According to a recent study by Harvard University, the Internet is now composed of 92% free sex tubes. It’s staggering to think about. In the time it took you to read this, 14 new tubes have emerged, dripping insane amounts of HD gangbangs, Asian titty fucks, and teenage tribbing. Porn1s is a newer tube that has popped up within the last few months and just landed on my radar. As you may know, I’m something of a connoisseur of free pornography, so I was eager to whip out the old pocket pussy and give this new girl a spin.
A Smorgasbord of Free Filth
Porn1s.com isn’t anything special to look at. It just looks like your typical free sex tube with a white background, a simulation of cleanliness that fails to hide the dirty smut on the page. It’s like walking into a high-class shopping center and seeing a lady with her butthole spread out and a few Big Black Cocks deep inside her. Their logo looks good for something that was probably whipped up in a few minutes, just some plain text and a little clip art sexy lady in the O.
The porn does look pretty fucking dope. Right now, people are watching a couple of students getting punished by a gorgeous nun, a Korean housewife getting it doggy style in a hotel room, and a first-time teenager toying with her furry coochie in front of the camera. There is a fucking ton of Asian stuff being watched right now, including some Chinese S&M. I wonder if that’s because the viewers have yellow fever, or if the tube specializes in Oriental ladies getting their twats pummeled.
I think it’s just the current viewers, because the next section is the Newest Porn Videos. It’s just a goddamn smorgasbord of all kinds of nasty filth. I’m not sure if they do batch uploads or what, because nothing seems to have been added today, but the first few pages of new stuff say they were uploaded one day ago. It’s pretty clear that updates happen all the goddamn time, which is great on any porn site, free or premium. Actually, you’d be hard-pressed to find a paysite that adds this much content.
I love how Porn1s has a bunch of sharing buttons at the top of the screen. I know I use those things all the time on porn sites, but I’m also fine with my grandma knowing that I love jacking off to barely legal taboo threesome videos and nasty orgies where a bitch gets jizz in her eye. I actually thought it was normal to share your sexual proclivities with the family until I found out incest porn was usually fake.
A Spammy Free Tube with an App? Sounds Safe!
Porn1s.com is one of the very few free sex tubes that has its own app. There is a Download link above the header to the site. Since it’s not in the official Google store, that means you’re going to have to manually tell your phone to trust this third-party application that you downloaded from a website featuring doctors exams that end in anal sex.
Look, I ain’t your fucking dad. I’m not going to tell you not to download an app from a free sex tube, nor am I going to tell you you have to wear a condom while banging that crack whore behind 7-11. You’re a grown ass adult, and you make your own decisions. I will say it seems like a stupid idea, and I’m definitely not going to try it. If these guys were big and well-established, I’d be willing to give it a shot, but they’d have to have a reputation like Pornhub first.
Short Clips and Long Clips for Your Medium Dick
One thing I noticed already on the front page is that Porn1s has a mix of different clip lengths. A lot of them look like the typical sample fuck scene you’ll find on any free sex tube, running around 10 minutes or so. It’s enough time for a quick wank, but if you’re a marathon stroker or the boss is out of the office today, you may want to opt for one of their longer videos, of which there are plenty.
Right on the front page, I see a half-hour clip of a thick white girl getting fucked from every angle and a couple of longer clips starring Paige Owens and Emily Willis. I like that I see a bunch of recognizable porn sluts already, even though I wish that Ariana Marie's video was longer than 12 minutes. It’s a sample clip from Tushy Raw, so what do you expect? I’m definitely going to watch it anyway.
There is a video ad before the movie that my ad-blocker sort of takes care of. I still have to wait five seconds before I can click the Skip Video button, which is still annoying. There’s another Download button for that app, and I wonder if they show as many ads as they do on the web. I’d bet money they do, and again, I’m not willing to download it to try it out.
After the video ad, I get a montage of sexy broads shaking their butts, walking around, and showing off the butt plugs sticking out of their poopers. The Porn1s watermark’s in the corner, and then God fucking dammit, the video stops. In its place, there is a black box that says I have to turn off my ad blocker in order to watch the video.
I refreshed the page to see if I could somehow trick the fucking thing, but no dice. I really fucking hate this shit, and I really can’t encourage anybody to turn off their ad blocker just to watch a free sex tube. There are plenty of sites on my list that you can watch without pulling your laptop or phone’s condom off. I am The Porn Dude, and this is what I do, so I’m going to remove my protection and dive face-first into this spammy muff. I hope you fucking appreciate what I do for you.
Spam and Low-Resolution Buttfucking
I turned off my plug-in and refreshed the page. Now there are banners all over the place, and a 32-year-old named Jessica waving at me and asking “Want to fuck me?” I do, but that doesn’t make me stupid enough to click that Yes button. Instead, I clicked the Play icon on the video I was trying to watch in the first place.
This time, I get a pop-up and that video ad starts playing. It’s a hentai game “guaranteed” to make me come before I even start playing or some bullshit like that. I skip it after five seconds, and there’s that montage again. This time the butts and buttplugs segue into some hardcore butt fucking, the Tushy Raw intro.
The video starts playing at 640, so I bumped it up to “Original HD”. That’s fucking bullshit, because it’s still grainy as hell.
I’m kind of fucking annoyed that I’m watching a sample clip in low resolution on a spammy tube, so I look for something better. There is a full-length scene starring Adriana Chechik listed in the Related Videos below, so I give that motherfucker a try.
Well, At Least They Have Full-Length Scenes
The Adriana clip is a scene from Bang.com, and this time it plays with a video ad but no pop-up. The resolution is already in “Original HD”, and it already looks pretty fucking bad. Jesus Christ, it’s grainy even before I make it full-screen. There are retards out there who will see the HD icon and believe it, but I guess it’s not my responsibility to make anyone go get their eyes checked. You definitely shouldn’t be driving out on the road, though, because you’re a blind menace.
Porn1s is just getting off the ground right now. If they survive at all with these low-resolution movies misrepresented as high definition, plus all this inescapable spam, it’s because they have premium shit for free. They’ve also got a lot of sample movies from the paysites for free, the same shit you see on any other tube but with a hell of a lot more fucking spam. The trade-off might be worth it if you’re a stone-cold pirate who doesn’t care if your favorite pornstars miss out on their cut, and you’re looking for specific shit from a paysite. Maybe. Most casual masturbators shouldn’t waste their time with this one.