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An In-Depth Look into breast augmentation in the porn industry with ThePornDude. It’s time to talk about beefed up tits, boys. I’ve talked about female bodies before, but I want to take a deep dive into a controversial topic that’s been on my mind for a while. Fake tits are as good as real tits. I am not disputing that. But, the question on everyone’s minds is: Should every chick get breast implants right when she turns 18?
The Gorgeous Girl Next Door
There once was a beautiful woman named Mia Malkova. She dominated the porn world. I’ve jacked off to her more times than I can count. We had a lovely parasocial relationship she and I. She would stare into the camera, I would grip my cock, she would make me blow loads and I would come back for more after a quick reload. I loved her, you know. As much as a porn dude can love a pornstar. She was perfect. She straight up brought her mom to a fucking blowjob scene. Talk about a devoted pornstar, am I right? She was an angel. Then… time happened.
She turned 30. She was officially old, at least as far as the porn industry was concerned. She’s my main inspiration for this article. She got a boob job, and then some. She did a lot of things to her body. I’m not her doctor and I don’t know her personally, so I’m doing a lot of guesswork here, but bear with me – she looks nothing like herself. In a couple short years she went from being a nubile little temptress to …well, whatever you call the human equivalent of an overinflated balloon.
I’m not writing this article to rag on Mia Malkova. I still have the utmost respect for what she does. She’s a real cool chick. I feel I owe the bitches of the world a deep dive into breast augmentation surgery research, with the candor and boner powers you’ve come to expect from me.
How They Stuff the Mammaries
It’s about as simple as it is gross. They slice open an entry and shove a balloon in there. You might think I’m oversimplifying, but that’s roughly how this shit works. They use sterile jiggly materials, like breast shaped silicon blobs and they shove them in the breasts, towards the back.
The incision is made under the breast, from the armpit or even under the nipple. Babes also have the choice between round, teardrop, smooth, or textured implants, though the science is evolving. I’m sure that by the time I finish this article chicks will be able to get pyramid shaped tit implants if they custom order.
After the breasts are nice and inflated, the chicks take a few days off to rest off the swelling and general discomfort of having just been stuffed. With some luck, the tits come out looking decent.
Why I Give a Fuck
By now you probably know me as the guy who objectifies women for his own depraved pleasure and, well, you’re right. What you don’t seem to understand is that they objectify me too. It’s fair game. I don’t pressure chicks into looking perfect. I don’t pressure anyone. If I’m sitting on a park bench eating a taco and a hot babe rolls by, I know that if I say hello, I’ll end up inside her by the end of the day. It’s just how this shit happens. They find me irresistible. But that’s not what I’m getting at right now. My point is, I don’t put pressure on babes to look perfect. Most men I know appreciate perfect women on social media and all that, but out and about in the real world, we mostly just want bitches that respect us enough to not dick us around.
And still, it would appear that men are obsessed with perfect bodies. Large tits are a huge part of that. The bigger the breast, the more attention we pay. Well, there’s nothing wrong with that inherently, but what happens when babes start getting jealous and self-conscious, feeling like they have to inflate their tits in order to get attention? I’m the last person to be caring about the feminist implications of societal pressure on women, but, hey, it’s undeniable. Nowhere is this more terrifying than in the porn industry.
Pornstars Are Getting Screwed (And Not In a Good Way)
I wanted to curve from the science of boobjobs to how this shit works in the porn industry. I wanted to get a hint as to why Mia Malkova went full balloon mode. I wanted to know why Elles, a solo pornstar who had the most beautiful pair of tits on the planet, felt the need to flat out destroy them. I want to know where this trend is coming from and why. As a frequent tit sucker and motorboater, my perspective is simple. If they’re large, I suck on them. If they’re not, I suck on them. At the end, I cum on them. I don’t bitch about a babe’s tits if she’s straight up asking me to devour them.
The porn industry is not as wise as me. I checked the numbers. From the 90s, to the current year. We’re getting regular reports from serious publications, straight from the horse’s mouth – pornstars are being pressured into getting boobjobs. Hell, they’re getting fucking subsidized. Their companies straight up roll the red carpet on boobjobs and frequently drive the point home – “if you want to do well in this business, you have to augment”. Hell, check out the premium porn I’ve reviewed. From the thumbnails alone you can see it’s a breast bonanza.
