Darcie Dolce

Darcie Dolce was born in Sacramento, California, on December 10th, 1992, to parents with German, Italian, and Armenian roots. That helps explain her sexy complexion and dark hair. And let's not forget about those sexy, brooding eyes.

Darcie grew up in Folsom, not far outside of Sacramento. She spent the first half of her high school career in private school and the second half in public.

Making Her Privates Public

The private school was tiny, and she didn't have the best experiences there. If a guy liked her, they were dumb and tried flirting by being a dick. Let me be the one to tell you that never works... I'm just kidding. It works really well on dumb sluts. It sounds like this bitch is a slut, but not a dumb one.

Because there were more guys than girls, the girls would get jealous of any woman who got attention. Darcie had a small group of mostly guy friends, and that was it. Public school may have been even worse. She only talks to one person from her time there. As she puts it, "Kids are assholes." Yes, they are, Darcie. Especially when they want to fuck your asshole.

Because of her negative experiences in high school, Darcie wasn't keen on returning to school for college. That time of her life was over. It was time to move on to bigger and better things. You know, like sucking dick on the internet.

Darcie made her porn debut in 2015 and has never looked back. At this point, she has worked for fantastic studios and sites such as Girlfriend's Films, Mile High, Pure Play Media, Penthouse, Reality Kings, Girlsway, Mofos, Digital Playground, Filly Films, Brazzers, and Elegant Angel.

Rocketing to the Top

Only a year after stepping in front of the cameras for the first time, Darcie slipped behind the camera. She got her start directing for Filly Films and has since produced such great works as "Darcie Dolce: The Lesbian Landlord," "Manipulative Massage," and "Milf Money." "Darcie Dolce The Lesbian Landlord ended up being nominated for 2016s best lesbian sex scene through both Adult Video News and XBIZ.

In 2016 Darcie was also selected as the Penthouse Pet of the Month. It's not easy to go from unknown to Penthouse in only a year, but that's just how good this bitch is.

Only two years later, Darcie celebrated her XBIZ win for Lesbian Artist of the Year. That's how you fucking skyrocket to the top. New porn performers should take note of how it's done. Step one: Be insanely sexy.

To date, Darcie has filmed around three hundred and seventy-five movies, including such hits as "Best Friends 5," "Prized Pussy," "Neighborhood Bush Watch," "Wet Lips," "Sex and Confidence," "Confessions of a Sinful Nun," "Good Girls Gone Bad," and "Horny Lesbian Sisters 3."

Along with being in adult entertainment, Darcie also DJs at local clubs. I'll gladly attend a club Darcie is DJing at. Of course, I won't be listening to any music, but I will be eyeballing Ms. Dolce. I might even have to beat off in VIP. That is unless some fine vixen decides to steal my load with her mouth before I have the chance.

Darcie uses Twitter to stay in touch with her sprawling fanbase. Becoming a subscriber is the best way never to miss a thing this bitch does.

She describes herself as the lesbian performer of the year, Penthouse pet, Hustler honey, Twisty's treat, director, and feature Dancer.

Both Smoking Pole and on the Pole

Yes. You can see Darcie dance at strip clubs. Keep an eye on her Twitter to find out dates. The only thing that beats watching this bitch fuck on screen is watching her dance in person.

Darcie joined Twitter in December of 2013 and has since collected nearly Two hundred and fifty thousand followers. This bitch can't help but stare success in the face. It's like the Gods created this bitch for us to all masturbate to.

The tweet currently pinned to the top of Darcie's wall advertises all of the platforms she releases content on along with her Link Tree. Link Tree makes tracking all of Darcie's platforms easy as cream pie.

The first thing you'll notice when looking Darcie in the face is her big mouth. This bitch can let loose a serious scream as she cums. Plus, she can also fit a massive cock inside. Shit. She could probably fit two massive cocks in that fat mouth of hers.

However, this bitch doesn't look like Fran Drescher or Steven Tyler. That mouth is connected to a gorgeous face and sexy body. I could gaze at her lips until the cows came home.

Your Dream World

Darcie has a question for you that not many porn stars ask: "Would you like it if I wrote something about you?" Darcie isn't talking about simple sexting. She's talking about picking up a piece of paper and writing down some shit with a pen.

I wasn't lying when I said this cunt could write. What would you request, guys? A poem about your cock? A sci-fi story about finding an alien cock pill and growing the most behemoth male genitalia the world has ever seen? A fantasy story about a world where women actually want to fuck you? Whatever it is, you'll have to subscribe to Darcie's Only Fans before you can ask.

Can Musk Fuck?

In case you were worried, Darcie does have a backup account just in case anything does wrong with her primary. You never know when Musk might decide to toss a bitch because she won't fuck him.

I don't know the man, but I'd bet my life and the lives of my friends and family that Elon has absolutely zero dick game. He might not even be able to get hard with a woman in the room. I think he's on an all-porn and masturbation diet.

Holy fuck. I just realized that Elon is probably a Porn Dude reader. Hey, how are you doing, old Musky boy? Sorry, I talk shit about you, but it's only because your fucking up Twitter for my favorite porn bitches, and I can't have that. You need to get your shit together so I can keep up with all of my favorite sluts on your platform. Now get to it.

I know you've been waiting for me to talk a little bit more about Darcie's stripping. She will be in New York City on December 3rd. Whenever Darcie is in the city, she prefers to perform at Sapphire. Sapphire is one of the world's most well-known and respected strip clubs, so it's no wonder why a performer of Darcie's caliber would want to dance there.

For all of my readers not in New York City, you'll be happy to know that Darcie's Only Fans is currently free if you act fast enough. To turn down seeing this bitch naked for free would be a travesty that I couldn't forgive. How could one of my readers act against their best interests in such a stupid way? I thought I taught you better than that.

Speaking of not missing out, Darcie has a Many Vids account that will knock your socks off. Her content is available for purchase, rent, or by-the-minute viewing. Regardless of your choice, you'll be a happy camper in a sticky tent.

Sniffing Your Mom's Fingers

One of my favorite scenes of hers on there is titled "Caught Masturbating." If you've never caught a bitch masturbating before, I feel sorry for you. What am I saying? Of course, you've never caught a woman masturbating before. Actually, on second thought, I take that back. There is a chance you've walked in on your mom masturbating.

Let me explain what happens every time I've walked in on a bitch flicking the bean: She hops on my dick faster than the Roadrunner being chased by Wile E Coyote.

Sometimes Darcie clears her whole schedule so she can spend the day talking to subscribers on her Only Fans. These days are the perfect time for you to call in sick and cuddle up with a bottle of lube and your Fleshlight.

Don't bother cooking. Just order some pizza and wings, and don't take your eyes off the screen. If you tip the pizza guy well enough, he'll come into your house and drop it off in your lap. Well, maybe not your lap. How about a nearby table?

Darcie is incredibly sexy and talented both in front and behind the camera. You'll be willing to kill your firstborn for just one blow job when you see her mouth.

I don't see much wrong with Darcie's Twitter account. There are a few too many automatically generated MAny Vids sale announcements, but that's because her scenes fly off the shelves. She can't help that.

If you're not already checking this bitch out, what the fuck are you doing with your life?