Some of us who are exceptionally gifted, giving it to our women as good as we get in the sack. But whether you are or not, become a bit rusty, or are trying to “figure out” a new lady’s delicate parts, don’t sweat it.
We all could use some helpful pointers on how to hit your girl’s special spot. But before we get into what to do, let’s first look at some common misconceptions about the mysteries of female orgasms.
Don’t believe the lies
Women can climax through penetration alone
This is one of the biggest things a lot of guys don’t know about women: the vagina itself isn’t as sensitive as they think. There are a ton of other erogenous zones, just with the few square inches of female genitalia.
In fact, when masturbating, women get loads more pleasure and tend to focus on their clit, as you’ll see in just about every porno, amateur or professional. You’ll see fifteen examples on this post if you need some proof.
Being hung like a horse guarantees you’ll get her there
Gee, isn’t this a common notion a lot of overconfident and jealous beta boys have. As the saying goes, it’s about (among other things) the motion of the ocean, not the size of the wave that takes the ship from the Hump Sea to Cum City.
Women can’t really fake it
Uh, no. Unlike guys where there’s always proof – unless I guess you’re so old you only poof than sploof – women can pretend their pussy got rocked.
Don’t worry, though fellas, there are plenty of ways to check to see if you got her there, which we will get into.
Cumming together is common – or impossible
Honestly, this is a myth which both the mainstream movies and a good number of pornos have perpetuated. I’m sure you’ve seen it all before in entertainment, a good looking couple is vigorously lovemaking, and bam (!) they bust with pleasure at the same time and land in a heap.
Of course, plenty more people in the real world expect this end up frustrated, even defeated when they can’t cum with their partner. Then there are those who can climax together but spend so much effort trying to sync up every time their erotic encounters aren’t fun anymore.
Yes, some people cum a little too early or not at all, but it’s plenty common and fun when you orgasm a few moments before or after the other person.
Speaking from experience, I enjoy cumming within a few moments after my fuck buddies do. Even if you are a little quicker, just keep doing and respond to her signals. With enough endurance and continuing to cock her, your efforts should pay off with dividends.
It’ll take a ton of time to get her to cum
In some situations, it might be, but this isn’t necessarily true. Part of the reason is every woman is different, as is the state of her mind.
It can be true that a lot of women need a bit more time than most guys, even under the best of circumstances, though some ladies who are exceptionally horny, going through menopause, or have a medical condition can orgasm after a few seconds of sexual stimulation.
Yeah, hypothetically, you may be able to do that with the right technique, but that’s super rare. And if you think about it, unless you’re an unlucky thirty-second wonder, that isn’t going to be terribly fun for you.
But as we’ll see in this post, if you do it right, you’ll be able to give her orgasm in a tight fifteen minutes or so, perfect for you to sync up your semen spilling with.
Here are the absolute must-dos
You can do several things, but first, let’s look at what you must do if you’re having a hard time getting your girl’s toes to curl. If there is apart of this article you don’t want to skim through or skip, it’s this one.
Don’t forget the foreplay
Honestly, it is so strange to me that there are guys out there who dive right into their girl’s muff and bang away without any buildup. Not only is that weird to me because the woman in question isn’t going to have a good time but if you ask me, foreplay is almost as much fun as the pre-wet humping section of a sexual encounter.
There is a tricky balance point, though, when it comes to how long foreplay should last. I’ve read that some sex therapists think that foreplay should be, at a minimum, ten minutes long, if not, twenty minutes.
However, as we’ll see throughout this blog, it’s going to take some experimentation to get that golden amount of sexual warmup should be. Even if you have a number that works for you, the most important thing to be aware of is how your lady responds and go from there.
This is another thing which will be applicable to everything else listed below, but for fuck’s sake, don’t neglect the clitoris. Even a small amount of flicking, licking, and otherwise pleasuring the bean will go a long way to pleasing your lady.
Real men have no problem going down
I find it weird that other guys don’t go down on their lover. As with foreplay, this is another excellent way to nearly guarantee her orgasm with enough investment, but it can be great fun for you.
The sort of tongue technique you see in smut is a decent guide, but not the first place I would go for advice. Surprisingly, Healthline.com has a pretty good guide to beginners, as do related websites – just stay away from anything that Cosmo or what other magazines like that have to say.
