{"id":20597,"date":"2023-04-03T06:44:21","date_gmt":"2023-04-03T06:44:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theporndude.com\/blog\/?p=20597"},"modified":"2025-08-01T01:38:58","modified_gmt":"2025-08-01T01:38:58","slug":"going-viral-overnight-the-discord-goon-chronicles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theporndude.com\/blog\/going-viral-overnight-the-discord-goon-chronicles","title":{"rendered":"Going viral overnight: The Discord goon chronicles"},"content":{"rendered":"

A touching, heartfelt story about going viral, getting betrayed and receiving a fuckton of cock pics. We didn’t expect this. No one did. There was no way we could have predicted this. It happened overnight and we’re still trying to keep up with the surge of new people on Discord who’ve come to make friends and share smut with each other. The Porn Dude Discord server is the success we didn’t know we wanted.<\/p>\n

The Calm Before the Storm<\/h2>\n

The 12th<\/sup> of March 2023 \u2013 that was the day. Hundreds of people came together to post pictures of cocks and spout the n-word. No wait, it gets good I promise!<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It was a drab and quiet night. I was up in my fap shack having a tug, as usual. I was getting ready for bed. Then, the sirens went off. We were on red alert. My porn minions called me on the emergency PornDude line:<\/p>\n

Sir! Our Discord! It\u2019s being pounded by cocks of unknown origin!<\/p>\n

To which I replied:<\/p>\n

We have a Discord server<\/a>?<\/p>\n

As it turns out, I ordered that a PornDude discord server<\/a> be made ages ago, when that confusing mess of an app first took off. I don\u2019t like the sound of middle-aged men screaming profanities in my ear while I play video games, so naturally I wanted nothing to do with that platform, at first. That fateful day, everything changed.<\/p>\n

Sir! We\u2019re trending on Twitter. Everyone\u2019s flocking to our Discord server, posting cocks and screaming obscenities! What do we do!? – shouted my cronies.<\/p>\n

I said:<\/p>\n

To arms, men! We must defend our good name! We must stand in the name of masturbation, oral fixation and deep anal penetration!<\/p>\n

Initial (Deep) Impact<\/h2>\n

The 13th<\/sup> of March 2023 \u2013 a few hours into the fray.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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So, we took bravely to the server, myself and my various compadres and we dared to jump into our then only voice channel, to see what the fuss was all about. This proved to be \u2026 uncomfortable. Have you ever been in an all-male sauna at a second-rate spa? The smells, the sounds, the deep discomfort of drowning in other men\u2019s balls? That\u2019s what we felt, except it was all blasting through our ear drums. Thank you, voice chat. Nice job. I deeply regret the invention of the microphone.<\/p>\n

The new fans were coming in faster than we could count them. The server member count was skyrocketing, and we didn\u2019t even have a system in place to track it. I don\u2019t know shit about Discord, damn it. All I know is there are hundreds of fappers here and they’re dying to make a statement. That statement appeared to have been: \u201cWe\u2019re straight and we really love posting cocks\u201d.<\/p>\n

A bit of a side note here, I have nothing against cocks, you know I have a gay porn review website<\/a>. It\u2019s the absurdity that gets me \u2013 hundreds of straight men posting nothing but gigantic schlongs is… well it\u2019s counter intuitive. Whatever, it was making me famous. I wasn\u2019t about to complain about it.<\/p>\n

The Goon Uprising<\/h2>\n

The 14th<\/sup> of March 2023 – A society started to form<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

You probably all know this but, if you leave sperm in an organic environment for long enough, a colony starts to form. You can do the same thing with week old yogurt. Leave it out long enough and a culture develops. I call this cum science. As it turns out, given a long enough time and sufficient exposure to cock pics, humans can develop cultures too. I found this very surprising. The folks on our Discord server had started to \u2026 evolve, culturally. If there are any fellow anthropologists in the audience, get in on this case study. If you get hundreds of cringe perverts in one place at the same time and lock them in, they eventually turn into decent people \u2026 or something. Cum science. And so, from the ashes a movement was born.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, over at ThePornDudeHQ …<\/p>\n

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(Our building is two blocks down from The Baxter Building, do not <\/strong>send cum to our mailboxes anymore, please.)<\/p>\n

We were struggling to keep up with the influx of new members. Our first priority was establishing a framework, a list of channels if you will. People needed choices. So, we did the standard Discord spiel. We made all kinds of welcome channels and conversation channels, but the real fun was to be had in the so called SFW channel, which stands for safe for work but really just translates to \u201cNo cocks\u201d. You can still curse in SFW, but at least you can get a word in edgewise. It\u2019s more than I can say for the NSFW channel, which remained the default. To this day, it\u2019s cock central. We\u2019re not going to change that. The people want what they want.<\/p>\n

The Great Empire of Goon<\/h2>\n

The Ides of March (That means the 15th<\/sup>. Keep up). <\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I took a few hours to sleep after we knew the server was definitely going to survive the night. We made sure to give mod privileges to a few of our most chatty members, so that there\u2019s at least some semblance of order in the server. Mostly we were just making sure that minors, transphobes and racists were kicked out of the server as fast as possible. The mods did a decent job of this.<\/p>\n

