Janet Mason

Janet Mason was born in Santa Barbara, California, on April 18th, 1967. Santa Barbara is a beautiful coastal town whose freewheeling spirit inspired Janet to blaze her own path pussy first. In my experience, all the best paths are blazed pussy first.

From the Base to the Tip

Janet got her start in the industry in 1998 at the age of twenty-eight by creating her own website. Internet porn was still in its infancy, but Janet wasn't going to waste a single second. Time was of the essence if Janet was going to get in on the ground floor.

By the year 2000, Janet was shooting her first official hardcore porn videos. Her most beloved performances included teenage boys, black dudes, and lesbians.

Janet is one of the first milfs to populate the internet with pictures of her naked body. All other milfs owe Janet a debt of gratitude. If it weren't for her, there would be no Dee Williams, Alexis Fawx, or Julia Ann. What a terrible world that would be. I'd rather be dead.

Janet is a motherfucking pussy OG. In her twenty-five-plus years on the scene, she's worked with the likes of Wicked Pictures, Brazzers, Reality Kings, Hustler Video, New Sensations, Lethal Hardcore, Vivid, Girlfriend's Films, Naughty America, and Zero Tolerance.

By 2010, Janet Mason had sculpted her body into perfection. It was competition level, so she went ahead and competed in female body-building events. However, Janet wasn't a big-brain butch bitch with twenty-four-inch pythons and a clit the size and shape of a cuntzilla.

Instead, she competes in the figure category, and boy, does she have a figure. The way I figure it, I'd like to be inside of her figure.

To separate her body-building alter-ego from her true porn self, she competed under the name Paige McFarland. As Paige, she won second place in a respected tournament. In 2011 she won a Vitrix content and scored a six-month contract with the Nutrex company.

Janet has been married since 1990, a full eight years before she started her journey in adult entertainment. Her ventures in kink began in 1995 when she joined the local swinging community. Janet's a milf three times over.

In more recent times, Janet has increasingly found herself behind the camera as a director. I'm sure all those years of experience are being put to good use. She's like a porn sage at this point. Young, first-time Only Fans models make a pilgrimage to her church, hoping to be anointed with sacred cocksmithing knowledge.

Will Suck Dick for Rent

Perhaps the most essential fact about Janet is that she has an escort license. If you have a dry dick, no opportunities on the horizon, and a lot of expendable income, you could have a chance at making her a mother four times over. I'm just kidding. My reader's cum is so old and downtrodden the sperm refer to your vas deferens as the trail of tears. You couldn't even impregnate an eighteen-year-old Morman.

Now that I have your full attention, or at least at full attention, let's look at Janet's Twitter account. I guess you can teach an old cougar new tricks. She quite aptly describes herself as "One of the pioneer amateur 'hot wife' content creators; online since 1998!" She goes on to leave her Link Tree for anyone who wants to see the breadth of her work over the last quarter century.

Growth is Progress

The tweet currently pinned to the top of Janet's wall is monumental. It's a message that will "carry weight" with anyone who enjoys the "larger than life." Janet was already "well rounded," but now she threw a "curve" ball.

Janet had her already considerably large breast enhancements removed and replaced with ultra-massive implants. I don't know where this bitch started, but her tits are now a gargantuan 32 F-cup. Their big enough to be considered floatation devices by the Federal Aviation Administration. They could hold a rhino afloat.

The flesh on Janet's tits looks ready to tear open and spray silicone all over whatever room she's in. I wouldn't stand in front of her when having a conversation. Not unless you're wearing a helmet and safety glasses. I wouldn't want to see you get any eye pressure washed out of your face.

You may or may not know that oil and massage porn are one of my favorites. I love how a bitches body looks when it's all lubed up and shiny. It's like I'm seeing a cunt in 3D mega vision. It's as close to seeing a bitch live as a screen can ever get.

Janet recently shot a lesbian massage scene with fellow milf Mandy Moore that is hot as fuck. I could watch these two rub each other down for the rest of my natural-born life.

Mandy may be a milf, but she still looks like a dumb college slut to me. At what age did Mandy get pregnant? Fifteen? Whatever the case, both these bitches can catch my dick anytime they like.

When Dreams Come True

Being that Janet has her escort license, it's often a theme of her video releases. It makes for excellent content, but it's more than that. It's an opportunity. You see, one of Janet's favorite stunt cock victims is adoring fans. I guess she just likes to make dreams come true. That's doing the Lord's work if I've ever heard of it.

I know what you're thinking: What do I have to do to become a guest stunt cock. First off, you must be able to fuck for longer than four seconds. You're not capable of filming a sex scene. The best you can do is a short sex gif. Make sure the camera is already running before you go balls deep. Otherwise, your stellar performance may be missed.

Wow. Gents, I owe you an apology. At first, Janet reported the wrong cup size for her new tits. The doctor said F, but after getting fitted for new bras, she's actually a G cup.

I get that it's not my fault she reported them wrong at first. However, it is my fault that I overlooked the discrepancy and didn't correct it myself. I'm a fucking titty whisperer. I can tell a bitches cup size at a short glance from a thousand meters out. How did I fuck this one up? I was too trusting of these bitch. Remember, gents. Never trust these hoes.

Cougar Cubs and Stepsons

Being a milf, you can bet Janet does plenty of work with "stepsons." She is one of the first sluts to wrap her mouth around her partner's son. Any of us would be lucky to call Janet our stepmom. Every time pops' went to work, I'd be on top of her pussy like white on rice. By the time he got back home from work, the whole house would smell like pussy.

Janet also loves her cubs. For the uninitiated, cubs are young men that love fucking milfs. Generally, they're between the ages of eighteen and twenty-three and are still developing. No chest hair, no beard, just innocence, and a hard cock. What more does a dirty whore like Janet need? Not much.

For example, Janet and her milf partner in crime Mandy Moore recently made a cubs' bucket list come true when they gave him the threesome of his lifetime. I suppose that isn't saying much, considering the dude is only twenty-two. I didn't think the guy would make it out alive, but fortunately, he is a college athlete with plenty of stamina to handle these devilish bitches.

While scrolling Janet's Twitter, you will come across swaths of wall entirely populated by Many Vids clip sale announcements. It can get a bit bland, but it does show off how many clips this bitch sells. Her Many Vids account has steam coming out of it. The site must have its own server for just her.

A Stroke While Stroking

Alright, guys. Which one of my dumb-ass readers sent Janet some unreadable fan mail that sounds like a man having a stroke against his typewriter? I'll quote it in the case said author forgot: "I only have a sex video guy is better than loving women redhead doggy style to dancing passion I believe in. But I can have a massage and suck in my cock then put my finger in your ass and put my cock in your pussy to dance. And get cum on your face. Thanks, 46 years old." God fucking damnit, you guys are retarded.

Janet is an original gangster of porn with more miles on her pussy than a greyhound bus. I can't believe it hasn't up and vacated her body for greener and less penisy pastures.

My primary suggestion to Janet is to clean up some of the Many Vids sale announcements or at least post often enough that they break up.

Janet's pussy is open wide for you, so don't bother knocking. Just cross that threshold dick first.