Dana DeArmond

Dana DeArmond was born in Fort Bragg, California, on June 16th, 1979. Dana was already a rising star before ever getting naked in front of a camera. First, she was one of the original internet personalities with well over three hundred thousand friends on My Space. That's right. I said MySpace, not FaceBook.

From My Space to Masturbation

As she grew in popularity, Dana eventually met the porn director Eon McKai through MySpace. That ended in her doing her first scene for the film "Neu Wave Hookers."

It's fascinating to hear about Dana's humble beginnings, knowing that now she's a member of the Adult Video News Awards and XRCO halls of fame. She knows how to attract an audience, whether with her body or otherwise.

Dana has been able to make that kind of impact on the porn industry while also keeping a hand in the real world. She's done guest lectures for classes at the University of California Irvine and the University of California Santa Barbara.

Dana was a featured model in Michael Grecco's book "Naked Ambition: An R-Rated Look at an X-Rated Industry," along with Dave Naz's "L.A Bondage."

And it doesn't stop there. She's written for Cosmo about her workout and skin routines. After Gabrielle Union mentioned on Conon O'Brian that she steals her workout routine from the porn stars in her gym, women became fascinated. It doesn't take a genius to look at Dana and see she's in incredible shape.

For all of the things Dana does for the industry, it loves her right back. In 2007 Dana lost everything in a house fire. Fortunately, the porn community gathered around her and held fundraisers to help her get back on her feet, which she did quite nicely. That's why you should dick down pussy, not be a dick to people.

Despite her fame, Dana suffers from intense social anxiety. As a result, she has built her life around only having to be in large groups of people once or twice a year when she does signings. Otherwise, she sticks to herself and her small group of friends.

Dana has a small set of stunt cocks she most enjoys working with. They include some of the best talents in the game, including James Deen, Mr. Pete, Toni Ribas, and Manuel Ferrara.

Her My Twat Account

Let's move on to Dana DeArmond's Twitter account. Dana has been using social media professionally for decades, so you can bet her Twitter account is fire. She uses it to entertain, inform, and increase her fanbase.

Dana describes herself as a pansexual slut with a heart of gold who's also in the Adult Video News Awards hall of fame. Those are both excellent traits to have. She also links three platforms: The Internets Girlfriend, Dana DeArmond, and Text Dana.

She joined Twitter in July of 2008 and has since gathered around four hundred thousand followers. I expect she'll reach half a million before too long.

Direct Message and Chill

The post currently pinned to the top of Dana's page thanks Los Angeles Weekly for naming her this year's most interactive Only Fans girl. Check it out for yourself. If you enjoy direct messaging and video calling your favorite porn stars, add Dana to your last. She knows the words to say that turn a man's cock into a cum puddle.

No Bullshit Policy

Dana has been in porn for a long time and doesn't take any bullshit. She will call a person or the whole industry out if they or it deserve it.

For example, a fellow performer recently flaked on a shoot, and Dana wonders if actors fake failed STD tests to get out of a day's filming. Apparently, it happens often.

Dana's suggestion? "Instead of getting tested every day, how about people start keeping track of who they fuck in a month?" That seems like a valid point. As a porn star, I'd think you'd be particularly careful with your privates. They're your money makers. You can't have them rotting into a fetid mass that falls from your body and crumbles into dust on the bedroom floor.

The same no-bullshit approach goes for fans and haters. When some random bastard with an egg avatar called Dana fat, she posted a picture and ripped the dude to shreds. Also, how blind are retarded do you have to be to think this bitch is fat? I'll give you that she has a few extra pounds... in her ass and fucking tits! But that's where fat is supposed to be, dumb ass.

Not even culture and government can avoid Dana's bullets: "Pornography is free speech and protected by the first amendment." Damn fucking right it is. And if anyone tries to smash that, they'll have me and all of my readers to contend with. Sure, my readers barely leave the house, live with their parents, and don't own weapons, but what they can do is cover the capital in sticky tissues. After a few days, those tissues will start to stink.

Dana has been lighting up Kayne recently, also. To be fair, I think Kayne is doing so much damage to himself that he won't notice any bullets fired by us. It's hard to see other people's guns when you have your own so far down your throat.

I had forgotten that Kayne put on the Porn Hub awards, art directed them, performed, and did shitty finger paintings of all the stars. If Kayne is trying to shit on the adult entertainment industry, he will have to wash the poop off himself afterward.

Dana feels like people are purposely exhausting toward her. She has been losing friends due to their sudden onset insanity lately. Dana lost one of her best friends when the friend tried to drunkenly fight her in a bar. Blah Blah Blah, some amount of lady drama later, and it turned out this friend is a hurtful gossip.

No Bullshit, or Angry Cunt?

You know, as I read more and more of Dana's Twitter, I'm starting to wonder if she's just an angry cunt. At first, I was behind her, but it appears that all she does on Twitter is bitch and talk about other people. Where is the porn? Aren't I here for a good time? If I want to read about the world's ails, I'll turn off the porn and turn on the news.

There is a phrase that I often think about: "Stupid people talk about other people, smart people talk about events, and geniuses talk about ideas." I'll add to that, "and porn stars post nudes." I'm not reading about any events or ideas, and I do not see many nudes.

For example, the next post down: "When somebody comes to my house, and they don't take off their shoes or use a drink coaster on the wood tables, I make note of it." Is there anything you won't take note of and fucking complain about. Jesus Christ, this bitch must be unbearable to be around in person. It's a good thing she's hot, or I'd be starting to hate a cunt.

Oh my God! A post with porn! I'm finally watching Dana's finger bang a bitch until she moans instead of listening to Dana bitch and moan. Fucking hell. I feel like reading this Twitter page is like being married.

Dana just made some leaps and bounds back into my heart by posting a picture of a Rick and Morty-themed butt plug bong. I didn't know I wanted a Rick and Morty-themed butt plug in my life until I saw it, and now I don't think I can live without it.

I just hit another batch of posts that aren't about Dana's miserable fucking life. Yay! On Nov 28th Dana got laid particularly well. So well, she had to make a note of it, as she is want to do. However, she wasn't done yet. Not long after her sex announcement, she asked if any ladies near her wanted their coochies ate? This bitch is insatiable. She can never have enough orgasms or a long enough list of grievances.

Here's a quote from a recent post thanking her Fancentro subscribers, "I love making my fans happy." I find it hard to believe this bitch gathers pleasure from much more than casting judgments from her throne. I hope her Fancentro has a more positive spirit than this fucking Twitter account does.

I recommend Dana's Twitter if you're a super fan who wants to dive deep into this bitch psyche. Otherwise, join her Only Fans or Fancentro. They contain a lot less cunty rambling and a lot more hardcore porn.

I think you know what my suggestion for improvement is. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Or alternatively, create a Twitter account specifically for your bullshit, so I don't have to see it.

However, Dana is sexy as fuck and an immensely talented performer. I love watching her content enough for it to make up for her shortcomings because Dana brings me a lot of short cummings.