just some basic stats about things like her height, hair color and ethnicity. The only content Boobpedia seems to host with Cosmia is the nude photo in the corner.
I thought this page was kind of a dud, largely useless to the horny masturbator, but then I noticed the External Links. There is only one link for Cosmia, maybe because she’s only been in the business for a year, but it’s a good link. This fat slut has a profile on another boob page that has a bunch of galleries and videos of her.
I click Random again and got the disambiguation page for Queen. There are links to entries for Queen Latifah, Cajun Queen, and Ivy Queen. There is also what looks like a link to a Queen-style bra, made by someone named Krisline. That link is actually dead, which is some total real-life Wikipedia shit. I guess you’re going to have to get in there and write that article, huh?
The next Random page I got was for Angela Fong. It’s a thick wall of text about how this chick used to wrestle for WWE and now gets in fake fights on the independent circuit. There is very little mention of her breasts on the page, but there is a nice pic of the babe in the corner. There aren’t any porn links for Angela, but all her official and personal pages are listed.
That entire entry is based on, or stolen from, the Wikipedia entry for Angela Fong. I bet any money there is a dude who’s just an absolute perv for wrestling chicks who is also an editor at Boobpedia, and adds a lot of articles like this.
Digging Your Way through the Titty Mines
One thing I really like about Boobpedia is the exhaustive indexing between entries. It’s easy to fall down the rabbit hole, clicking on link after link as you find out how each pair of titties is connected.
I hit Random again and got the entry for a porno DVD called Score TV Holiday Edition. Summer Sinn was one of the actresses in the film, so I followed the link to her entry. There I learned she got into the business in 2004 with huge fake jugs, got them removed in 2008, and then had them replaced with smaller giant knockers.
There is only a partial filmography for Summer, but she’s been in a lot of breast films that are listed on the site. I followed a link 2010’s World’s Biggest Tits and found a whole new set of girls to become obsessed with. Plenty Uptopp’s parents must have been psychic when they named her.
Plenty has an R cup, which might be bigger than your head. They’re listed on Boobpedia as Enhanced, with a link leading to a massive list of other Enhanced racks.
Squirting Semen into the Dictionary
Boobpedia, despite the ridiculous and laughable name, is actually a legit reference site. Some of the entries are pretty skimpy, but there is a ton of useful and interesting information here. I guess the question is, what is it good for?
You can jerk off to the site, but it’s not really set up for that. You’re much better off just hitting up a free tube and typing Big Boobs into the search bar. There are some good outgoing links to porn, but I didn’t find them on every entry. If you visit the site looking for videos of some busty whore you saw on porn hub, you might leave disappointed; Boobpedia might only give you an exhaustive bio and filmography.
Boobpedia will appeal mostly to OCD porn nerds, the kind of deviates addicted to both Adderall and masturbation. They’ll have the most fun cataloging their favorite girls with DD cups, or finding out which voluptuous women have worked with their favorites dirty movie studios.
The site is absolutely worth an occasional look to the typical porn fan. This is the place you should come when you watch a nasty fuck flick and just wonder, who the hell was that horny babe with a set of bowling balls in her shirt? Boobpedia (often misspelled as "boobopedia" and "boopedia") will point you in the general right direction, so you can track down your fix. Just be careful about falling down that rabbit hole.