I remember the old days of porn, when all you had to beat off to was whatever you could find under your old man’s mattress. Now you can watch any deviant sex act ever committed to film with just a few clicks of a mouse. If flesh-and-blood sluts ain’t good enough for you, flawless animated babes await. You can even get interactive with these simulated fuck-puppets in video games like Planes Of Eros, currently on Nutaku.
I’ve talked about Nutaku before. In case you haven’t had time yet to check out my full review, it’s a platform for an enormous collection of hentai games. It’s full of dating sims, hentai card battles, and sexualized tower defense games. If you’re looking for a titty-themed clicker or an RPG with both upgradeable swords and hardcore monster banging, then Nutaku is the place. Today I’m going to focus on one of their recent offerings, Planes of Eros.
In a nutshell, Planes of Eros is something of a hybrid between a casino game and a classic role-playing game. It’s got a fantasy theme and a ton of dirty sex. Basically, you get sucked into another world where you find out you’re some prophesied stud with a magic dick, and it’s up to you to save the day.
Prepare Your Masturbatory Device
Planes of Eros is free to play, but you’ve got to use an Android device. Apple users are out of luck on this one. You can sign up via the web page for the low price of just one sacrificial email address (FREE), but it just takes you to the game’s page on Nutaku.
Google doesn’t like porno in their official Play store, so you’ll have to download directly from Nutaku. Your phone will probably tell you it’s a bad idea, and then direct you to the settings so you can allow outside apps. Use common sense here. If you’re going to take the condom off your phone, be careful where you stick it. You’ll probably want to change that setting back after installing.
The installation file is only about 60MB, but expands to about 650MB when you first run it. Make sure you have enough room on your phone or go upgrade to a newer toilet porn-viewer. Enjoy the cheesy ‘90s video game music while it downloads and installs. It took me about 10 minutes.
I didn’t know much about the game going in, and this long loading screen didn’t tell me much, either. The sexy, big-boobed cat lady crying and sexy, big-boobed witch glaring only told me there’d be some sexy, big-boobed ladies in various costumes.
The first real clue what was in store came when the app asked for my name. “Master, what is your name?”
Master, am I? I like the sound of that.
Another Universe of Sex
The opening cutscene for the game is pretty fucking funny. The lead character, that’s you, downloads a porn game off of Nutaku. He starts goosing the gherkin while a chick in some kind of maid outfit swordfights a witch on his tablet.
That cartoon cock is really something because both of the game sluts stop fighting to look at it through the screen. The maid bitch gets angry and says, “Stop jerking around and help me fight!”
The audio dialogue is in Japanese, but the subtitles are in English, as with other Nutaku games. If hearing those bubbly anime voices chirp gets you going, you may want headphones and some lotion.
RPGs, Slot Machines, and Bondage Fucking
You get your first taste of gameplay as soon as sword maid, AKA Iris pulls you in. It looks a lot like the battle screen from your typical RPG like Final Fantasy. Good guys are on the left, bad guys are on the right, and you’re going to take turns hitting each other. In between the combatants, taking center stage, is a big slot machine.
All of the gameplay revolves around the slot machine. You adjust your bet right above the button that lets you spin. Every time it comes to a stop, some complicated patterns flash on top of everything, presumably boosting your score.
There’s a tutorial that will walk you through the first handful of fights, bringing in elements one by one. There are a variety of special attacks and healing powers you can use, divided into a range of sub-powers. For example, you can use a Master Crest called a Golden Shower, which is a fancy way of saying you’re healing some hit points.
Your dude has a really strong attack called Sexcalibur. Activating it sends a huge beam of light exploding from his genitals at whatever enemy whore gets in his way. We learn early in the game that this magic penis is why he was brought to their world. He’s the chosen one people have been talking about.
If you’re looking for deep, strategic gameplay, you’ll find it here. It really feels like a slot machine with the complexity of a turn-based RPG battle. There’s a lot to consider in your quest to line up plant icons in hopes of seeing someone’s pussy get stuffed.
If you’re like me and prefer simpler mechanics between the sex scenes, you can just hold the auto-spin button when it’s your turn to attack. In the half-dozen fights I played through, I didn’t really consider my attacks. I didn’t lose any battles, but it probably gets harder later, hopefully as you do.
I can’t say I pack my palm to very much hentai. That said, the broads in the cutscenes would be grade-A ass if they were made of meat. The characters on the battle screen, for some reason, are drawn in this cutesy style that looks like it was made for fucking babies. It’s the opposite of sexy. Maybe I just don’t understand hentai, but I can’t understand why the fuck they would do that.
The Fuck Scenes
I’ve mentioned the sexy anime girls in the cutscenes, and the bondage fucking. You’re probably scrolling around, looking for the good stuff. Okay, let’s talk about the sex scenes.
I had just noticed the stupid character art on the battle screen when the fight ended. We won, of course. I fully unleashed my “sword”, in quotes because they were implying it was really my magical boner, and the screen flooded with white.
When the brightness faded, the witch bitch, Belial, was tied up with rope, luscious tits aimed at the screen. Our hero fucked her slowly from behind.
“This is waste of time, no matter how many times you do it!” she yells. The speed increases and she submits to the pleasure.
If you’re jacking off to Planes of Eros, this is your first real opportunity. The click-through dialogue lets you take it at your own pace.
A few minutes later, as you’re heading off into a forest, there’s a blowjob scene. This one features a nymph with green dreadlocks who refers to your magic wand as your little brother.
I mashed the auto-spin button until I got through a couple more fights, but didn’t immediately find more sex scenes. You can access the porno bits later through a gallery in the menu.
Pay to Play
Like other free-to-play games, Planes of Eros does try to sell you in-game perks like crystals and coins. Coins are used for special attacks, and crystals can be used to purchase the sex servants that make up your squad of fighters.
Servants come up randomly when purchased, trading-card style. I mostly got Common babes, all armed and scantily clad, but one was Rare and another was Sexy Rare. The Sexy Rare chick had an axe, bunny ears, and what I have to assume is the kind of Sexy Lumberjack costume cheap sluts buy on clearance the day after Halloween.
I didn’t pay any actual money for anything, but I didn’t play very long. As with any game with in-app purchases, you probably get further, faster, if you’re willing to shell out cash.
The battle/slot mechanics are solid enough that you could kill some time in a waiting room with this, but then the sex scenes will be awkward. Likewise, those sex scenes are top-notch when you’re alone, but you have to play a lot of game to reach them. Planes of Eros is a polished game, and definitely for someone. I’m just not sure who.