It’s like the plot of fucking Deus Ex:HR. That game had a ton of augmented working girls that were pushing the natural babes out of business. It was cutthroat. Granted, in that game they’re talking about mechanical tech implants and not tits, but you get the idea. The metaphors are there. We’re pushing women to an ideal of perfection that is not rooted in reality.
The Ideal Breast, and Something About Beauty
From social media, to porn to Bulgarian music videos, chicks are inundated with the idea of ideal beauty and tits are a huge part of that. Technically, the hourglass figure holds it all together. It’s all about the proportions. Big tits for sucking, huge ass for fucking and a tiny stomach because women don’t need to eat. They need to suck cocks and swallow. That’s the general idea, I guess. Except, that idea only works in the bedroom. It’s great in the bedroom. Everyone’s a slut when the clothes come flying off. But, we’ve gone a tiny bit too far and that’s me saying this.
If the generally accepted norm is that every woman needs to bloat up her chestal area like a blimp, then we’ll end up in a society where breast augmentation surgery is the female circumcision. I’m iffy about those too, but you get the idea – it’ll be an unavoidable and uncontroversial rite of passage. “Happy 18th birthday, sweetheart. Here’s a voucher for Tits ‘R Us.”
Not exactly the future I want to live in.
Girl wearing in bra measures her breast measuring tape. Girl wearing her new silicone breast implants.
I’ve spent a fucking decade telling people to just get together and fuck each other, in-between faps and the message you all took away from that was that you need to obsess about your bodies. I swear, half of the time you people don’t pay any attention. If your idea of an ideal couple is a man with a giant cock and a woman with gravity-defying breasts then you’re out of the loop, my guy and so are the women that are suffering from this bullshit.
Gender Politics Aren’t Helping
Back in the day, feminism fought for women’s right to vote. Today, it’s more about cultural and existential emancipation. Sounds good in theory, except no-one’s on the same fucking page. Are breast augmentations feminist? On the one hand, it’s all about women’s freedom to choose. On the other, if you gaslight a woman to the point that she believes that her only course of action is to get augmented, well – is it really her decision? And if you, as a friend or family member try to discourage your sister, mother, best friend or the like from getting augmented, aren’t you disrespecting her wishes?
We have no bottom line conclusion here. The situation is fucked. It’s not just the women, of course. Hell, jelquing is a word now. Look it up. I’m sorry in advance. Don’t jelq. It doesn’t work. Any way you look at it, though, women are getting screwed the hardest. Breast augmentation is the most common cosmetic surgery in the west. About 300 thousand of them a year in the US, on average. We’re more concerned about fixing breasts that aren’t broken to begin with, than fixing cleft palates and third degree burns. We’ve lost it.
How To Properly Worship the Breast
In between my numerous sexual escapades, I try to learn. I try to improve. I don’t want the babes I bang to feel lesser than. I want to take them on a rollercoaster of pleasure. I want to be the best sex they’ve ever had. I want to throw the curve and set a fucking example for pussy fuckers everywhere. Breast appreciation goes hand in hand with this. The next time I run into a babe with fake tits, I’ll suck them just the same. I’ll appreciate her and the work she’s done. I’m not gonna sit her down and bitch about how she didn’t have to get the surgery. It’s not my business.
Still, I hope that articles like this make a tiny difference. You can seek this article out – it won’t come to your door uninvited. That’s kind of how I see it. I’m not here to change people’s minds, I’m here to share some words that bear repeating. Breast augmentation can be a beautiful thing, like all other cosmetic surgery. But, we’ve turned it into a fucking epidemic. Best I can do is share my opinion and try not to think about this shit too hard. If I manage to get a girl knocked up and some day my daughter asks me for advice on breast augmentation I’ll tell her: “Sweetheart, I have no fucking clue what the right thing to do is. It’s your life”. Sometimes that’s the best you can do.
