Lola Fae

Lola Fae was born in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, on May 13th, 1996. For those unfamiliar with the area, Fort Lauderdale is one of the worst cities in one of the worst states. Florida is the place if you want to see Americans at their most cliche retardation.

Besides Fort Lauderdale, I also recommend Jacksonville, Florida. It's got great people watching, pending you keep your distance. Florida is a zoo; you don't want to crawl in the cage with these motherfuckers. They're dumb, armed, and hate anyone that's not as dumb and armed as them.

Escaping the Snatch Trap

Lola avoided becoming part of the problem and instead attended art school and got her associate of arts degree, hoping to pursue fine arts and illustration. Eventually, recognizing her rising student debt and lack of profitable job opportunities in art, Lola switched to bio-environmental safety.

Even before getting to college, Lola was always beautiful. She began modeling at sixteen and immediately switched to erotic modeling at eighteen. The woman knew what she wanted and how to get it.

Lola didn't get her official start in the industry until December of 2016 at the age of twenty. She recorded her first scene in the spring of 2017 for Reality Kings. Not too many bitches are beautiful enough to start with Reality Kings as opposed to working up to them.

Her beauty and passion for the cock rocketed her through the ranks of porn sluts. Soon Lola was looking down on people that had been doing porn for years longer.

At this point, Lola has worked with many of the best porn producers and sites the world has to offer, including Burning Angel, Evil Angel, Zero Tolerance, Bang Bros, Girlfriend Films, Devil's Films, Jules Jordon Video, Kink, Mofos, and Pure Taboo.

She's Knot Fucking Around

Lola doesn't mind getting a little bit freaky. In fact, she loves it. That's why you can find her in many BDSM and bondage videos. She even takes it a step further by performing in kinbaku-style porn.

For those not in the know, Kinbaku is an artistic Japanese bondage style with elaborate rope restraints. It is considered an art form in Japan, and learning it is no joke. Practitioners know an insane amount of knots, among other things.

Lola has been nominated for multiple Adult Video News, XBIZ, and other awards, including but not limited to best virtual reality sex scene, Favorite fan clip, Star of the year, Best lesbian scene, Airtight angel of the year, and Empress of Nipple Paradise. Thus far, Lola has been featured in over two hundred and ten films.

A Real-Life Sex Fairy

With the fine detail out of our way, let's check in on one of Lola's favorite social media platforms: Twitter. Lola describes herself as a sacred priestess. Pending she means a sacred priestess of the cock, I'll agree with her.

She goes on to call herself a fae incarnate and a gender-fluid switch. I suppose fae's don't have gender? It would have been a sin for her not to mention her most famous and incredible asset: her heart-shaped nipples.

Lola Fae joined Twitter in June of 2016 and has since accumulated nearly two hundred thousand followers. Apparently, there are a ton of dudes out there looking for heart-shaped nipples. I had no idea.

With the Adult Video News awards coming up, Lola Fae announced that she is nominated for Best virtual reality scene, Best thespian, and Best trans one on one scene. I'll be curious to see if any of these nominations turn into wins.

Do You Suck Toes?

Where are all the feet, guys, at? Let's get you, bastards, out of the way early. Lola has proportional feet with somewhat longer toes. However, that's not why I bring them up. Lola loves to have her toes sucked on, so if that's your thing, you just found an angel. Do angels have heart-shaped nipples as fairies do?

Along with her Only Fans account, Fae also has a Fan Centro. Your cock is guaranteed to get hard as a diamond regardless of which you visit. Plus, it gives you the opportunity to actually interact with this bitch. You can ask her if those nips are real. I've got news for you: they are.

While you're busy exploring her Only Fans and Fan Centro accounts, don't forget to swing by her official site, Lola Fae Club. You don't want to miss out on the perverted shit she does on her site. If you do, and your balls find out, they'll pack up bags and move out of your scrotum.

We might as well keep this train rolling. My readers are huge Many Vids fans. Having a Many Vids page allows users to pay for porn by the minute. You fuckers don't need more than ninety seconds to spill a load, so why buy an entire video?

Lola Fae has plenty of content on her Many Vids account. More than enough to sate your penis's need to see heart-shaped nipples. You can thank me after you fill up your Fleshlight to the brim with jizz.

The Pope Needs Pussy Too

A Lola fan named Craig created one of my favorite memes I've seen in a while. It depicts the pope holding up a scene of Lola having her pussy crushed spread eagle like it's the holy sacrament. The pope wishes he could get himself a piece of that action. It's not a little boy, but the world is full of disappointment.

I found a bit of a mystery post that I'm trying to decipher: "I honestly really enjoy being a PA." A physician's assistant? Somehow I highly doubt this bitch is a working physician's assistant. I refuse to believe it.

I'm trying to drum up what debaucherous act or fetish PA could stand for, but I've got nothing. I hope she doesn't mean she's a Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania is one of the worst states in the union, right alongside Florida. Don't talk about yourself like that, Lola.

You know what, gents? I may have just remembered that PA stands for production assistant, but I'm not changing the previous paragraph. If nothing else, it's a warning to stay away from PA, the state. I didn't say I'm fucking genius, goddamnit. What do you want from me? I review porn for a living.

Lola works with East Coast Talent, and she is one of their prized contracts. As such, East Coast Talent never misses a chance to advertise its star players' wares. She is always available for shoots in Los Angeles or Las Vegas. Call, direct message, or email ECT for details and scheduling. I'm sure Lola would love to do a photo shoot in your parent's basement. Perhaps she can use your empty take-out containers as a teasing prop.

Alright, foot guys. Bring yourselves back into the huddle. I highly recommend you go to Many Vids and purchase "Lola Fake Blackmails Foot Loving Teacher."

Lola is far from studious, and her grades reflect it. However, while she may not be good at math, she is good at sucking the teacher's dick. That's a marketable skill in and of itself. Who needs school when you have a mouth game? Perhaps an arrangement could be made that's beneficial to both parties.

When Lola does her makeup and dresses correctly, she looks like straight-up faux bait. I'd stay away from her if she came up to me at a bar unless she had an ID and birth certificate in hand.

A Stream Watchers Dream

I've somehow made it this far into Lola's article without mentioning her live-streaming prowess. When she is in front of a streaming audience, she can turn a belly button into a hard dick. You'll beg her never to stop while you stroke your cock, silly. You better clear out your schedule if you plan on tuning in.

Naturally, if Lola is an excellent live performer, you know she gives great JOI. (jerk-off instructions). You'll never want to jerk off without her telling you what to do again. Her soft, Fairy voice will send shivers down the spine of your shaft.

Here is a tweet for the ages: "I had a partner that could fist me, and he had big hands. I should find out if I can fist myself." There's been no word on if she gave fisting herself a chance. Personally, I hope not. I want that pussy to stay as tight as possible. The only fist-sized object that should be entering it is my penis.

Lola Fae is a sex fairy if I've ever seen one. What more proof do you need than her heart-shaped nipples? That's game, set, and match, baby, so why don't you sit on this wizard dick, Lola?

My only complaint is that Lola doesn't show off her nipples enough on Twitter. I'm sure it's purposeful, but give us a little something.

Gentlemen, you know your mission. So stop reading me and start slinging ropes to a real-life fairy.