A piece of advice I’ve found works well, but it is so simple that anyone can do is to start spelling out the letters of the alphabet.
Toys can make for a tantalizing time
Since I know some people think otherwise, I’ll start with this: there is nothing unmanly about using toys, even phallic ones, while playing between the sheets. In fact, they can be a neat way to add some variables and wel-cum series of surprises when fucking.
There are several to talk about and way too many brands to mention, but when it comes to sex toys, I’d stick to the basics. Unless you are into heavy electro-stimulation play, a couple of items like a glass dildo and vibrator should be enough.
However, if you want to kick things up a notch, then there is another fantastic option if you have a little extra money.
For example, with smartphones being ubiquitous and the advent of teledildonics, you’ve got a whole new way to get your girl’s motor running all day long from a distance. If you really want to up the intensity, there are all sorts of fuck machines on kinkier sex toy retailers.
Try experimenting with different enhancers
Another product to consider using is one of the most basic: condoms.
Yeah, I know, the thought of using some Jimmy Caps isn’t something that we all look forward to, but there are several reasons to start using them. Besides the obvious – i.e., a shield from infection and pregnancy – the right kind of rubbers can act as a perfect way to make your next wet humping end in mutual satisfaction.
The condoms you should initially try using for a pleasure boost are Durex Pleasuremax Tingling models. It’s coated in a safe tingling spearmint lubricant, embedded with ribs, and studded! If she’s into a spicier feel, Durex has another product, Performax, which is coated in a chemical to stimulate the body’s natural heat.
I’m not one to usually advise using lambskin condoms for a few reasons. However, if you are in a monogamous relationship, monogamous, and she’s on the pill, Naturalamb Trojan condoms are another product I’d consider.
Another Trojan condom that has gotten rave reviews from women is their Magnum Twister. From what I’ve read, this little sheath of custom latex will add a pleasant swirling sensation and can make it stimulating the G-spot easier.
Of course, I’d say everyone should look into is the Trojan Her Pleasure series of condoms. The name may sound grandiose, but try doing a little bit of research from the users. I’m confident you will find years of unbiased reviews that’ll prove how woot worthy this brand is.
If a big problem that you do have is lasting long enough before you can get your gal to climax, you should look into condoms that numb your schlong a little and allow you to last longer than usual.
As with a lot of kinky things, I suggest trying, go slow, and don’t overdo it your first time. In my experience, folks do duck better with condoms, which are ribbed, studded, etc., but if you’re not careful and she’s not relaxed…
Level up your lovemaking by lubing up
Speaking of using affordable over-the-counter sex products, try throwing some lube into the bedroom fun. There are two reasons with a nice bonus as to why you should consider doing this.
First, a problem that some women may not know they have or are not comfortable sharing with their partner is a lack of vaginal moistening. If you too aren’t familiar with what that means, just like a guy with a hard-on might leak some precum, a warmed up woman gets wet as well. In fact, it’s typical that women flood themselves once they are aroused, and that’s even if or before they squirt.
That said, not all women naturally lube themselves up to the same degree that most do, if at all. This is the reason why some women find fucking to painful and undesirable. But just like a little bit of pomade added to your ‘do, a little dab of the right kind of store-bought lube can make it easy to get things going.
Second, if you’re willing to spend a little bit more, there are some fantastic varieties that add a little extra “punch” while you’re pumping. In the future, I’ll do a complete rundown on the many types of lube.
However, I’ll sum up here by saying that warming and cooling lube can increase the sensation to help you get her off. Further, some brands like Bozzano are specialty designed to provide a phenomenal feeling when used separately, and an even more intense one when you use them together if you get what I mean.
This leads into the bonus I had alluded to; not only will using these products help put her in the mood, but they’ll also feel great for you, too.
Ease off on the sauce
Don’t get me wrong; a good glass of wine or two with a lovely lady is a great way to round off the night before getting busy. However, getting too fucked up before fucking can ruin the whole romp.
As with most things, everyone’s limits are different; as a general rule, I wouldn’t go beyond a couple of units of alcohol. A standard unit varies between regions but is generally equivalent to a shot or a half a beer.
While it may seem like an easy way to get each other both loose, too much drinking or drug-taking can throw a person’s senses off. Further, a normal integration of pleasurable sensations might be inhibited, and being inebriated can lead to uncomfortable consent questions.