I woke up the next day and immediately jumped on Discord, skipping my customary morning fap ritual. I was hooked. I had to know what the community was saying to me and about me. I\u2019ve always been a celebrity, but you fucks never actually write back. You come, you see, you fap and you abandon me until you need to get another fix. Look at me, sounding like a clingy girlfriend. Look, I like that we have our little parasocial relationship, you and me. It\u2019s always been that way and I\u2019m not going to change. I promise. The Discord is just… a different world with vastly different rules.<\/p>\n

Speaking of rules, I broke one… about 1123 times. I didn\u2019t know. People kept sending me messages asking about the server and I just \u2026 sent them the link. This is apparently a big no-no on Discord. I got banned. Permanently. I had to exist on the server in spirit for a week before I could get back on properly. Luckily, in the meantime, I had a bunch of loyal subjects to do my bidding in the server. Again, they were mostly weeding out bigots and making sure that people were having a good time.<\/p>\n

Burnt Down, to the Ashes<\/h2>\n

The 16th<\/sup> of March 2023 \u2013 A clusterfuck, a traitor, a crisis and a renaissance<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I didn\u2019t sleep well that night. I dreamt of betrayal. Visions of Brutusus, Judases and Benedict Arnolds haunted my mind. I awoke and, in a stupor, reached for my phone. I had to see them again, my loyal followers. Alas, all there was, as far as the eye could see… the word \u201cN****r\u201d. (I\u2019m not going to say it out loud and you can\u2019t make me)<\/p>\n

One of the mods… one of MY mods that I personally vetted and approved of. One of the people that I trusted with my holy domain \u2026 betrayed me. And for what!? For… the… lulz. A thousand and two hundred people died that day. Well, not really they just got banned from the server and we got them all back, but it\u2019s still a fucking tragedy, ok!? Who would do something like that… just go on the internet and troll people?<\/p>\n

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There were only about a dozen of us left after the massacre. I can still hear the resignation in their voices as they said to me:<\/p>\n

Boss… PornDude… they hurt us. They hurt us bad. You weren\u2019t here. We called you, we needed your help, but you weren\u2019t here.<\/p>\n

I had abandoned my men all in the name of getting 8 hours of sleep. If I had only been more like Napoleon, if only I had napped on the battlefield and stayed there for my compatriots, ready for action… But alas, the enemy waited until I slept and they burned everything down.<\/p>\n

We picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off and got back to work.<\/p>\n

Picking Through the Ashes<\/h2>\n

The 16th<\/sup> of March 2023 \u2013 It was a long fucking day, ok?<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

One of my mods might have been a backstabber but the others, my god, the others. They stood valiantly. They fought the good fight, even while they knew they were going to lose and they rallied with me after I awoke, to put everything back in its place.<\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t take long until we were in the pipe, five by five. The server was restored to its former glory and then some. We even took the time to add a bunch of security features, automated bots that improved people\u2019s experience and all kinds of little optimizations to take The PornDude Discord server into its second era, which would hopefully be longer than the first.<\/p>\n

The Phoenix, Stronger than Ever<\/h2>\n

The 17th<\/sup> of March 2023 \u2013 Fighting for the right to goon and the will to love!<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

From having lost all of our members, to having 300 people back, all in a day. Then, we started growing almost exponentially. It\u2019s been… a magical time. Plus, the initial purge inadvertently cleared the server of any asshats who initially joined to fuck shit up. So, our sweetheart to dick ratio was better than ever. But that\u2019s not the best part of it all.<\/p>\n

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The best part is that this server, through no real credit of my own, became a welcoming place for people of all colors, sizes, shapes, denominations, genders, species, galaxies, dimensions and religions. We all became \u2026 allies, by default, simply because we took the time to appreciate one another and give everyone time to speak. Also, we posted cocks. A lot of cocks. We never stopped posting cocks. Heck, I even threw in some AI bots so that people can make original cocks if they\u2019d like. These bots they actually used for making pussies. I can\u2019t fucking satisfy these people. You give them pussy, they post cock. You give them AI, they post pussy. I don\u2019t understand young people.<\/p>\n

The Future of Goon<\/h2>\n

Today… in the now<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I\u2019m so grateful for the shit these people have done on my Discord server. I couldn\u2019t have done it without them. They\u2019re amazing people. Every day I jump in to see what kind of crazy shenanigans they\u2019re up to. Some days they post cocks, other days they post cocks and debate international politics. You never know what you\u2019re going to get with your cocks on this server!<\/p>\n

Thank you, my loyal fans, for building the greatest Discord server I\u2019ve ever had the pleasure of being in. Thank you for all the jokes, the laughs and even the scary times. I hope this server continues to grow. I hope that the power of faps will unite people from around the globe around a common goal. We\u2019re all here to have fun. We\u2019re all here to fap. We\u2019re all here to laugh, cry, talk, whine, whinge and moan. And of course, we\u2019re going to fap again afterwards.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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