Besides, as any beer swiller and wine-o know, moderate amounts of booze runs right through you and will make you want to squirt another, unwelcome kind of fluid. Well, I suppose if you’re into watersports, maybe not…
Advanced advice & awesome articles
Like playing a Nintendo game, pleasing a woman is easy to get decent at but hard to master. There are probably another dozen points of advice, but to keep this from turning into a thesis statement, I’ve got a few more second-tier tips.
Experiment with different sexy positions
Also, you might be surprised that I didn’t mention much about specific positions. The reason being is simple. I’ve already done another post all about that, so be sure to look at that blog, too.
But to bring up another point I have hinted at before, optimize your positions – whichever ones you prefer – to stimulate the clitoris. Also, it can’t hurt to orientate yourself to whisper sweet nothings, ear nibbling, and the such like to add to the experience.
By the way, when you’re done, share that post and this one to all of your bros and, even better, surprise your gal pals with those links.
Consider it being kind of like sharing the love.
Get inspired; stay safe; stay sane
We all know that professional porn is real, not that everyone can fuck like that, but in the sense that you are watching actual sex pros get it on. Although not everyone is or can ever become a fuck good, there are several videos out there that might give you a little inspiration.
I’ve talked about fifteen of them in this upload and think that even if what inspires you doesn’t work out; it will certainly put you and your significant other in the mood. Word to the side: all ways get clarity on what you want to try first, and pace yourself once you get going. Some of these moves might push your limits in a way you don’t know until you pull something.
Look to other ‘real’ people for advice
Another resource to consider is the Orgasms subreddit. There you will find a wealth of carnal knowledge and stuff to try, which anyone can benefit from. I could go on more, but for the sake of brevity, just hope over to my review and see what I think of that community in more depth-first.
Other websites that have similar user-made guides and helpful posts include some of the others I’ve reviewed on ThePornDude Reddit NSFW list.
Confirming her cum moment
Here’s where we wrap things up with how you know that you got your girl to that magical moment. Sure, you can ask, but it’s always that much more satisfying to see that you can prove that you sexed your senorita good.
Ask questions but don’t expect an obvious answer
Clearly, communication is essential, but if you ask, “did you cum?” you may get confusing results. The reason being men cum differently compared to women, and I’m not just talking about the lack of semen.
Women experience the Big O differently than men and other women, though there are roughly three types of feels to female climaxes.
The first I’ve heard is that cumming is described as an incredibly intense, pin-point-y, or body tremor-inducing feeling. Another way I’ve heard this form of climax described is in the vein that “hurts so good.”
Another if more akin to a general height of sexual sensation. From what I can tell, this is nearest to what men feel when they orgasm without ejaculating. Finally, there are those women who describe climactic sex as an elevating, almost transcendent experience.
I should also add that while men (nearly) always have to go through a refractory period, women can have orgasms one after the other. Very often, a woman will thank you but not at first since they might not expect it.
She starts feeling involuntary but welcome body spasms
Now, this can be a little tricky to read, but if you’re really in-tuned to your partner, you can pick up on these signals. When they sexually plateau, some women will writhe about just a little. Others will go through some pretty titillating body tremors.
However, once again, don’t expect the same raging orgasms that you often see in porn is something you are going to experience. Or perhaps I should say that it’s not likely – so, if you get that kind of genuine reaction from a girl, good on you, boy-o!
Don’t expect squirting, but…
As I’ve blogged about before, girl squirting truly is a real thing, but it’s not as common as porn makes it seem. Having said that, I’ve also gone on about it can be done even by someone who is fairly new at fucking.
So, while you shouldn’t expect a screaming orgasm and both of your genitalia to be gushing fluids, if you do manage to get her to spray a little, that is probably a good sign.
Take a class or hire a sex therapist
Yes, this sounds like a bit of advice, not a way to check, but bear with me. If you look at statistics, there are an unfortunate number of women who rarely or have never had an orgasm. What I think could be considered worse is that a reported 32% of women are not sure if they’ve ever cum.
To help with this, there is an increasing number of sex workshops, and online tutorials can help with this. If you still are having some problems getting in touch or emotionally opening up, a sex therapist or a counselor specializing in relationships can do wonders.
I should include that even if you aren’t having the problem this blog is about, seeing a specialist can still help if you are in a committed relationship.
